Just a quick vent/minor pity party. This weekend is my anniversary. We obviously didn't celebrate last year and I don't expect it to be acknowledged at all this year, either (and it won't be by me). I am sad. I have plans to spend the day with the kids doing some fun things (and will invite H if he chooses to join) which will hopefully go a long way in making me take my mind off of it. But I am still sad. Really, I just can't wait to put it past me so I dont' have to dread it anymore.
tf - I'm right there with you. My 24th anniversary is/would be May 17th. My H moved out 2 years ago in July - this will be the 3rd not celebrated - 2nd not acknowledged (except by me). It is tough. Although not divorced, not really married anymore - but the day still has meaning (and maybe moreso now). Hang in there. Keep busy! My H will have the kids on "the day" so I will have to find something else to do...............
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
The dreaded anniversaries, B-Days, family celebrations....that meant so much before....so hard to take.
I'm dreading Mother's Day....H always gave me a gift, took me out, or made a special dinner for me and I was just looking at the beautiful card that he gave me last year where he expresses his undying love for me - forever...when he was already 2 months in the affair.
Sorry that probably sounds depressing and bitter....just had to get it out.
On Mother's day I'm planning to do something nice for myself, not sure what yet
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Really, I just can't wait to put it past me so I dont' have to dread it anymore.
TF,
Why dread it?
You are anticipating the misery.
THAT is what is making you sad.
It is still a day.
An important one in your life.
A day to be proud of and remembered because of all of the joy that it brought to your life…
Without it, you would not have those beautiful babies or a lot of the good times that you have had…
Regardless of whether that particular event is something you celebrate anymore, the day resulted in many special things for you…
Don’t let that be taken away from you just because you won’t celebrate the event right now…
You know you may never again, as hard as that is to admit sometimes…
Are you going to forever let that day, that DATE, be ruined for you?
Reminds me of September 11 actually…
I always try to honor those that suffered and remember the good that has come from it (although there are days that it is difficult) instead of letting the anniversary of it remind me of the sadness that was brought on this country. Because a lot of good did come from it…
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
You are a wonderful mother! Your children have ways of thanking you all the time-you've mentionned some of them on this board! Remember that and keep it up-it will be worth it!
Happy Mother's Day!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
TF, I feel for you especially after just going through it last weekend.
One thing I did for myself was gather my children around me and I told them because of this day I was blessed with them. I chose to be thankful that I had H in my life for without him I would not have known the joys of them and for that I will be forever grateful.
It can still be a special day TF if you want it to be.
