Glad to hear it. Very little can happen with your relationship as long as OM is in the picture, so you might as well just focus on what you want to do. At some point you might want to consider that your wife is happily cheating on you, so isn't exactly "all that and a bag of chips". There are positives to not getting her back as well...keep that in mind, it will aid with detachment and moving forward. It may give you the attractiveness you need to make OM look less attractive.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Had dinner with the kids and we had a good time, laughing and joking around. Then went on a nice walk, then went grocery shopping and did some laundry.
Read some posts and now going to bed.
Forgot to mention the best part from last night: After I finished putting away the groceries S13 came into the kitchen and gave me a BIG hug then hugged his brother and we all stood there smiling. It was wonderful and I also felt sorry that W is missing out on this great time.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Glad to hear it. Very little can happen with your relationship as long as OM is in the picture, so you might as well just focus on what you want to do. At some point you might want to consider that your wife is happily cheating on you, so isn't exactly "all that and a bag of chips". There are positives to not getting her back as well...keep that in mind, it will aid with detachment and moving forward. It may give you the attractiveness you need to make OM look less attractive.
Yes, with OM around, I don't try to impress her or anything. Also, hard as it is to admit, I may not want her back, however, I'm not there yet. So, I am focusing on myself and the kids and enjoying life somewhat again. Since, she never really told me what the problems where in our M I have been reflecting and taking a deeper look inside to determine changes I want to make for myself. I'm using IC, support group, friends and family to help guide me when I need it. This board is a great resource as there are many knowledgeable people here who are really trying to help each other.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Glad to hear it. Very little can happen with your relationship as long as OM is in the picture, so you might as well just focus on what you want to do. At some point you might want to consider that your wife is happily cheating on you, so isn't exactly "all that and a bag of chips". There are positives to not getting her back as well...keep that in mind, it will aid with detachment and moving forward. It may give you the attractiveness you need to make OM look less attractive.
Yes, with OM around, I don't try to impress her or anything. Also, hard as it is to admit, I may not want her back, however, I'm not there yet. So, I am focusing on myself and the kids and enjoying life somewhat again. Since, she never really told me what the problems where in our M I have been reflecting and taking a deeper look inside to determine changes I want to make for myself. I'm using IC, support group, friends and family to help guide me when I need it. This board is a great resource as there are many knowledgeable people here who are really trying to help each other.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Last night went for a walk as my parents came over to cook us dinner. Then after we put the kids trophies up on the china cabinet and onto the new bookcase. The kids liked the way our dining room looks now and so do I.
Went out to lunch again for another friend from work and the sun is out today
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Grrrrr.... I'm just reading this wishing you could be at your son's game with about three young, sexy women sitting next to you (just friends from church or your divorce group, nothing more, of course!!!) so W could get a "dose" of her own medicine. Sadly, she'll never know what losing her family feels like until it happens, and I know you are so honest and straightforward that won't happen until it's too late.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Well, there are some sexy women in the support group I go to and they all love my baking But I would not bring them to show up W, I'd only bring them for myself (I don't want to, yet). W is obviously not thinking clearly and only about herself and NOT about her kids. S15 has games today, tomorrow and Saturday, so we'll see who shows up. It's hard to believe this happened as W went through this as a kid and never wanted her children to go through this pain but I guess once the A addiction hits she didn't care anymore. Also, her defense is she sees the kids more than her dad was around when she was young, I still think a parent needs to do more than chauffeur them around town to be an effective parent. She does have dinner with them on Wednesday nights but leaves right after to get back to OM.
Anyway, enough about her: Last night I was in a really good mood while walking over to my brother's house for dinner. Not sure why but it was a nice feeling. It was beautiful outside and the sun was very welcoming after all the rain we had. When I got home I baked brownies for my meeting on Friday and then signed myself and the kids up for a bike-a-thon that takes place on May 17th for American Cancer Society.
I'm doing a 10K walk this Sunday for March of Dimes with a bunch of co-workers downtown Chicago, should be a lot of fun. Ok, better get back to work. Thanks, {{{runningoutoftime}}} you are helping me immensely.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
Last night S15's team won their game 13-5, he had a single and triple and scored 2 runs. (W missed yesterday's game)
We got home and I made some burgers and then we baked cookies for my group meeting tonight. The people in this group wanted both brownies and cookies now that Lent is over.
Today is going fine and its near 80 and cannot wait to walk and then head over to my meeting tonight. The topic is Forgiveness and it should be good as we plan on doing a meditation to start the evening.
Talked with W for a few minutes this morning as she wanted to tell me that S13 needs some new pants and she wants to take him shopping this weekend, I said that is fine.
I talked with the kids last night (individually) and asked them how they are doing and if they miss having mom at home and both said fine and no they really don't miss her. I'm not sure how true this is but its kind of sad as they don't spend a whole lot of time with her. I know S15 realizes she made her own bed but I think S13 may think she is coming home eventually as we have not discussed getting a divorce yet. I do tell them that mom and dad still love you and I think that helps them a lot. Also, told them I miss having mom at home but I'm doing fine and we'll be ok.
Me-44 WAW-42 (ILYBNILWY) S-16 S-14 M-10/17/1992 T23 Met OM 10/10/08; Bomb 12/27/08; Moved in with OM 01/27/09 Me stronger and happier everyday!
You truly are handling situation so well. I'm glad my messages help, but I think you have a lot of strength, character, and are very level-headed so you will be fine no matter what. You are being a great dad, a super good role model, getting out and being a little social, attending support groups, and connecting with family. I think you are doing great things for yourself and you have a great attitude.
You know I'm joking about bringing the women to the game, but I will say sometimes when a W or H realizes their S is attractive, or interesting, to others... or just sees them having a great time with others (and this doesn't mean dating or having a relationship beyond friendship!), it can cause them to think about things a little differently.
However, I still would LOVE for your W to see you somewhere with a slew of beautiful women. Just the expression on her face.
Did you look up the carrot cake yet??? Okay, here's the recipe. Now everyone here reading this can add baking to their 180 or GAL and make some amazing carrot cake:
Cream Cheese Frosting Confectioners' sugar, for dusting top
Instructions 1. Preheat oven to 350F. Grease two 9-inch springform pans. 2. Sift flour, sugar, salt, baking soda and cinnamon into a bowl. Add oil, eggs and vanilla. Beat well. Fold in walnuts, coconut, carrots and pineapple. 3. Divide batter between prepared pans and smooth tops with a rubber spatula. Set on the middle rack of the oven and bake until edges have pulled away from sides and a cake tester inserted in center comes out clean, about 50 minutes. 4. Cool 15 minutes, then remove sides of pans and place layers still on pan bottoms on cake racks to cool completely, 3 hours. 5. Gently remove layers from pan bottoms and use Cream Cheese Frosting to fill cake and frost the sides. Dust top of cake with confectioners' sugar. Serves 10 to 12.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
