My wife was sending love poetry to her old (married) HS boyfriend and posting it on her facebook and classmates page.
Your posting made me wonder if she is feeling hopless because of the fact that she can not have him since he is married and has five kids and lives in FL. It makes sense now. She cant have him but had no problem throwing me and her family away to chase her fantasy. Lovely!
Sorry for the highjack.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
You are interpreting her MOOD as her COMMITMENT... STOP it.
Allen, My W is browsing wedding dresses online. My W is searching quotes of love toward OM online and saving them. My W is searching how OM can retain custody of his child or have same rights as OMW.
I acknowledge this could all be fantasy in her head but at the same time I won't put anything past the two.
My W has changed passwords for accounts to include the word 'mistake'
My W tells me OM knows the real her and I do not.
I understand there are far worse sitches on this forum and for that I empathize but to me this is devastating.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
W decided she would go up tot he hospital and visit FIL GF. I asked if it was OK if I too went, W said it was fine.
We went up to visit. On the way up there we had serious talk regarding FIL situation and my W brother's outlook (whole other story). W also told me where she went when she left earlier.
W visit for a little bit. I exhibit a caring person showing compassion for FIL GF. I went out my way to track down a nurse to get her meds.
When we were leaving I gave FIL GF a hug and words of encouragement. W did same and as we walked out W said "We love you"
On the way home we talked more about brother and then sister of my W.
We then spoke about MIL. My W has grudge against her mother saying "I don't know where her head is, the problem is, she got married to my father at 17 then had children in her 20s, then when her and my father separated she went back to being a teenager....going out all the time ect.."
I wonder if that how W sees herself now, we met when she was 14..
We then spoke about taking the dog for a walk and seeing the sunset. So we went to the waterfront with our dog took pictures, fooled around with the dog watched some of the sunset then went home...
on the way home we stopped for some food (take out) went home and ate and watched TV. W is now in bed.
W has been very distant. I recall when we would go to the same place and watch the sunsets and how close us to were...
It feels odd, it is like she is someone else W or GF.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Her mood is driving her right now OIN... You have to pocket that crap and keep pushing.
I realize it's devastating... we all feel like some alien mothership has taken the brains of our spouse and replaced them with some sinister program to drive us all into a mad house...
You have to trust your ten years together and that it has some pull for you. You have to trust that there is a bond there that she's HIDING from you and right now would never admit to.
You have to trust that she's staying there with you right now because she wants to.
And I firmly believe that if she DID want out of there she would be out.
I honeslty think she's partly testing your resolve.. there's a lot of hurt there so you are gonna get a lot of hoops tossed at you... You need to hit every one on the mark.
If she wanted to cut things off OIN she woudln't be talking to you, she wouldn't be allowing you to keep her company to visit her FGF or any of this... there is an attachment there that she doens't even understand.
You need to trust that she will come back sometime... it may take many months yet.. But I honestly think she's giving you a chance here... I don't know if even SHE realizes it, but her actions are giving you chances every time she talks to you or allows you to come along with her... She's giving you hoops every day.. just keep hitting them and hang in there man.
You have to trust your ten years together and that it has some pull for you. You have to trust that there is a bond there that she's HIDING from you and right now would never admit to.
I could only hope on the other hand I said and did some terrible things.
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I checked the phone logs. During the time my W had left this morning/early afternoon she had text a female from work (about 20 text msgs in exchange). This is the same female who has, what I come to understand, open relationship with her husband. She is seeing someone my W and her work with. The person this female co-worker is seeing is best friends with OM.
The first text msg was right after I left for church. Once the text messages began my W then started to do all those google searches for "father rights to child."
I am not sure if this female/her 'boy friend' are acting as mediators for my W and OM.
My W is hiding so much from me but yet says "I have nothing to hide"...I want to call her out on so much but yet I act as if I m ignorant to it all...
Last edited by OfficerInNeed; 05/17/1003:55 AM.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
You have to trust that she's staying there with you right now because she wants to.
And I firmly believe that if she DID want out of there she would be out.
I don't know about this. I have a feeling that if OM was single she'd be gone. It's been joked about that women are like monkeys, they don't let go of one branch until they have a hold on another. Demeaning but also sometimes very true.
