Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[Gardener]

ant,

I think people, some of em' anyway, are able to justify their actions...regardless of how mean, vindictive, and wrong they are. Destroying a family, destroying the only safety and security the kids have ever known...and then trying to take the kids away from the STBXS by whatever rotten means necessary, and also taking punitive actions designed to leave the STBXS destitute financially by whatever rotten means necessary...and being completely able to justify these actions in one's own mind...well, it's hard for me to understand that when it's being done by someone that once professed undying love for me...someone who I believed I would go through life with......
Hurt and disappointment are the main emotions in my life right now. I keep thinking it'll get better, but so far, it continues to get worse.

No words of wisdom for you,man.
Just - I understand completely.

[cat03]

it's the hardest part, it /WILL get better! it just doesnt' seem like it now.

[antlers]

Bridge, StupidRomeo, Gardener, and cat03...thanks all for posting. I feel pretty 'beat up' right now. All this horribly bad crap going on, and the relationship I have with my attorney isn't a good one. I've got lots of money invested in the case already. She gets pissed off at me, talks down to me, and doesn't communicate well with me regarding the case...especially via e-mail. It's frustrating and disappointing. I don't understand it; I've even asked her about it via e-mail...no response. I just gotta get through this crap, and try to come out of it as well as I can.

Thank God my son is still with me. I feel like he and I are doing so much better. I'm still learning better ways to do things and handle different situations with him. It warms my heart for him to say "I love you dad" out of the clear blue. He is volatile...but I'm learning not to 'react'. I'm learning to wait until he calms down, and then saying very few words to him about the situation that pissed him off in the first place. People, I'm learning, aren't receptive to reason when they are pissed. So don't bother. The time that he and I have been spending together is overwhelmingly good. God, I've give a testicle if I could go back a few years knowing what I know now. His mom got mad at him because he wanted to stay with me, so she wouldn't give him back his MP3 player, his cell phone, his iPod Touch, his green security blanket (which he's slept with every night since he was a baby), his bathing suit, or his Nike high socks! It's been over 2 weeks and she still hasn't given him his stuff back. I'm seeing some of the sweet boy that was part of his character starting to come back out...he's gotten a lot of hard bark on him since his mother decided to leave. I miss my youngest daughter, and I miss my oldest daughter. The opposing side did not want to settle, they pushed for a trial...so now we have a trial date set for the end of July. My sons grandparents (on his mothers side) have been berating and belittling him on FaceBook for wanting to be with his dad. It bothers him a lot. I can't wait to pick him up after I get off tonight.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Sorry to hear it antlers.

Facebook- tell your son to de-friend them all...

I hear what you're saying about this divorce crap but you're getting closer to the end so hang in there. In probably less than 6 months time you'll be a free man! just hang in there and do your best.

Also, don't email her etc unless it's about the kids or a life threatening emergency. Please just go through the lawyers...she's no itentions of talking with you directly and you'll only keep getting hurt from having expectations from her...even about her responding. So go completely dark.

You'll be OK antlers, it may take time but you'll be OK. She's just showing her true colors like my STBXW and quite frankly it's helped me get over her emotionally because I was still hoping for a reconciliation but now I just want her out of my life so I can move on with my DD.

How old are your kids (sorry still haven't gone back to read your sitch from the start)

[antlers]

The relationship I have with my attorney isn't a good one. I've got lots of money invested in the case already. She (my attorney) gets pissed off at me, talks down to me, and doesn't communicate well with me regarding the case...especially via e-mail. It's frustrating and disappointing. I don't understand it; I've even asked her about it via e-mail...no response. I just gotta get through this crap, and try to come out of it as well as I can.

Just wanted to clarify that I was talking about my attorney here!

My son is 12, my daughter is 13, and my oldest daughter (hers from a previous marriage) is 21.

[ImprovedRomeo]

holy cow! antlers you need to fire her @ss now! she already screwed up big time getting you in more a tough situation that was completely unnecessary. antlers, I'm urging you to look for another attorney. I went through this myself and the new (law firm as opposed to a single dirt-bag) attorney's *much* better and I have access to other attorneys in the firm as needed. Please do this now before the trial. I know you've invested money into her (like I did) but a one time cost of $3-5k is well worth it to have someone that's good, willing to work with you and won't drop the ball.

[antlers]

Facebook- tell your son to de-friend them all...

I've just been listening to him when he wants to discuss it with me, and being supportive. I don't want to encourage him to de-friend his family members...if he wants to do that on his own, he can.

[antlers]

holy cow! antlers you need to fire her @ss now! she already screwed up big time getting you in more a tough situation that was completely unnecessary. antlers, I'm urging you to look for another attorney. I went through this myself and the new (law firm as opposed to a single dirt-bag) attorney's *much* better and I have access to other attorneys in the firm as needed. Please do this now before the trial. I know you've invested money into her (like I did) but a one time cost of $3-5k is well worth it to have someone that's good, willing to work with you and won't drop the ball.

I really don't know what to do at this point. I've been working with this attorney for 8 and 1/2 months...so you can figure that I've got a ton of money invested in the case, via this attorney, already! I'll lose it all, for naught, if I fire her. I can't take a financial hit like that, especially now. She does seem to have some animosity towards me. As I said, I don't understand it. And 400 bucks for a 20 minute appraisal on my 2000 square foot home was a total screwin'...IMO. She came highly recommended, and is well known in this area for her litigation skills. I do feel like she dropped the ball on the child support thing, and I wouldn't be in that trouble if she had been on top of things like she should have been. She's taken zero responsibility for it. I want her to put the effort into my case like she has for some rather notable cases in this area. I am dependant on her to a huge degree. I'm going to attempt to communicate with her again regarding the poor relationship that I feel exists between she and I.

[Gardener]

ant,

holy cow! antlers you need to fire her @ss now!

I agree 100% with Romeo on this. You may lose what you've already dropped on her $-wise, but her actions - or inactions - may cause you to lose a lot more in this process.

and the relationship I have with my attorney isn't a good one.

She gets pissed off at me

talks down to me

doesn't communicate well with me regarding the case.

I've even asked her about it via e-mail...no response.

Broke this down into multiple quotes for emphasis.
Rethink this, ant.

[antlers]

I don't know what to do. I feel like, before I fire my attorney, I ought to try, once more, to touch bases with her and let her know how I feel, very specifically, about how things have gone so far. She seems like the type that, after I talk to her, she just might fire me!

I'm sorta up a stump with this. I've spent a TON of money already!