TF, Remember......Last Mile, you are on the last mile. It is still a mile, a long way by any measure. If I told you to get up and run 1 mile right now, no shoes, no atheletic wear, no water, nothing, you would have problems running that mile. You have been running a marathon, you have on the shoes, you have the proper attire, you have prepared....relative to what you have done in the past this last mile is nothing, relative to everyday life, this is going to be the hardest mile of your life.
You so deserve the rewards of your efforts for so long, be patient, a mile is a long ways, (5,280 feet). Thats right 5000 feet you have to go. DO NOT mess it up now!! There is absolutely nothing your husband could do right now that would surprise you....there will be some more trials for you. If not you would be done with the race, right????
Come here to vent, think twice about everything. It is like going back to the beginning and things that happen now are just as shocking as they were in the beginning. This is all part of the last mile......you know how to run the last mile.... it is just like the miles before.....one foot in front of the other...one day at a time. You will finish this race. Prayers for you and your family.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
TF, Good for you for fixing the disposal( I think its a SuperWoman card you're wanting!) and going to H's work event-sounds like it was a bit out of your comfort zoneand a big unknown- but you did it and had a good time(and Yay!! for the kids!).
You have made it a very far,way down this path! I have no doubt you can make it to the end! You know what to do! Patience, PMA, Don't assume-beginner's mind...No expectations...Those lessons are serving and will serve you well! Hang in there honey!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
SA, KJ, MHL, and Mermaid - Thanks for your encouragement! It's nice to hear people are rooting. Know that I am rooting for everyone here as well!
I am trying to remain detached and keep my expectations way down there. Not doing too badly there.
MHL, thanks for the analogy about the marathon. It is so fitting. I know I am just weary (as all of us are). The last year and a half have been completely emotionally and physically exhausting (from lack of sleep - still suffer from insomnia, having to do everything on my own, etc.) and I am just tired. Now that it SEEMS like I am getting closer and closer to the finish line some days I feel like I just can't put one more foot in front of the other. Even with the positives. I'm trying to put this back into God's hands and back off, trusting Him because He has come through for me the past year and a half in pretty amazing ways.
Honestly, being invited to my H's work deal last week seemed like an impossibility that it would ever happen again. I am still kind of in shock. It was truly a gift though, because I got to see him in his element again acting like a normal person. All we have seen the past year and a half is when he is around us (mostly at home) and in all his MLC glory. I am grateful for that glimpse of him.
Thinking of finish line in terms of my H starting to come out of his MLC. For me, I definitely don't want to be "done" with working on me. I never want to stagnate the way I did before this journey gave me a kick in the butt!:)
We are all "work in progress" and so are our marriages...If we have learned anything from this so far then it should be that the work can't never stop.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Now that it SEEMS like I am getting closer and closer to the finish line some days I feel like I just can't put one more foot in front of the other. Even with the positives.
Originally Posted By: Trustingfaith
Thinking of finish line in terms of my H starting to come out of his MLC.
TF,
Don’t you start talking like this now.
I mean it.
NOW is when you need to really reach down into the depths of your soul and find that strength that is there.
Strength that you still don’t believe that you have.
Oh yes, my friend, you have grown, but the real test, the real marathon, the real growth start NOW, you are no where near the finish line.
Are you up to the challenge?
I think so…
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
