I'm here........

[saffie]

Sue,

I am really sorry to read about your niece. Having been in that dark place myself I know how horrid it is. The good thing though is that she is talking about it.......it's the one's that never say anything and that just act upon their feelings that are the real worry. She is in the right place at the moment.

((((((HUGS))))))))

[SueS]

Happy Friday!

My niece was discharged from her treatment center fairly quickly. She's still working through things, but being in there with other kids going through similar and/or worse situations really opened her eyes. She told us that she was the only one that had visitors and calls. She said that she realized the amount of love and support that she's fortunate to have with her friends and family and that she wants to live!

I've been alone since Wed. morning. D4 left with my parents to spend some time with my family. She and my family were so excited that she was able to go. She's been having a blast and it's only Friday. When D4 left, H also left for a few days to go see his family. Surprisingly, H has called each day. I talked to him last night for a few minutes when he was at one of our friend's house. H asked what I was doing and why I wasn't out whooping it up. I told him that I was going to do that on Sat. with a friend from work. He was surprised. My phone rang at 2:30 this morning. It was H. He talked to me for about 20 minutes. He was quiet. Not sure why he called. I guess I expected him to leave for home and not talk to me at all with the way he's acted lately.

Now on to me. I've been a bit lazy the past few days. I told myself that I'd do whatever I wanted to while the family was out of town.....and I have, which has been nothing the past 2 nights. I have a list of "TO DO" things for the next few days. I'm planning on going out with a friend on Sat. night. I miss D4 and H, but having this time to me has been good.

Work has been busy, so that's a good thing too.

Take care everyone!

SueS

[Yoyowife]

Suzy Q,
I'm glad to hear that your niece is doing better. I hate that she is going through this.

I'm glad you are enjoying some "me" time while your DD and H are gone. Get you some junk food, a good movie or book, and sleep late tomorrow! Stay in your jammies until it's time to go out with your friend and then have a great time.

Hugs, Yoyo

[LL44]

When you have a to do list, always relax first.

Hope you are having a good day. I think about you now that Rules Of Engagement has started. Its soooo funny!

[SueS]

Hi everyone-

Well, it was a nice, fun weekend. Now back to reality!

I relaxed, did some shopping, went out with friends. I went out with 2 co-workers on Saturday night. We went to this great dive bar. We started talking to 2 really great local guys and we all ended up hanging out the whole night. I started talking to one of them and he ended up being the nicest guy. He's a few years younger than myself, but has a 6 year old daughter. I tried to move things toward the fact that I'm married with a child, but turns out we have a ton in common, including bad relationships. Nothing happened, but it was so incredibly nice to have someone pay attention to me, to want to talk to me. At the end of the evening, he told me that he understood my situation and that he couldn't cross or push me to cross any lines. However, he smiled and told me that he's in the phone book if things don't work out. It made my eyes open to see that there could be a life for me if things don't work out.

So, H came home last night. I didn't expect him until sometime today, but he told me yesterday that he'd be taking off early from his dad's and coming home. He also called me several times while he was gone. That I did not expect at all. The way things have been and as cold as he'd become, I honestly expected him to take total advantage of the time away and not talk to me at all. He called me at 2:30 Sat. morning. He asked if I had fun, which I said I did. He started pushing me asking if anyone had hit on me or bought me drinks. I was honest and said yes. He got a little short and asked if anyone had tried to take me home. I told him that it wasn't a line that I was going to cross, that I'm still married and still trying to make things work for my family. He didn't say much after that.

I talked to a co-worker today and I think the two of us are going to join a running class. It's only 6 weeks, but I'd like to be able to do it with someone instead of pushing myself alone and hating it before I even really get started. It doesn't start until April, so we'll see how things go.

D4 is still with my parents and having a great time. My mom rented a room at a hotel with a pool and they're going to be there tomorrow. My nieces and some other friends will be joining them. I miss her. She told me last night that she misses me too but that she's okay. Made me smile. The other night I sent her a link to "In My Daughter's Eyes" so my mom could play it for her. I got a call a few minutes later and she was yelling into the phone.....Mom, that's our song....Thank you mommy.....You're the best mom ever!! Oh, she's my love!

Well, time to get back to work. Just a bit longer left and then it's on homeward.

Take care everyone!

[Rob1231]

Good for you, Sue, getting the work-out buddy. That really helps with the motivation - and exercise is terrific for the ol' PMA.

No doubt about it, YOUR prospects for a great life in the future are a heck of a lot better than H's, if he doesn't shape up his sorry, lame a$$. Don't you forget that! And it doesn't hurt for H to see that, too - he takes things waaaaay too much for granted.

Hugs!

[karen43]

No doubt about it, YOUR prospects for a great life in the future are a heck of a lot better than H's, if he doesn't shape up his sorry, lame a$$.

That is so true. So glad you were able to get out and see that for yourself. The workout friend sounds like a great idea. Exercise has been really important for me-helps me deal with the stress! Hope you're having a good day. Karen

[fightingirish]

Hey stranger...

