Just curious, do you pray for His will, or saving the M? I wonder if asking FOR THE M is sometimes a bit like telling God what to do. Besides, there is free will and your h has exercised his...for better or for WORSE...
I have a gf who's h left her over 2 years ago and the DIV was final 14 months ago and he told her he does not want to speak to her or see her, etc. And she prays EVERY DAY that they'll reconcile. Aside from the cynical part of me that thinks, "get a grip and move on..." b/c how clear can her ex h be? But the other part of me thinks, "why not ask God for guidance and strength, instead of giving Him a "to do" list?
Know what i mean?
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I pray for His will and clarity either way... depends on the day. Some days I pray for our M to be strengthen and healed if it's His will. Some days I can only cry out "I want Your will to be done". I ask for God's will and truth to come out of our M, and not the will of myself or my H.
I definitely do not believe in giving God a "to do" list! But He does say we should ask our requests with expectation. He knows our thoughts and wants anyway without having to tell Him!
I have struggled with this topic a lot. How do you decifer between God's will and our own free will?
Maybe our free will to M was not in God's plan??? Or maybe our M was God's plan and my H filing for D was by his own free will. My mind has run circles around this......
Any thoughts??
Last edited by FitChik; 04/20/0902:47 AM.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I pray for His will and clarity either way... depends on the day. Some days I pray for our M to be strengthen and healed if it's His will. Some days I can only cry out "I want Your will to be done". I ask for God's will and truth to come out of our M, and not the will of myself or my H.
I definitely do not believe in giving God a "to do" list! But He does say we should ask our requests with expectation. He knows our thoughts and wants anyway without having to tell Him!
So why do we ask our requests if he already knows what we need and want? I mean if we are open to HIM...what's with us getting so specific? I also struggle with this. One day, instead of analyzing everything so much, I'd just say "Please..." at the start of each day and each night, I'd say "thanks"..and left it at that for some time....Kept it simple and now I KNOW that when our journey here on earth comes to an end, that we WILL be happier having followed His will, so that in reality, "our will" for "our happiness" matches HIS forus. Not just b/c it's from God, but b/c doing His will and being happy are one and the same...at some point at least. Sure, some days I feel that His will was the harder route to take & I wasn't sure it would make ME happy but out of duty, I'd do it...but now I believe that even now, doing the right thing is what gives me peace at this time, not later.
I have struggled with this topic a lot. How do you decifer between God's will and our own free will? See above. Oh, and here' the other "tip" I have. When I come to a cross roads about what to do and there are plausible arguments for each choice I Make, I say choose the more difficult road. if the easier path were the "Right" one, you would not be struggling with it. It'd be a non-issue.
Maybe our free will to M was not in God's plan??? Or maybe our M was God's plan and my H filing for D was by his own free will. My mind has run circles around this......
Any thoughts??
See above..and sure, maybe ALL of it was God's will. But that gets us off the hook from free will doesn't it? There's some sort of balance in the universe but St.Paul talks about it too. I do think there comes a time when either God or free will belonging to the WAS tells the LBSer...move on, it's over.... I have a gf who I may have discussed with you before. Her h left her for OW a few years ago, and the div was final over a year ago and she prays FOR reconciliation every day AND has not dated anyone nor will she b/c "God hates divorce"....yeah, i agree. But does He want her to sit around watiting for her h? I think that choice is EASIER for her, than moving on, so she can convince herself that's God's will....to sit and do nothing but hang on to hope that is not based on ANY empirical data and flies in the face of his comments to her to "move on and stay away from [him]" AND she can call that "Faith"...but is it? I honestly don't know. But I doubt it. (Doubts...okay, call me doubting Thomas...whatever...food for thought) Like I said though, remember about which path to choose and whether the more difficult one might not be the "rightER" one...
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
So why do we ask our requests if he already knows what we need and want? I mean if we are open to HIM...what's with us getting so specific? I also struggle with this. One day, instead of analyzing everything so much, I'd just say "Please..." at the start of each day and each night, I'd say "thanks"..and left it at that for some time....Kept it simple and now I KNOW that when our journey here on earth comes to an end, that we WILL be happier having followed His will, so that in reality, "our will" for "our happiness" matches HIS forus. Not just b/c it's from God, but b/c doing His will and being happy are one and the same...at some point at least. Sure, some days I feel that His will was the harder route to take & I wasn't sure it would make ME happy but out of duty, I'd do it...but now I believe that even now, doing the right thing is what gives me peace at this time, not later. [/color]
I have struggled with this topic a lot. How do you decifer between God's will and our own free will? See above. Oh, and here' the other "tip" I have. When I come to a cross roads about what to do and there are plausible arguments for each choice I Make, I say choose the more difficult road. if the easier path were the "Right" one, you would not be struggling with it. It'd be a non-issue.
