Here is my POV. She is now communicating with you even though it's in a negative way. She has all this resentment built up against you and it needs to come out. You need to be able to stand up against it, not get defensive, validate, support, call her on mind-reading all while remaining in control of yourself.
She's telling you that she doesn't believe you. She feels like you are still hurting her by telling lies (?). Even during divorce she wants your support and approval because she loves you way down in there. Why did she respond when you told her you loved her? If you respond you will have to put on the spew raincoat, never forget anger is good. There is not indifference in her response. What could you say that would let her know you hear her and that you do love her? Better how could you show her?
I would get Sandi to respond, I am asking the Greek to read.
You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I agree with Coach. She's communicating, and that's good. Interesting that she went right for this thing about the lies. Do you know what she's talking about?
Hi futureunknown. During one year of separation so far, including divorce proceedings which have been going on for 4 and 1/2 months, many things happen. There are lots of emotions at play...many things get said and done...on both sides. I didn't want any of it, but it has become a war...a war that nobody wins. Everything that she has said and done is fine, in her opinion. But anything that I have said or done has been, of course, wrong (lies)...in her opinion.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Yeah, I struggle with that too. Divorce is a war. How do you go to war with someone and simultaneously try to demonstrate a loving attitude? In my situation, the legal negotiations have destroyed nearly all the good will I've built up over the last year. She's suspicious of ulterior motives in nearly every interaction we have, and I admit, I'm suspicious too.
Hi ya Antlers! I saw you flagging me down. What's up?
Hi sandi, thanks for coming. Please go to page 22 of this thread to post #1934617 on 2/9/10 at 1:27 pm and read on from there to get caught up. I'd appreciate it... I need your input. Thank You.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Yeah, I struggle with that too. Divorce is a war. How do you go to war with someone and simultaneously try to demonstrate a loving attitude? In my situation, the legal negotiations have destroyed nearly all the good will I've built up over the last year. She's suspicious of ulterior motives in nearly every interaction we have, and I admit, I'm suspicious too.
I could've written this myself. The legal system is so adversarial that it creates situations where any good will present on either side is destroyed.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
