Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[Gardener]

antlers,
I forget if you are in IC or not. Might be helpful, especially with an IC who also does FC.

[Gardener]

And there's this to consider, too.

We messed up, plain and simple. It doesn't mean that we have to stay that way.

[iwantittowork]

Hey Ant, I don't think I misunderstood you, but also realize my post was a bit aggressive sounding, and that was not my intention.

I understand where you are at, but I really would hope you would work on your thoughts regarding this, such as:

Regret does shadow your life with a persistent, painful message of "what could have been".

Yes, understood, but it' recurring in your sitch and thoughts now, and you simply MUST get by this. Acknowledge that emotion, and then move past it, or it will permeate everything you do, your interaction with you stbxw and kids, etc.

I hope you understand where I am approaching this from. It's hard but liberating to move beyond it. Once you can, you can work from a place of health and happiness that will then be what permeates your relationships, etc.

[antlers]

My kids aren't receptive to serious talks with me. This separation and divorce has been a real b!tch so far, and it's getting worse. My kids know I love them, but they are at the age of puberty and they are flush with new hormones, new feelings, and new thoughts. Their mom and oldest daughter are taking advantage of that under the circumstances, and influencing the kids, especially youngest daughter, in a negative way against me. The kids are also manipulative at this age...and boy are they manipulating.
I wish they were receptive to things I have to say, but they aren't.

[antlers]

I got it a bunch after we were separated, and stayed with it for many months. I got stronger and was doing well, so I stopped when the insurance benefits ran out.

[antlers]

And I'm not staying that way. I'm better in so many ways. Doesn't change anything in the situation though. It gets worse daily.

[antlers]

I do honestly think I've 'regretted' enough! I agree with what you're saying. I gotta get past it.
I do understand your approach, and I so want to be liberated from the thoughts and feelings I have. I want so much what you describe.
There's just a huge amount of bad stuff going on right now, and things are really bad.

[antlers]

She's gonna try to take the kids away from me. I spent 4 hours today in the lawyers office looking at documents that she filled out, and she is lining her ducks up to take the kids from me. She paints a picture of how happy the kids are when with her and what a model parent she is. And she paints a dark picture of how unhappy the kids are with me and what a bad parent I am.
How on God's earth could someone you care about so much be so vindictive and intentionally inflict so much pain?
She's going after everything she can. Everything. I can't believe this is the woman I spent nearly 2 decades with!

[antlers]

'Yesterday is history. Tomorrow a mystery. Today is a gift.'

A friend sent me this by E-mail earlier today.

[WeldingGuy]

'Today is a gift.'

That's why its called the present!