Maybe our free will to M was not in God's plan??? Or maybe our M was God's plan and my H filing for D was by his own free will. My mind has run circles around this......
Any thoughts??
See above..and sure, maybe ALL of it was God's will. But that gets us off the hook from free will doesn't it? There's some sort of balance in the universe but St.Paul talks about it too. I do think there comes a time when either God or free will belonging to the WAS tells the LBSer...move on, it's over.... I have a gf who I may have discussed with you before. Her h left her for OW a few years ago, and the div was final over a year ago and she prays FOR reconciliation every day AND has not dated anyone nor will she b/c "God hates divorce"....yeah, i agree. But does He want her to sit around watiting for her h? I think that choice is EASIER for her, than moving on, so she can convince herself that's God's will....to sit and do nothing but hang on to hope that is not based on ANY empirical data and flies in the face of his comments to her to "move on and stay away from [him]" AND she can call that "Faith"...but is it? I honestly don't know. But I doubt it. (Doubts...okay, call me doubting Thomas...whatever...food for thought) Like I said though, remember about which path to choose and whether the more difficult one might not be the "rightER" one...
(( j ))
Lots to think about..... I do think God's will is not always the easy path. I agree with you know you're in God's will be the peace you feel. I was so torn & unsure what to do when my H filed for D and how to proceed... but I kept feeling a nudge in my heart to stand for our M and when I finally decided to take that path, I had so much peace. I know for now that is what God has called me to do..... but that could change tomorrow or next month or next year?? Through constant prayer and reading his word He will continue to reveal Himself to me and what He desires me to do.
I also think following God's will gives us happiness. It may not always be easy but we will be rewarded. For instance, joining the Army after school has been a wild adventure, as will deploying to Afghanistan. It will be difficult but I am sure God wanted to me here right now and I am content knowing I am living out His will for my life in this moment.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
ask yourself if choosing to "stand for your M" is the same thing as doing nothing...If it is, then are you sure it's His will? Just asking, okay? Just food for thought.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
You always have good food for thought. I am continuing to heal & improve my own life while standing. I know it is what I am to do for now and I have no idea how long God intends me to do it for. I will only be in the states another few months and will be gone for a year. Will our D be done with before I leave? I have no idea?? Or will I keep standing while deployed? Right now I haven't a clue...... I am taking it day by day.
Having a tough night. I keep getting visions of my H with other W. It has begun to really bother me this week. I am sure he is involved with W overseas. It's difficult having him so far away and not having a clue what is really going on. I thought I had come to terms with him dating other W (or whatever you call it!) but obviously have not!
I guess it's b/c I do not plan to date until our M is officially over (nor could I) and it hurts he can plunge full steam ahead! I understand dating while separated is considered "normal" by some and many in my generation... but I have always been more "old fashioned" and conservative.... or use my moral conscious?? :-)
These thoughts are driving me crazy tonight! I hope by journaling I will finally be able to hit the sack....
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I don't think its good to date when you are separated. I think its rotten. But I also think affairs are rotten. I feel like you. I am not daing and being faithful even though my W is dating and sleeping with someone. Its hard being the honorable one when that is being thrown in your face.
I commend you for it. I commend everyone on here for it. So many times I think why am I still waiting. Because I have morals. Its not right. So I don't. Plus I keep thinking if I don't date, maybe God will work on her heart.
I guess its morals, faith, some wishful and hopeful thinking, etc.
You are doing good. I'm proud of you. Don't think about the visions. I did and it eats you alive if you let it. I actually read in detail of my W's affairs and it has taken me a while to quit thinking about the visions. Even now and then I do, but not nearly as frequently as earlier on. That will take a bit of time. When you start to have them, recognize it and think of something else as quick as you can. It will help. They will start to be less and less with some time if you practice.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Do you what you think is right. I got that advice from someone too. They told me to date, I didn't and haven't. That's a stupid risk I'm not willing to take.
Me - 39 W - 39 D - 11 D - 8 S - 5 Served - 04/14/09 Temporary Court Orders - 04/27/09
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
