It's stressful enough as it is, but with the added difficulties of this crap that shouldn't be happening it makes it even worse, but in a different way. This crap that's going on now is just wrong and unfair...not to mention costly. Still incredible anger on her part. Everything that I've worked for and built up over the years for US is now being assigned a monetary value, and her attorney is 'churning' because of the assets involved.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I hear you ant, and I am in exactly the same spot, her lawyer wants alimony, child support, me to pay for her housing, and utility bills, and then divide half of what is left of 'assets' and leave me holding the debt and bad investments. You can see I know where you are coming from. Anger is a natural reaction, and I have more than my share of it right now and trying to find a way to handle it. How we handle it is important. It seems completely unfair and it may well be, but ultimatley the courts will decide, the lawyers will get richer and there is not much we can do about it. I know I am supposed to be compasionate but I can't find it in me right now and that is something I had thought would never happen.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
While this sounds childish I think what I struggled with the most (and still do to an extent) is how "dictated to" I felt. I was told what was going to happen and that was that and I just had to follow along like it or not. Then you start piling on the financial crap and it just becomes maddening ON TOP of being painful.
It is very frustrating when considerable assets are at stake that took many, many years to build. It's not as if we happen to find somebody passing out money and that is how our assets came to be. We worked and saved for all of this and for me that is the hard part I guess.
A while back I was at the copy center for what seemed like the 100th time and I just felt like screaming. If I looked at one more statement, one more insurance booklet, one more ANYTHING I felt like I would just lose my mind.
I wish I had a magic remedy for you. All I can say is what I tell myself each day... "keep plugging along".
IWITW and CityGirl...I understand the frustration and the pain. I myself have been put into a position where I'm having to do things that are against my core values in order to protect myself and my ability to provide for my kids. I spent my life building up what we had, as far as assets go, and now I'm being financially torched. I'm really working hard at not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and doing my best. I'm ready for the weather here to get consistently better so I can get back outside on a regular basis and ride.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Finally got a break in the weather today and I took a 60 mile bicycle ride after I took the kids to school this morning. Guess what I thought about the whole time I was out there? NUTHIN'! It was so nice to get a reprieve from all this bad crap I've been having to deal with on a daily basis. I just enjoyed being outside, the sun on my back, and movin' on down the road! Medicinal it was.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
