Trusting, I know that this has been extremely frustrating in the last few weeks, but you are in the home stretch. I always caution those who are this close and yet feel they are so far from the finish line, please be patient. This is the hardest part of the journey for the both of you. what a crystal ball would reveal could very well frustrate you all the more.
Trusting, put the focus back on to you and your family. Your h is still very fragile and needs to finish growing up. I know you want it over like yesterday, but he's still got a little ways to go.
Put your faith in the man upstairs and allow him to complete what needs to be done. Easter is tomorrow and it brings new beginnings, just like spring does. Plan something special and continue to look to the future...it shows much promise!
Happy Easter!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, I suppose sometimes I am forgetting to be patient. I am actually kind of conflicted right now.
My D is certainly excited about the Easter Bunny and is threatening to stay up and try to see him and wants to leave him a carrot. He may actually prefer some chocolate.:)
I don't feel like my focus has shifted more back to him, but I suppose it probably has. He looks like my H again, acts like himself so much more again (relaxed, even almost happy somtimes), is so much more like a "real" dad again, but he is not "my H." It is hard not to notice so many positive changes in him and make me hopeful.
I am working to shift back and make sure I am focusing where I need to.
Will be thinking about your questions. I have a lot to think about.
Thanks for the reminder about patience - I definitely need to keep hearing it from all of you. And you are right about the crystal ball. Sometimes it SEEMS like it would be easier to know, but probably not. I know had I had one when I was dating my H to see this far ahead, would I have ever married him? I would have missed out on our happy years, my kids . . .
I do want all this to be over, but I do recognize he still has a lot of work he needs to do to grow up.
I don't listen to country music, but I do remember a Garth Brooks song (The Dance) from years ago and the lyrics keep going through my head:
"And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd have had to miss the dance "
Okay, so just another post to kind of clarify. Yes, I suppose my focus has shifted more back to my H (I have caught myself stepping back into role as "wife" a little bit a couple times and have to be aware not to do that). BUT a lot of my turmoil now is actually within me. I am at that LBS point I never thought I would reach. Yes, I have been standing for my marriage and now I am seeing positives but NOW I am realizing how very much I have changed in the past year or so and how far behind my H is. I have matured a great deal - he has gone back to his teenage years. So if he "comes back", I realize how very difficult it will be and that kind of scares me.
My priorities, my goals, have changed so much. I want the man I am married to to be chasing after those same goals. I wonder if my H ever will . . .
I have been following your "story" off and on for some time --and I am delighted to know that your husband seems to be moving out of the MLC "tunnel". I totally understand your concerns about your husband's lack of maturity --and your desire for him to emotionally be there where you are now. I am SURE that should I ever be faced with a similar situation, I will feel much the same way.
However, I truly believe that God can grow these men up --can heal them --can restore them in ways that we cannot comprehend. I guess that's why we call it "faith" --because humanly speaking we find it hard if not impossible to see how anyone coming out of a difficult MLC can become a whole, mature, healed individual.
If God put you on this path, He will see you to its completion. May this be just the beginning of lots of good news from you!
