At this point nothing surprises me, @v1olin. In a curious way I find it dehumanizing -- treating me and everything I (presumably) once stood for as chattel. What am I worth? What was my time worth? I'm not saying don't bargain, I'm not saying divorce should just be a one-way payday, but I am saying...really? You're going to include $125 I moved from one account to another for 3 days and so "deprived" you of the interest? Really?
I never did take @Gypsy's advice, not completely (big shock, I know), so I've taken in e-mail to referring to my self, Bob Dole-like, as "Respondent."
So today there's this discussion of some thing or other for the kids that has to be paid for. And she asks Respondent to take care of it. And Respondent asks 3 times for STBX to write a simple, declarative sentence, saying that she agrees with Respondent paying for this thing (lest I get a letter in the year 2020 claiming I "owe" her from 2010, with interest!).
She won't -- "we'll just settle up at the end of the month."
What? "We'll just"??? A -- as Tonto said to the Lone Ranger, "What do you mean, 'we,' White Man?" B -- "just"?? We'll "just" settle up? You mean, "just" go, oh I guess I spent about 120 bucks on Themselves this month?
Drop the crap. If something simple can't be worked out the first time, then have the lawyers bang it out. She puts her energy in protecting her assets and responds to legalese. And face it.. she's knows how to push you over.
No need to retreat. No need to attack. Stand your ground. Know what the end goal is. Who you want to be when the divorce is over.
And as you yammer about all her bullying, what is the strategy/plan with your lawyer? Me, I regret that I didn't follow my instincts and get rid of the 'best' lawyer for one who watched out for my financial needs.
In CT.. and I assume other states, when there's a disparity in income the clever lawyers make sure their lower wage earning client pays only 30% rather than 50% of the children's medical and college needs. Even though I asked those same questions, my lawyer blew it off. I only found out later about that little tidbit.
She is playing you like an accordion right now. Don't talk to her. Keep it to email. If there's something you can't immediately work out, have the lawyer deal with it.
Oh yes.. and I only reply to your posts so the repeated pounding helps my fingernails grow stronger.
In December "her side" demanded "my side" put up or shut up -- she had to have a settlement offer by January 1, dammit!
On December 23 we put up.
On February 18 she replied. Every paragraph rejected. "Her side" produced a counter-proposal in which I miraculously owe her 75 large, even though she earns quadripple what I do.
Mandatory conference with the judge on May 20-something, so "my side" has been stalling on a reply.
Meanwhile, she's got another of her overseas f*ckfests scheduled for next week -- which means, naturally, that for the past week she's been Batsh*t Crazy, bombarding me with nastygrams full of references to her "loathing" and "contempt" and "burning hatred" for Smiley's Person hisself, a procedure that will be temporarily suspended while she's gone and then will kick back in for about a week to 10 days after her return. This, I have observed, seems to be the pattern.
On the other hand.... Part of her "counter-proposal" was a reduction in the amount of child support by roughly $1,000. This figure was based on an absurd computation of what my income "might be" (yeah, and if I lived among the clouds on the top of Candycane Mountain in the Kingdom of Daisies, I'd have a pony, too). So by dam if she didn't actually low-ball her most recent support check! Without so much as a howdyedo, let alone notification of the Mouthpiece.
So my guy got every bit as p*ssed as me and went to court.
Whoa, Nelly! All of a sudden in the past 24 hours her lawyer -- and Herself -- have been Sunshine and Roses! Goshomighteeogollygeewhillikers, how they'd like to cooperate! Hey, Mouthpiece Guy, can we, like, Totally Mega Cooperate?
It's so over-the-top that the Mouthpiece actually forwarded one of her lawyer's e-mails to me with the subject line: "Obsequious Much? LOL."
So that was a Total Smackdown, and that's where it stands right now.
And no, @Gypsy, I'm not responding to her nastygrams. I provide factual responses where required otherwise nada.
It's still hard to comprehend that these women that we spent decades with have become what they have...huh? It is for me. I'm involved in a really nasty thing also Smiley. I wouldn't wish this crap on Hitler!
The supreme act of courage is that of forgiving ourselves. - Kauffman
Anyway, I'm glad you showed up again. And I'm glad you're surviving!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
It's so over-the-top that the Mouthpiece actually forwarded one of her lawyer's e-mails to me with the subject line: "Obsequious Much? LOL."
Triggered a great memory for me, The Grandmother Song
Quote:
Be courteous, kind and forgiving, Be gentle and peaceful each day, Be warm and human and grateful, And have a good thing to say.
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike, Be witty and happy and wise, Be honest and love all your neighbors, Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus, Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent, Criticize things you don't know about, Be oblong and have your knees removed.
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive, Live in a swamp and be three dimensional, Put a live chicken in your underwear, Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.
O.K. everybody!
Be courteous, kind and forgiving, Be gentle and peaceful each day, Be warm and human and grateful, And have a good thing to say.
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike, (O.K. everybody on this!) Be witty and happy and wise, Be honest and love all your neighbors, Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant. (Let 'em hear you outside!)
Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus, (Everybody sing!) Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent, Criticize things you don't know about, Be oblong and have your knees removed.
(Ladies only) Be tasteless, rude, and offensive, (Now the men) Live in a swamp and be three dimensional, (Everybody) Put a live chicken in your underwear, Go into a closet and suck eggs.
"I'll take synonyms of "suck up" for $500 Alex."
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
It's so over-the-top that the Mouthpiece actually forwarded one of her lawyer's e-mails to me with the subject line: "Obsequious Much? LOL."
Triggered a great memory for me, The Grandmother Song
Quote:
Be courteous, kind and forgiving, Be gentle and peaceful each day, Be warm and human and grateful, And have a good thing to say.
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike, Be witty and happy and wise, Be honest and love all your neighbors, Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus, Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent, Criticize things you don't know about, Be oblong and have your knees removed.
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive, Live in a swamp and be three dimensional, Put a live chicken in your underwear, Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.
O.K. everybody!
Be courteous, kind and forgiving, Be gentle and peaceful each day, Be warm and human and grateful, And have a good thing to say.
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike, (O.K. everybody on this!) Be witty and happy and wise, Be honest and love all your neighbors, Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant. (Let 'em hear you outside!)
Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus, (Everybody sing!) Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent, Criticize things you don't know about, Be oblong and have your knees removed.
(Ladies only) Be tasteless, rude, and offensive, (Now the men) Live in a swamp and be three dimensional, (Everybody) Put a live chicken in your underwear, Go into a closet and suck eggs.
This figure was based on an absurd computation of what my income "might be" (yeah, and if I lived among the clouds on the top of Candycane Mountain in the Kingdom of Daisies, I'd have a pony, too).
Yeah, it's called "imputing income," and it IS perfectly legal. But it has to be quantified.
ARE you under-employed, SP?
There's only two ways I've heard of it being done:
1. They can generically impute 40 hrs/week x minimum wage to low-skilled, unemployed folks, without having to prove anything.
2. They can hire an Occupational Evaluator -- at their own expense -- to demonstrate to Hizzoner/Heronner that ol' SP's skills are worth "$X", and there are, in fact, jobs within your area PAYING "$X", and they are reasonably available. You know, the ol' infield-fly rule: has to be "catchable with ordinary effort."
Unless they can PROVE you are
a) qualified for higher-paying jobs; and
b) turning them down (or not trying to find them),
in my opinion, they don't have a case.
Puppy
P.S. Just pray to God Himself that they don't submit into evidence your WRITING, b/c it's worth gold.
