Yes I am in a good mood. Yay, you! I start a new job on Monday. Now I have to go search where you referenced this. And you were worried???? Congrats!!! And have spent the past few days relaxing in the sunshine. Pouring rain here... And today I took D9 for her last test at the Children's Hospital. Fingers crossed for nothing but great news And last night I spoke to Pam who was a delightful Woman. Back at ya. And Matt got kicked off American Idol. As long as Danny is still around, it's all good. Wonder how he would feel about the text Jack suggested? And I found my brand of smokes for $3.35 a pack. The bargain hunter in me still can't condone this! And I ordered pizza for dinner. Now there's a good idea! I have nothing to complain about!!
Life is good, BND. Today I really, truly mean that. And, still no reply.
Hey Pam, I read through all of this to catch up and have much to say, but very little time. I am trying to get a weeks worth of schoolwork done in 3 days because of musicfest here in Memphis this weekend. I hope to catch you on the flip side at some point and maybe share some thoughts with you. You are in great hands with BND and Jack, so hang in there and stay positive. At the very latest I will catch up with you by Tuesday.
Not much going on here. Got a reply to my text, and I look at it as a positive. His reply makes sense to me, anyway.
XH is busy with his dad in town this weekend. Son is going there tomorrow to see his grandpa (no relationship there at all, never has been one), so I am gonna kill 'em with kindness.
The old CMNM would get all weird and touchy with XFIL in town. Now the new one! I am gonna send son with a homemade lemon meringue pie for X-FIL (his favorite) and a treat for XH. They are working hard, after all, and deserve a treat.
I don't expect to see any of them this weekend, and that is fine. When XFIL leaves, XH will call. This time I will listen all about the work they got done, instead of getting all weirded out by him improving his house.
I am not doing this as a scheme, mind you. I am doing it because I was wrong. And I don't want to be the person I was.
Well, I sent over the goodies yesterday (pie for the x-FIL, cookies for XH, and deviled eggs for both). I received a nice thank you call this afternoon (a message- I was in the shower).
Last night I went to a party and then we all made our way to a bar. Remembering last week when XH said he was "on call" for me when I was out, I sent him a text that said, "I'm sooooo drunk. I wish you were here!"
Within minutes he texted back and we went back and forth with some pretty steamy texts. He said if his dad wasn't there he'd be with me in no time.
Our texting ended at about 1 a.m. He called at about noon to thank me for the food and to tell me he hoped I was feeling o.k.
Nothing major to report. Just plugging away at erasing the memories of the old CMNM. Not that I was that bad, but I could have done many things differently.
So, I am getting out and doing things- but I am still working on repairing some things. I think it is best for me to maintain this mix. Indefinitely.
I think that I deserve an A from you, Jack. I know you are all about the sexy texts!
First off, Hey, Ian, it's WEDNESDAY! Where are ya, man?
Still feeling a little unsettled, but that is due to my major issue of overanalyzing everything to death. (No, really, Jack, I do that!)
FIL is gone- XH was here last night for a few hours. He was busy with our youngest, so I didn't talk to him a lot. He was on only 4 hours of sleep from the night before, so keeping my distance was the only wise thing to do.
During the times we did talk, I felt myself pushing a little too much at times (just too many comments that showed I was into this more than him), but I recognized it and knocked it off.
He just called a little bit ago on his way home from work. We talked for about 20 minutes, and I kept it as light as possible. We discussed getting together "soon," but no definite plans were made.
So, the plan for the next million days or so is to stop assuming. I can not live my life wondering what (or who) he is up to! We're gonna have to clear the air at some point--- I guess I will worry about that when the time comes, if it comes. I realize I have to keep up with these nice interactions if that time has any hope of materializing!
One good thing, we talked about him getting a bike (I am beginning bike training) so we can ride together. That would be great. Oh, also, I was getting ready to tell him about a great idea I had of something we could do together, when our son interrupted. As XH got ready to leave, he leaned in and said, "I want to hear about those plans." He correctly assumed that it was something that needed to be said in privacy...
OK, not yet, but, I am doing lots better. I have gotten here before, only to mess it up, so I am really trying to get a hold on my bad tendencies.
Good news: Last night at about 10:15 p.m. he called me "just to talk." We talked for 45 minutes, and it was really nice. We made plans to go get him a bike this weekend.I am REALLY excited about this. You see, this is something we would have never done before. I am sure he would have wanted to, but when it comes to sports/fitness, I am really intimidated by him, so I tend to not join him (knowing that he will just show me up, or I will just slow him down). These last few years have been all about me getting over irrational fears. That is why I am signed up for a triathalon this summer. I want to quiet the voice in my head that tells me I can't do those things.
Yes, I will slow him down on the bike ride(s), but I bet he won't mind as much as I tell myself he will. So, I will get over it.
I am just thrilled about this happening, and I can't believe that it is me doing it!!!!
Are ya even more proudly teary-eyed now, BND? SMOOCH!
