Okay now it's been 6 months of ?????

[Kenn]

New Thread???? Yippee!


Talked to a counselor tonight. At the end of the session she looked me in the eyes and said, "that will be a twenty dollar copay".

:).... daughter is with me this weekend! Life is good!

[Kenn]

PH....

try [e-mail]

[PortlandDad]

I'm right there with ya on the 6-months bandwagon. This ride sucks.

[pearlharbr]

Kenn, found your new thread and sent you email.

So are you getting anything out of IC? I'm contemplating starting up again because I think I still need guidance to work on some of my own issues.

[Kenn]

I'm right there with ya on the 6-months bandwagon. This ride sucks.

Yep!

Hi Port,

I have followed your thread. Yep it sucks to be here. Things were actually better for me at the three month point than now. Funny how that works. And your right about the ride. don't like it at all for many reasons.

Thanks for posting. I hope things start going better for you soon!

doesn't feel like 6 months though, does it

[Kenn]

Hi Pearl,

You have mail....

Oh and as far as the IC goes......hummm???

I first started going to her in the first two weeks of this breaking. She helped a lot to understand some of the dynamics of what was going on. Then as things progressed she kind of just became a person to talk to about this who already knew the details. I wasn't getting any real tools or help.

However, as it stands, my what my wife did to me was total crap in my eyes. I didn't deserve it at all and she has rationalized it all out to make herself look like an innocent victim. That being said I know she is just a person who found themself unhappy and tried to stop it. She just went about it in a really screwed up way. I have no desire to attack her or ever hurt her or her reputation.

I say some nasty and sarcastic things on this thread but that is because it is aynomous. My therapist gives me an opportunity to go in and talk about some of the ugliest things and say some stuff that would shock people that know us both without ever hurting her in the process.

So she helps there. As far as helping me work on stuff, I would need a different type of person. Like in ny other post I mentioned talking to the neighbors who are very close friends of mine but a second set of nieghbors were there. That happened because we were drinking and I have felt guilty every since. One of my biggest desires is to go to CO and start off with a clean slate. Just leave each other alone and forget we ever were together. We'll see how that works EH?

and she is from a Christian counseling service. So she in someways has hurt me. She talks about keeping my heart open in the event my wife ever changes her mind. I am finding out that I am not one of those people. I am very attracted to my wife. The only way to not let this bother me is to focus only on the negative stuff which closes the old heart. If I keep it open the stress is killing me. I have come to realize I am not one of those people who can deal with the middle.

Long answer huh? I guess that was mostly for me. She gives me an outlet after something builds up but that's about it.

I think there are others out there that would be of help though!

[Kenn]

So went to a party last night at a really good friend's house. He is one of the guys I use to work with. He has had issues with his marriage too. He calls me about every other day to check and see how I am doing. Helped a lot at first. Now it is just good to have friends to talk to about daily stuff.

Wife is out of town and I have daughter. It was a get together of about 30-40 people. About half of them were fro my old work place. It was good to see them all. It was a lot of fun. They had a big blow up slide, zip line and trampoline for kids, and just a wee bit alcohol for adults.

My daughter had a blast. Late in the eventing some people started dancing. She got a bigger kick out of that than anything. Most people took off around 10-11. Party started at 5. My buddy and I were that last ones up and spent a few hours on the deck where he had and outdoor fire place just talking about life. Really peaceful. At one point my daughter had woke up in the guest room and came out on the deck looking for me. She fell back asleep on my shoulder. Good time.

But it is really tough going to a get social event where you are the only single person in the room besides the 19 year old babysitter from next door LOL!

The other sad thing is that over 70% of the couples there were on their second relationships. What the h@$$ is wrong with this world?????????????

[kara]

Thanks for your post on my thread, Kenn and the encouraging words. They will help as I get my PMA together.

What is wrong with this world is that everything is disposable. Things don't work and we get rid of them, Marriages, cell phones, tvs. Disposable music too (they don't make it like they used to). Sometimes the things we have do work and we just see something new that we must have. Cynical? Maybe. But some element of truth nonetheless, I think

Especially with relationships. People think if you have to work at them it must not be right. That is so off the mark. Every relationship will need some effort especially after a long time.

Disposable generation. That's the problem.

Well, that's my two cents.

[Kenn]

Thanks Kara and you're welcome. I think there are a lot of people that admit they made mistakes in their relationships but I think very few really deserve to be here.

I really hope the best for you. AND am glad you stopped by

[MsMelancoly]

Hey Kenn, Sounds like you had a nice time at the party & oh & your D too.

I was totally thinking what Kara wrote, before reading her post. Also we are now in a world of quick fixes & wanting everything now. All growing up on fairy tales - I suppose. Dunno ...