i think my XH is saying he wishes now that he divorced me before getting the girlfirend that he hid for 2 years and then introduced as "friends" ...I guess what else would he say ....So that is his story and he is stickin to it....I should have divorced your Mom long ago....this is the gift that keeps on giving.....
Grace, Mine says the same thing. He told the kids that the only big mistake he made was not divorcing me before he dated OW----duh..... He tells all our close friends that too. He is so happy he finally found his soulmate.
I thought for sure that ex would have proposed at Valentines Day. I was expecting it since they went on a romantic cruise together. Kids would have mentioned it by now.
I often think about how I will react when that happens. I think it will hurt me like hell.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I too am always waiting to hear that my ex and ow are getting married or having a baby. I think it will hurt like hell, but not sure why, as I no longer want my ex back. I think it's just hard knowing you have been replaced.
I think it may just be worse than the divorce being final...I kept hearing that when they get their divorce they then have time to figure out that didnt make their problems go away and u have every hope against hope ( based on what you thought you had with them ) that they will wake up, tire of the OW, tire of all the lies and get a clue --- but when they remarry the same women they left you for, it feels like a plan they had all along.....and as far as the kids....mine didnt tell me.....long story but even after i found out about the engagement, I think there was effort put into my x to make me believe the wedding was going to be in the summer...who knows why.....it all feels like it doesnt matter and all of your married life previously feels like a lie....it all hits again...and u wonder ..am I normal??? what is wrong with me...why am I not one of those people that hear about OW and are kicking them to the curb...I truly never thought about this situation happening to us...but imagine if it had ....that would have been me....so here I am.....moving on and forward....thinking ...what happened ? Pretty sure I will never ever really get it....
I believe I will hurt in such a situation, too, but I believe that this is where we are all too focused on the X. It doesn't matter what they do--we cannot control it. It doesn't matter. They do not control our lives either.
We have to focus on building our own happinesses now. It is hard to have it hurt too much when our own lives are fulfilling and happy. So that is where I am focusing.
I've been tracing through my past, learning about myself and trying to figure out how to have a better future relationship, and I think this is truly a path to healing. I don't anticipate having a future R w/X, beyond what is essential, but I do want to have a positive future R with someone. I am not quite ready for that, but I am also feeling pretty happy with my life right now.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
i used to think about my x asking original ow to marry him.. really thought he would.. my sister used to say this.. WHY would he get married.. that means he would be held accountable...
it is just a thought. and I like you all think it would be/may be one of the most painful things that happen through all of this loss!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
I agree, I don't think I will ever get either. I have just accepted that I will not have the type of closure I wanted from ex, but I have to make my own closure.
The MLC situation is pretty insane, it does not make a whole lot of sense. I spent so much time trying to fit it into some sort of logic.... it did not work. It still does not.
I wonder how the OW can even function. I truly believe as time goes on and they see our prince charmings as the true men they are, some type of guilt has to set in and cause life long damage.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I'd like to give you an insight into the mlcer and the ow w/marriage. My xh married his "exit" affair partner. When I met her in 2000, she was slim, but not model slim, just average, hair was well kept, etc. Recently I caught a photo of her on the net and trust me, she'll never see 110 again. She is grossly over weight, hair has thinned out, she's had her hair cut in a style that I use to wear, glasses, exactly like the ones I use to wear a long time ago.
As for the xh, he is obese, not just grossly over weight, but obese, looks tired and sad, not one sparkle in the eyes and is constantly on the net. Continues to cry "poor me" to me when he touches down to earth periodically and plays the happy camper to all of his new friends. Oh, he still lies about everything.
There are several things they have in common: drinking, partying and the internet.
This is their happiness in life. They aren't functioning in the real world...they escape to fantasy island as soon as they can.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
although I have had no contact with my xh in afe months I heard from his mother he is a mess M to OW 6 months OW is a liar and MIL hates her MIL told xh to leave and not look back when he visited her in december so no XH is M to ow on unemployment heard he was drinking again ( He was a sober/recovering alcoholic 20 years in AA) so his new M obviously did not help him they rae on their own path some to destruction It seemas many of the OW do not have high enough standards to encourage spiritual growth in the MLC so they oick someone maybe on the teenage level also rebelling and together create what they will peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