So glad you were able to get some time alone!! See that just goes to show you that you are a desirable woman and that any man would be lucky to have you!!

Like rob said, your H better shape up!

Take care..

Tal

[SueS]

Hi Everyone-

It's been a few weeks since I've been on. D4 is now officially D5!! We had a party for her on Saturday and she had such a blast.

I spent a week after H came home in almost complete silence. H barely said anything to me for a whole week when he got back on the 15th of March. I was fed up by the end of the week and ended up packing a bag & heading to a friend's for the weekend to help her celebrate her 40th birthday. It was a last minute deal and H was surprised by it. Sure enough, the following week, he was talkative and we even went out for dinner twice and went shopping for D5's birthday present together. H was good over the weekend while my family was here, but has gotten quiet again.

I got a call from OW's H. We both feel as if we're just waiting for the other shoe to drop....feeling like them telling us it was over was a lie. We know they've been in contact, but in talking to him, have found very few instances when they might have had an opportunity to see each other. Still, that doesn't really matter to me if my H is still pouring out his heart and telling another woman that he loves her. Can't prove it, just a feeling. Those feelings are unfortunately usually right.

H's DUI case is over. I feel like it did nothing to jar him into reality. He came home from court on Monday and proceeded to have a couple of glasses of wine. This after having just gone through his trial and talking with a probation officer. I asked what the outcome was. Guilty. This next part just kills me.... He has 1-year probation, but never has to meet with anyone. He was told to abstain for 1 year from drinking alcohol or using any illegal substances, but he doesn't have to be tested. He has to attend 1 chemical abuse class and 1 meeting of a victims panel of some sort. Other than a fine....that's it!!! I wanted to take D5 to the circus on Saturday but H didn't want to go with us. Later he said, well I have to go to those stupid classes anyway. He feels they are a waste of time & money. I told him that he needs to admit that he's extremely lucky that he's never been caught before. I gave him a couple of examples and said that I had many more. He got angry and told me that he didn't want to hear it. I said, fine H, but you and I both know full well that this has been an issue for you and for our marriage. He just stared at the tv.

I got my butt up and worked out this morning for the first time in 2 weeks. I start my running class in less than 2 weeks. I'm very excited about that. The friend I was going to take the class with may be moving so she hasn't signed up yet. I'm still anxious to get started.

My niece is doing well. She was here over the weekend for D5's birthday. She wants to move here with me. She loves her family, but said that too much has happened back home due to the accident and all of her issues. She wants a new start. I'd love to have her but now isn't really a good time for me and it would be very hard on my sister.

Well, I should get busy again. Work is almost done and I have a few things left to finish up.

Thanks for listening....as always.

SueS

[SueS]

Hi everyone-

Just wanted to stop by to say hello and give a bit of an update.

Not a lot has changed other than the way I've been feeling. My unemployed H went on an 8 day vacation with his brother to Vegas and Los Angeles from 4/11-4/19. That left me trying to figure out what to do with D5. Thankfully schedules worked out just right. D5 and I went to my family for Easter and I stayed until Monday. D5 stayed with them and came home on Friday. My mom brought her in on her way to my cousin's baby shower. Otherwise, I'm not sure what I would have done. As is typical, H called at least once (if not twice) a day from his vacation to tell me what he was up to, ask if I'd spoken with D5 (yes he did keep in touch with her) and to ask what I was up to. Then, once he got home, he shut down and got cold AGAIN.

I'm not sure what to think. I came to a realization the other night. It was honestly one of those - BAM - WOW - kind of deals. I was in the kitchen and I realized that despite the fact that my marriage is still in the same spot it was a year ago, I am not. I am more confident. I am more involved in things. I take more chances. I take better care of myself. See, I started making more "dates" with friends. I started making more "dates" for D5 and I to spend with her best friend & her mom. I started a running class last week. This was my second week. Although I was dead tired afterward.....I DID IT. I've gotten up 2-3 times a week to go run. I've found myself just doing things instead of thinking and re-thinking everything that I do or how it will affect H. H's moods can tend to affect me from time to time but I don't walk on eggshells around him anymore. A wise woman from the boards told me that I shouldn't have to deal with his moods. I know she's right. I'm just happy that they don't affect me anymore. I'll eventually get to the point where I'm more vocal about what he can do with his moods!! I know I will. The thoughts have been in my mind. They just haven't made it out of my mouth yet.

H goes to his classes for his DUI this weekend. He thinks they are a waste of time & money. I know he'll be the one sitting there thinking that he shouldn't be there....that he doesn't have a problem. I'll tell him to please stop and consider how it's affected us and his family over the years and I'll leave it at that.

I believe that H is still in close contact with OW, although I can't prove it at this time. OW's H called me a few weeks ago and he has the same suspicions. She has told him that she has no intentions of working on their M, although she also has made no moves or has no intentions at this time of moving out.

Well, work is over and I'm ready to go home.

Have a great evening/day!

SueS