True. It actually depends on how many hours of service you can buy with one hour of work. My H is a L. One hour of his time can buy a lot of lawn mowing :-).
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
Okay, so I am trying very hard to dig deep for patience here. I see good stuff happening a lot. I am thinking my H is reconnecting with the kids truly now, not touch and go. He is very hands on with them when he is around (rather than just stepping in when he felt like it, it is more constant) and he is way more equal with them, rather than "favoring" S like he seemed to be before when he would make connections. He is making a conscious effort to be with them.
Financially, he seems to be getting a grip, at least somewhat.
That sense of entitlement that seemed to be always present for months has pretty much disappeared, at least as far as I can tell.
He is nice to me and in the past week or so has done several things simply to help me out (and no, I didn't ask for help), things he hasn't done in forever and forever. He is still not really reconnecting with me, though, and still keeps his life very separate from mine. I guess the spouse comes last. I admit it is sometimes hard to see him so normal with the kids (of course, I am relieved by that) and yet here I am, still left out.
I am trying to dig deep for patience. Outwardly, nothing has changed in the way I go about what I am doing and I still have zero expectations from him. YET I am getting my hopes up and trying so hard not to. This is MLC. He hasn't said a word about wanting to be part of the family again. Who knows what is going on in his mind. Inside sometimes I am screaming HURRY UP but don't want to rush things - I want him to finish.
He is still not really reconnecting with me, though, and still keeps his life very separate from mine. I guess the spouse comes last. I admit it is sometimes hard to see him so normal with the kids (of course, I am relieved by that) and yet here I am, still left out.
Yes the spouse comes last…
Originally Posted By: trustingfaith
I am trying to dig deep for patience. Outwardly, nothing has changed in the way I go about what I am doing and I still have zero expectations from him. YET I am getting my hopes up and trying so hard not to. This is MLC. He hasn't said a word about wanting to be part of the family again. Who knows what is going on in his mind. Inside sometimes I am screaming HURRY UP but don't want to rush things - I want him to finish.
Sigh. Patience, patience, patience.
Make that your mantra…
Don’t screw this up now sweetie, come here and vent…
You are close and are doing beautifully in all aspects…
((((((((hugs)))))))))))
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Close. . . but so far away.:) It is hard because it does start to bring up insecurities in me that I thought I had worked through - what if it WAS me and not his MLC? What if he doesn't want to reconnect with me? I know I would be fine no matter what, but . . .
And now that I am looking at good stuff, I am afraid I am going to screw it up. My changes are real and have stuck, and I think he sees that.
Seriously, the relief of seeing him acting like DAD again, truly. This from the man a year ago who said he didn't want that responsibility anymore.
We have got a ways to go but we are closer to the finish than to the start. I feel for you and can soooo relate! Keep coming here to vent it is fine with us. We want no penalties! You hear!
I will keep coming to vent. You are right, I think we are closer to the finish than the start. Things have changed so much here since the bomb for the better. I can't complain. I won't complain!
