Trusting, as you know from my sitch it as been very hard with my son and his dad, they have been back in touch since July last year, I told son he is 15 years old now and is old enough to make his own decisions in life etc, regarding his dad, whenever dad asks son to do something he always tells him that he will have to ask me, i have told son he doesnt have to ask me unless he as a problem with what dad is asking him to do, I just think that all this crap makes the kids feel so awkward and its like they dont want to upset the apple cart so to speak, ie they dont want to cause problems and upset between us supposedly adults. yes also son comes and reports back to me, not so much about ex's wifey but he tells me about him and dad, I just feel sorry for the kids, after all the only thing they wanted was mum and dad to be together and have a happy childhood, I suppose in a way these kids still believe that mum and dad will get back together and they try to some extent to be matchmakers from heaven x
it is sad for our lkids as time goes on , it seems worse for them having to oiece together the information that the WAS is a totally unavailable parent and deficient in many ways and in reality these kids know they have only one parent who is there and thsat is sad especially for many years they had 2 but hopefully they will be able to mature without major scars again it is so out of our hands I worry more about them as time goes on as for us many of us will find our way they are left with the scars//maybe forever caused by their dads peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Well said both Mandy and Peace, I hate it that my ex's baggage had to affect my kids. It is so not fair and prior to the MLC, so much not what my ex would have wanted. He wanted so much better for his children. Now he just rationalizes that 1/2 of all families divorce. So sad.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, It has been such a long time since you have really talked w/X...do you think he has peeked out a bit? It seemed as if that was indeed the case....
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
He might be peeking out. I don't know. Are you suggesting I have contact with him?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Today my daughter told me that he has a message for me. The message is, "tell your mother that I think she is ugly"......
Delete the top line...
I tell you he is getting maturer by the day
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I'm so sorry, but I had to fall over laughing at his message. Instead of progressing, he's regressing. That message was suppose to push your buttons into reacting and then contacting him. Whatever you do, don't do it. You've been doing so well w/the nc.
They will do everything in their power to get us to respond/react to them. Children at play!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
