Saving Military Marriage - 3

[jaguilar]

Hey Fit,

How is it going? What's going on today? Talk me...

[FitChik]

Kevin,

I agree with you. I definitely will not be ready to date for a long time so it isn't an issue for me! I need a lot of healing time. Just makes me wonder how my H is able to move on so quick....

Thanks Jag. As with yourself, I have no question what is right for me. I am still in pieces right now. I don't think I'm up for the dating market :-)

[jaguilar]

I know it's tough but you shouldn't worry about what you can't control. Like 25 said, you can pray for your H and be the better person in the long run. Yea, short term it sucks but down the road this will only make you stronger. I know what you mean, thinking about your H and the OW. But with time, it will pass.

How is the hiking training coming along? I'm up to running 4 miles a day now. I can't imagine doing it with a 30 lb backpack.

[FitChik]

I had a busy few days! I am taking a great emergency medicine course but the days are long! I came home last night and wiped out by 8:00 :-).

I came up with a new middle road solution that made me feel a lot better today. My dilemma is do I push to get the D finalized before I deploy or put a military act into effect that allows everything to be delayed until after I get back. Both thoughts left my mind uneasy. I would like our M to work out and will always have some hope.... but realize it would be a miracle sent by up above at this point and have to be realistic.

But the wheels upstairs finally started turning.... and I thought I could probably get a L to handle my case and let it play out the way it's going to without any interventions by me. Seems silly b/c the end result is still the same. But I would have a hard time forcing things through quickly to get a D finalized before I leave. I could change my mind but do not think I'll be comfortable doing that. I feel a lot of relief that I have a third option.

Otherwise, nothing to note. I got an e-mail back from my H saying he's doing fine and been busy... Very friendly and informative! He has been very withdrawn ever since he told a huge, nasty fabrication several weeks ago. I wonder why that is... :-)

[FitChik]

Yeah, I am coming to terms with it all. I will continue to pray for my H. I know I am already so much stronger from this. I know it will benefit me some way in the future.

And I wish I was running 4 miles right now!! I go through running spurts where I love it and I have no desire to run.

Hiking is going good. I feel silly b/c I am starting to wear a small, weighted pack while I do cardio inside on the treadmill - walk on a steep grade. I'm sure I look goofy but don't really care. It's early in the morning and I know Rainier is much, much bigger than my pride..... I'm not going to fight mother nature! I hope to get a good hike in this weekend.

[jaguilar]

That's good that you keep busy.

That's a tough on. Decding how top pursue it, its easy for all of us to tell you just do it, no kids, haven't been married very long. But we're not in your shoes, we weren't there for the dates, engagement and so on. Did you talk to an L or a JAG yet? If anything, start the process and just make sure if it does come down to a D, then at least you want to make sure you're not going to get screwed at the end.

Again, it's gonna be tough to try and do MC while the both of you are deployed too.

I read that trhead with all the differ stories. I was thinking to myself that something wasn't right.

[FitChik]

It's hard for me too honestly! B/c I have the same thoughts.... no kids, not married long.... I wish I could just let it go and say the heck with it! But I want to stick to my commitment through to the end of the M regardless what my H does. I can still honor our vows despite his actions.

I have talked to both. I am going to consult a L again probably this week or next week and discuss options with her. If nothing else, I want to make sure I'm protected and have the weight of the legal process lifted off me while I'm deployed. I want someone there w/o worrying about everything while away.