BUNS, ABS, AND HEART OF STEEL #3

[TRUSTING]

What you said rings so true for me too. My ex just did not think his family loved him enough. It was quite pathetic and really when you think of it so immature. He thought OW and son could provide him with what is missing within.

[SoCo]

They do live in two worlds. Mind still follows me around at S's games like a puppy and will try to stand behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. Still calls me baby all the time, which pisses me off... and half the time still says ILY on the phone! I have asked him repeatedly not to do any of those things.

[TRUSTING]

I sure hopes this ends one day.

[ACJ]

I think the end starts when WE make the decision that it is time.

Although when I first came here I said I would stand for my M forever no matter what happened I came to realise more recently that actually that isn't a healthy way to live. My XH doesn't want me, appears not to like me, isn't prepared to hold a civil conversation with me and will call me names to my children as often as he can. Why would I want to be with a man like that?

I deserve better and I intend to find it.

[TRUSTING]

Your ex sounds exactly like mine.

Same wonderful qualities.

Yesterday ex came and picked up my older daughter. I never go to the door or show my face in any way. He put on this unbelieveable display of affection toward my 5 year-old. I have never seen anything like it, i.e. blowing kissies, holding his heart, winking, etc... Now keep in mind she is adopted and when I got her he told me to send her back or he would divorce me. He was nothing but ugly and cruel about her arrival, something I will never forget. He was extremely jealous of her. Ex does not know I witnessed this, maybe he was hoping I would but it was so animated I can't explain it.

[forward]

Trusting, I had similar comments about our little D. I hope your D never heard the exchanges.

However, overanimated or not, your XH is paying some positive attention to your D. I would simply focus on that, since, as some of the resources indicate, MLCers often are not very good parents. Focus on the positive here.

[TRUSTING]

Thanks for the advice, it is hard to find the positive, but I will try.

[forward]

Trusting...my little D screamed and cried when STBXH moved out--she was inconsolable.

While I will always believe my intentions were good, I notice that since I am not hovering, "encouraging," and essentially interfering with their relationship, it has, per the way Michelle describes, forced H to step up. Although he still does not offer to spend more time with her than is required of him, I just have some relief that they have a relationship.

[TRUSTING]

My ex is so inappropriate at times, I am not sure my daughter will benefit from that relationship. I do worry about my kids mental health, these guys are pretty irrational.

[TRUSTING]

Well it is official. Ex bought a house with OW and moved in last night. My daughter told me this afternoon. She stated she has a very big room and loves it. Ex spent $30,000 furnishing it. I knew this was coming. Hurts like hell.