SA- I am not sure. My gut tells me no more contact but I could be wrong. I think it is over and has been for months, but again just going on gut based on things I have observed.
I am feeling pretty good today. I like days like this.:)
You know, I was thinking again (maybe one of these days it will be drilled into my thick head:)) about how long it took my H to slide into the MLC. I am not sure when it started, but I noticed subtle and then not so subtle changes in him for months pre-bomb, probably well over a year. It only makes sense that the climb back out will take a long time. Who knows how long before that the thoughts started.
hello tf, part of my process of getting to grips with this whole situation ahs been to draw a timeline of my husband's MLC - I have always kept a Journal and Diary - I got a roll of lining paper and drew it out. The result was amazing - it showed me that my husband has signs of MLC back in 2001 - this knowledge showed me that my husband is in deep and that means a long hard haul for me.
You are doing really well and you should be proud of yourslef
lalxx
Choose Life Me: 45 Him: 44 S:11 D:8 Met in 1992 Married in 1995 Bomb drop September 30th 2009 Divorce final April 16th 2011 exH Marries OW June 17th 2011
Lalxx - For me it is hard to draw a timeline. I know my H had a QLC about 10 years ago and I think those issues he dealt with then never did go away and were always festering in the back of his mind. In fact, when I first realized something was really wrong with him this time he said he felt like things got "swept under the rug" back then. Hopefully he is dealing with them now.
But really between then and his MLC he for the most part seemed fine, our relationship was good, etc.
Wondering if anyone had opinions on this - would trying to get my H (emphasis on TRYING) to work on some kind of budget with me be too much of an "R talk" at this point? I am so tired of being the one to shoulder that burden alone, but don't know if it would be too pushy at this point.
I have only minimally been able to talk to him about money the past year and a half. It has gotten better and he has been cleaning up his financial messes, but I just don't know . . .
Didn't you just find information that he had been kinda reckless with money not too long ago?
That would be kinda like stopping at ( insert major chain hardware store) to get an extension cord so they can plug in the chair at your execution wouldn't it ?
I don't know that I trust him enough to give him any of the bill paying responsibilities or anything like that, I am just thinking along the lines of trying to get him to realize how much money we have coming in, how much going out, etc. Very basic.
This is I suppose part of the pushing too hard too soon. I am trying to think of a way to word things to kind of feel him out to see if he is willing to even talk about things (a few months ago when I mentioned it he basically just told me he didn't want to be accountable. Hmmm).
It is exhausting being the only one trying to juggle everything when both of us make the money and both of us spend it.
I don't know. I have been handing it this long. I suppose I need to longer. At least he is being more responsible.
