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Joined: Jun 2007
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Yes. That's a good message. Or just "gag me with a spoon."

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Something I am learning the hard way. Feel free to write it down and refer to it when necessary.

"Sometimes loving someone means letting them go and sometimes letting someone go is loving yourself." Shawna Froelich smile


"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
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Kelly23 Offline OP
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I am really trying going! I did not leave the OW a message but we did have a REALLY rough night last night. I did not even go to bed until 5 this morning. All of the anger came barreling out. I really just wish he would move out so I could have MY space. Is that selfish?


M:38
H:42
T:20 M:19
D:18 S:17
MLC: Sometime in 2007
OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07
OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009
Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009
D final: 07/09/11
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 277
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Kelly23 Offline OP
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School has started back and I have been really busy. H is trying really hard to be kind and thoughtful but I am still keeping him at arm's length. I really do not think I can ever trust him again.


M:38
H:42
T:20 M:19
D:18 S:17
MLC: Sometime in 2007
OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07
OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009
Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009
D final: 07/09/11
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 277
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Kelly23 Offline OP
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Felling so lonely today that I cannot stop crying. Head is killing me. I really just want to go get back in the bed and try to sleep away the hurt.


M:38
H:42
T:20 M:19
D:18 S:17
MLC: Sometime in 2007
OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07
OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009
Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009
D final: 07/09/11
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,608
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I'm so sorry, Kelly. I have discovered that, for me, sitting in the house and wallowing is okay for awhile, then it wears on my nerves and I have to get out and do something. Gets me out of my head and the rut I've worn there. Don't know about where you live, but this afternoon is beautiful (altho a bit hot) here, and it would be a great day to take a walk in the woods or something. Nature always makes me feel better.


M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012
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Kelly23 Offline OP
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Thank you Hoosiermama. I took a nap and just woke. I am going to take your suggestion. I love shoes so I think a little shoe shopping is in order....and then a hot fudge sundae.
I think part of my mood is the fact that I am trying to come to grips with the trust issue. I am not making any headway. I am in a rut with it and cannot talk myself into trusting him. I think I am afraid there is no change for reconciliation and it is wearing on me hard today.


M:38
H:42
T:20 M:19
D:18 S:17
MLC: Sometime in 2007
OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07
OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009
Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009
D final: 07/09/11
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 277
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Kelly23 Offline OP
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I am afraid this will be another sleepless night. I am trying hard to get it all out of my head but can't.
How do I stop worrying about my marriage all the time and just live? I want to go to work and spend an entire day not thinking about all of the bad things that have happened in our marriage.


M:38
H:42
T:20 M:19
D:18 S:17
MLC: Sometime in 2007
OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07
OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009
Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009
D final: 07/09/11
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
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(((((Kelly)))))

Try the other order... just live, and you'll start worrying less about your marriage. Sometimes you'll have to force yourself to do it.

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Hey Kelly - I'm struggling with this too, the sleeping. Seems like the answer is exercise and GAL. Do stuff for you. Turn up the radio and sing. Go for a walk. Do a hobby. Go out with friends. Sometimes when I can't sleep I just focus on my breathing - meditation technique (not that I know that much about out) - and it helps quiet my mind. Two cents. smile

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