(((Mila))) Thanks for the reminder. I will be honest, not knowing for sure about the existence/nonexistence of an OW does make me a little crazy. I am glad he has not flaunted it, but I wish I knew either way for sure so I could deal with it.
I have noted that the past few weeks while in some ways he does seem to have made some positive little steps in my direction, in other ways he definitely seems more withdrawn or something. It is really hard to explain. Trying to not think about it too much otherwise it is crazy-making.
Hello, how are you? I can't remember if I have ever posted to you but I certainly do read all the MLC threads!
Re your H's one step forward and two ? backwards. Remember, it is hardly ever a straight line that they walk back. And zig zagging is so much fun, isn't it??
Well, zig zagging is certainly more . . . interesting, I suppose. I had to laugh, reminded me of the cartoons where someone is shooting a gun and the little cartoon character is running zig zag trying to get away from the bullets.
I know that some people use water pistols to train their cats. It discourages the cat from developing destructive habits. I wonder if it would work on H's and ow's?
FWIW I believe your H is one of the rare ones that did not get involved with an ow. If he had you would have found evidence by now. You've known things were different for quite a while now and there is no way with your heightened awareness that he would have been able to 'hide' an ow for this length of time.
It sounds like he is making his way out of the tunnel and unfortunately LBS's are the last to be reconnected with. You are such an inspiration as your growth through your own journey is so visible.
Hugs to you as you dig a little deeper for more patience.
SA, Thanks so much for your kind words. Some days lately I don't feel like I am doing as well as I could/should be but am working on it.:) This journey is what we make it and I don't want to be one that becomes bitter and hardened.
I do too think he is making his way out. Slowly. There are just so many ways I see him being like his "old" self, even ways I haven't seen since well before the bomb. Just trying to be patient. Some of the things he has done for me are things I don't think he would if he didn't care at least at some level.
The OW thing, I wish I thought there really wasn't one but I do strongly suspect an EA. He was just too strange about his phone even in the couple months leading up to the bomb. I don't have access to the phone records so no proof. I think it was a long distance EA that he may never qualify as more than a friendship. But the phone thing is really my only "evidence." A couple of comments he made early on made me suspect who it is, too. Time may tell. Or may not.
