I am sorry you are going through this. I anticipate mine will marry OW soon, I am just waiting for the announcement. How are you coping?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Grace mine also M OWlast summer It was hard to see and hear about it it did bring me the gift of final closure anything is always possible but for this camper the wait is over peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Grace, I am so sorry. I have come to this wierd place where some days I just dont know what to say anymore. You guys have just gone through so very very much.
So thankful for this board.. so thankful.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
yes it is kind of weird how with all the horrible feelings there is also a freeing feeling. I really prayed hard about standing for the marriage got involved in a marriage reconcilation group....studied the Bible so hard on what it says about marriage, divorve and remarriage. I came to a place of understanding that even the most educated Bible scholars disagree about the remarriage and if it is ok to remarry and I dont mean for them the adultrey people thats pretty crustal clear...I mean of course they can be forgiven but I am clear you cant have adultrey and leave you wife with no repentance or sorrow or even to see if you can reconcile the marriage for me when he told me there was a problem she was already in the picture....and it surprised me that he coudlnt get back.....I understand so much more now about childhood issues..( mine had major ones and then our own tragedy...but I still believed...but yes it is freeing..I can tell you there is nothing in me that wants a man that has left his family and married the OW and trys to appear to everyone like he is an upstanding man.....there is no bigger turn off to me marring your mistress in I think a CHURCH EVEN and I think she attends regularly ( that is so hard for me to put my head around ---so many fakes out there )....I leave it with the Lord and will go forward loving my boys...what a journey but agree this brings closure..pretty swiftly actually after a long long road..... so I think I am good he isnt who I thought he was or who he used to be at least....I lost so much, he played me like a fiddle, financially and emotionally, some life lessons are hard..
Wow grace thanks for responding. Your ex and OW sound so much like mine. My ex pretends he is a devout Christian man. OW also talks to my children about "good Christian values", can you imagine? I have to fight my anger daily and pray and pray.
They are pretenders in this crazy world. What bothers me so much is that they are so good at it. People believe that he is a wonderful man.
He has never shown any real remorse and I don't think I will ever get any.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
My pastor is doing a series on about Christian World View and truly only 8 - 9 % of Christians have a Biblical view, meaning that is the percentage that look to the Bible when making life decisions. The sad part is all the churches out there doing second and 3rd marriages for the adultreous spouses. Although I heard they usually lie when questioned about why their marriage ended.
The hardest part is our kids and what this is teaching them....I think my boys know my X doesnt really rely on God for his direction. Its just so hard when the world is so hard and you want your family to be a safe place for you kids.....and divorce creates such a mess. We can only do the best we can to uphold the values and behaviours we want modeled to our kids and leave the rest with God.
I mean you H and OW even are living together...???? and playing that game...althoug really what does etting married mean to these kind of people??? the bible says if you leave your spouse and remarry another you are committing adultrey. I have heard people actually say yes, but then you ask to be forgiven....I am like what??????? ok Dear God I stole this mans wife and I am marrying her and by the way dumping my faithful wife of 22 years. Please God forgive me, all is good now????? I cant even say it without laughing......I guess confess your sin is good but the turn from it is twisted becuase they think if they marry they arent sinning ...but the bible is clear it says if you Marry after divorcing for any reason other than unfaithfullness you are committin adultrey....( then add a spouse wh you left who wanted to reconcile and do what ever to save the family -- and also a real decent person and loving wife and Mom..... Oh well like isnt fair I guess thats a lesson we can pass on to our kids...
Today my daughter called me at work after she got home from school. She is 15 and just started her first day of behind the wheel. Anyway, she said that she had been doing a lot of thinking lately and has decided that anyone who cheats on their spouse when they are married is a low-life. She said that she just realized that what I had went through had to be horrible and she was sorry I had to experience that in my life. One of her friends from drivers ed had just discovered that her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. She had been crying in the car about it. This situation had of course caused my daughter to think about what had happened to our family. --- out of the mouths of babes. What is so sad is that our children's lives are tainted and forever changed because of our ML'ers.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
yes- the reality of what our kids have been through makes them grow up sooner then they should.. but I also have to believe that GOD Himself will use this FOR the GOOD of all of us...and our kids are part of that!!! HOW? I dont know.
Bless you Trusting.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
