I see what you mean about this too. I am looking back at how I interact with W. The communications I have had with her since the bomb. I realize I come from a place that FORCES my own agenda. I get frustrated when my ideas are not understood. I want to fix, I don't want to listen. I solve problems...
This screams control.
Do you see that?
I am willing to bet this has been going on since before the bomb..
Last edited by cat04; 05/20/1012:03 PM. Reason: I'm blond
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Mach is right...You need to do the changes for yourself..or else they won't stick and everybody will know why. Keep reading...listening..and doing the right things for you everyday.
Pretty list, and while specific at times...vauge at others.
Which ones are you working on killing?
An example.
Old Jack was a slug who played computer games and ignored his family, including his wife and two boys.
Jack got active, limited his games to an Xbox 360 when he worked out. Went hiking got into sword fighting involved himself more with his boys couldn't do much with his wife at the time. Became a better dad.
Old Jack used to let shite fester.
Jack got honest if he didn't like something, inclduing in himself.
"It's OK..." Passive Aggressive bullshit that follwed got replaced with: "I'm not sure if you meant to insult me, however, this is how this seems to me."
Refine your mirror work to laser sights on your failings...find them, hunt them down and kill them.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 05/20/1005:07 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Old Jack was a slug who played computer games and ignored his family, including his wife and two boys.
Jack got active, limited his games to an Xbox 360 when he worked out. Went hiking got into sword fighting involved himself more with his boys couldn't do much with his wife at the time. Became a better dad.
Old Jack used to let shite fester.
Jack got honest if he didn't like something, inclduing in himself.
"It's OK..." Passive Aggressive bullshit that follwed got replaced with: "I'm not sure if you meant to insult me, however, this is how this seems to me."
These are the kinds of WHATS I was talking about.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Jack - EXCELLENT POST. I needed this. I'm gonna take some time and post some specifics. I really needed this post. Once again. Thanks.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hey True, still a little too much, my wife this and my wife that for my liking. Just sayin.
When you make the list, it has to be things you have realized about yourself that you don't like or want to change, ya know?
I know it gets exciting to think that all of this is coming together in your head. But really, it should come quietly, thoughtfully, not like a bolt of lightning.
Keep the focus on you. What are the some things you always wanted to try? In what ways could you be a better person?
And you really cant know your wife's point of view because, well, its her point of view.
My list does need to be refined. It is only the first glance in the mirror so to speak.
I had a very interesting two days. As I have mentioned I moved back to a town that I have spent most of my professional career.
I am getting such a warm reception I cannot eeven believe it. My former partner in a firm I founded here 13 years ago has been making a lot of enemies so everyone has been very encouraging for me to be back in the community essentially competing...
...that is a GREAT feeling.
I've not heard from W...not really worried about that. Wha? Did i just say that?
Yes I did...
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
I'm happy for you dude! Bottle up the..."great feeling" and refer back to it on those days when you may feel a little down.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
