It's early in the day but for that one, You get today's Belly-Laugh Of The Day Award!
(And, oh, if only they would tear down that carefully-constructed wall and come back out for just a bit and see what's changed . And what could be (better) again (sigh)).
"For when love dies, it is not in a moment of angry battle, Nor when fiery bodies lose their heat. It lies panting, exhausted At the bottom of a wall it could not scale."
Robert A. McCray
Last edited by Gardener; 04/20/1003:56 PM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
"For when love dies, it is not in a moment of angry battle, Nor when fiery bodies lose their heat. It lies panting, exhausted At the bottom of a wall it could not scale."
Times were tough love was not enough So you said sorry Johnny I'm gone gone gone You said my act was funny But we both knew what was missing honey So you let out on your own Now that pretty form that you've got baby Will make sure you get along But you're gonna find out someday honey
CHORUS When you're alone you're alone When you're alone you're alone When you're alone you're alone When you're alone you ain't nothing but alone
Now I was young and pretty on the mean streets of the city And I fought to make 'em my home With just the shirt on my back I left and swore I'd never look back And man I was gone gone gone But there's things that'll knock you down you don't even see coming And send you crawling like a baby back home You're gonna find out that day sugar
CHORUS
I knew some day your runnin' would be through And you'd think back on me and you And your love would be strong You'd forget all the bad and think only of all the laughs that we had And you'd wanna come home Now it ain't hard feelings or nothin' sugar That ain't what's got me singing this song It's just nobody knows baby where love goes But when it goes it's gone gone
Well it's a good thing Reagan was president, I guess, and that I trusted but verified. The money part of STBX's story was basically true (if not completely so), but the narrative within which it was situated was bullsh*t. After accidentally running into her at the elementary school, I had her come in the kitchen, and she sort of laid it down - seasoned with a few (ignored) barbs - and the upshot was: "Be clear about this - I don't want to take a bath on this house, and I don't think you do either. But by the same token, I don't want to hold on to this house longer than necessary because I absolutely don't want to live here ever again - it's just got too many associations."
In other words, stick to plan. I live here with Themselves until The Boy leaves 5th grade next year.
Fast forward to yesterday. Kids back from their mother's house. The Boy: "Dad, what's a c*cks*cker?"
SP Himself: Uh {thought bubble: what did he say? What?? Emergency! Call the Red Cross! Call the National Guard! Ah-ooga! Ah-ooga! Go to Defcon 2!}. Yes. Well. You, er, see, ah, son. That's not the kind of thing we, ah, um, say in polite society. Where {the hell / on earth / for the gods' sake} did you hear such a thing?
The Boy [in that story-telling sing-song kids have]: Last night? When The Girl-child and I were playing "Battleship"? Mommy was talking on the phone? And she started yelling? And she said that she wants her house back from that - that word? - because why was she supposed to move out?
SP: Ah. Well. I'm sure I don't know what your Mom was referring to, but that's the kind of language adults sometimes use, and it's just best if you delete it from your mind.
Well, well, well. Set up like a bowling pin. Trust, but verify. The Mouthpiece will work this issue from now on.
@SP>>>"But for the Board - does the lying ever stop?"
I believe it becomes habit. In my case, it hasn't stopped yet, although, I can't really say it would never. Hence the need for; "Trust, but verify."
Happy to see that you're sticking with your plan... a little sad that you're more-than-likely not going to be heading in a baja direction for the next coupla years
Hmmmmm...does the lying stop? I seriously doubt it. I think they believe their lies and rely on them to validate their actions. And my X (the one who got married to OW 14 days after the divorce and will still swear they were just friends) actully said to me a few weeks ago he NEVER lies. I literally laughed out loud. "You keep telling yourself that Pinocchio!"
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
I don't think it comes down to 'lying'. My divorcing spouse no longer had my back. He no longer had my best interests at heart.
A civil (or not so civil) demeanor evolved with face to face conversations in order to facilitate the best outcome for him. If that didn't work, he'd manipulate, threaten and bully to meet his objectives (traits which helped him excel in business). When alone, he (as did I) vented with friends the true feelings and frustrations based on core emotions.
And that's why, at least for me, it was very difficult during the divorce when the former spouse put forth objectives which triggered my sense of us being a team, working together for a common good (which I associated with a positive aspect of our marriage). And I continually, repetitively learned that that was not the case. I was no longer his emotional confidant. I was someone he wanted out of his life because of all the "pain and misery" I caused him.
Duh.
To each their own perspective.
My mantra was that I was a good caring person going into the divorce, and I was going to be good and caring coming out of the divorce.
And I found that the man I pledged to spend the rest of my life with was truly an adversary, and pulled no punches when his sense of entitlement was threatened.
