I didn't see her yesterday - surprise! I did go to the house to get my stuff. MIL was there. She was nice enough. I hugged her hello and goodbye. The whole house except the furniture is packed up and in the garage (house is in foreclosure). I do not own this house it's hers from previous M 5 years ago and a long story told upthread.
I did speak with her briefly night b4 last and she said would call me in the morning(yesterday) which she did bright and early she talked mostly about what was going on with her job search. I mostly just supported her saying well you need to trust your instincts, you have been very successful in your life based on your gut so you need to listen to it. etc. I cut the convo short saying I had to get ready to go.
After I went to house I texted her I had left and forgot to leave her Ipod player. She called me back and started to go into more detail about why she had packed up everything that she wanted to be procative in her life and not let everything just happen to her. I said that's a very good way to be. Said she sounded good and was doing good. She started to get into some of the drama going on and I cut the convo short again saying I had work to take care of.
She call backed again to tell me she forgot to tell me she ran into someboday while out. Wanted to talk more I said I had to go. I had work to do.
I didn't contact her after that at all. She seems to be wanting to engage based on yesterday but I am still thinking just to go dark until she contacts me again. We didn't talk R at all.
So does that seem right? If she contacts me again should I bring up my boundaries about A? Thoughts?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Got an email from W today that was a form letter notifying me she has changed her email address...
...To one that is not attached to my account. I had snooped in the past but I hadn't done it since the debacle with her idiot blond bimbo friend about 3 weeks ago.
... so we beat on, like boats against the current...
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Is she definitely moving in with her mother? When is she out of the house?
It is probably best that you can no longer access her email account..helps you further detach. The temptation is too great to not snoop..at least for me. Still no R talks? How are you holding up?
W called me again yesterday. She needed me to do something ...blah blah blah. We shared a few laughs. I told her I was looking for a place to live. She responded with very little interest like it didn't matter cause she didn't see herself being wherever I ended up.
I need to deliver my no contact speech. I am not sure what exactly to say but I ma thinking something like:
Is there any doubt in your mind that I desire to work on our M?
I have been putting a lot of energy toward that end and have had a lot of patience. I find that for my own emotional health, I cannot continue having contact with you while your energy is directed away from our M.
I will file an extension for our taxes but it is my intention to file separately. So you will be responsible for your income and taxes.
Lost any thoughts? Anybody else that has handled this?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Grit- I still think that you shouldn't provide her with an explanation of you going dark Just go dark. Start small 2 weeks. Just fall off the planet with her. If you are worried about the taxes..just file the extension and discuss this with her later. Don't ask her about her intentions. She cannot miss something that she hasn't lost.
