I want to quiet the voice in my head that tells me I can't do those things.
Quiet it? Why not kill that little sucker? Hunt it down and wear its head as a trophy to scare the next little voice that tries to say you can't do something?
BTW A, and good for you on all of this.
Now is the time for slow methodical and deliberate walking on the path your find yourself on.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
First off, Hey, Ian, it's WEDNESDAY! Where are ya, man?
Well, to be honest still recovering from a weekend of drinking, watching the likes of Elvis Costello, Los Lobos, George Clinton and the parliament Funkadelic, SNOOP DOGG, G-love and the special sauce, and Rise Against in the pouring rain. I have been sick and a bit hungover for about 4 days.
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Still feeling a little unsettled, but that is due to my major issue of overanalyzing everything to death.
Please go read what I posted to Trapt and change the names to match your sitch.......
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So, the plan for the next million days or so is to stop assuming.
And this my dear is what my main topic of discussion was going to be with you. I have meant to say this before to you because every post of yours that I was reading had some form or another of assumption or self fulfilling prophecy encased in it. Your tendency is to not be able to stay in the moment and focus on the task at hand. You seem to over analyze your actions to death rather than simply doing what you feel is right and dealing with the results as they come up.
I also want to make sure that you keep in mind the delicate pendulum of pursuit. Make sure it is going both ways evenly and that you are not always the one initiating. You have earned for him to be pursuing more to be honest. He should be the one suggesting things that the two of you can do together and initiating time together.
Do not lose yourself in the quest, that would be a horrible thing to lose.......
Well, to be honest still recovering from a weekend of drinking, watching the likes of Elvis Costello, Los Lobos, George Clinton and the parliament Funkadelic, SNOOP DOGG, G-love and the special sauce, and Rise Against in the pouring rain. I have been sick and a bit hungover for about 4 days.
Pshhht. What kind of excuse is this?
Well, I read your post to Trapt, and if i disregard the times you called him the P word (I try not to say that one, unless...well, nevermind) and the advice to grow a pair, I guess you're right, it's what I needed to hear.
Honestly, Ian, it is so hard for me to not let the littlest thing affect my attitude. But, I am very aware of what this has done for me, and I am trying very hard to change this about myself. I know that I assume way too many things. I am sure that what I am assuming is rarely even close to the truth. I take the worst case scenario to the next level at times! I am quite sure there is a way to stay aware (not too naive), yet not conjure up horrible ideas of what could happen.
I hear you on the pursuit thing, and I appreciate your concern. He needs to ask me out, I know this. I will wait and see this weekend if he brings up the bike shopping. It's not much, but it's a start. I need to be able to be happy Pam around him--- I haven't been that person in a long time. I just want to hang out, talk about nothing, and enjoy each other's company. I have been putting far too much weight on each interaction. I have lost myself in trying to be perfect.
Ian, thank you.
I really think I am on my way to something much better. And I am saying that, and meaning it, even though there is no guarantee that XH is included.
