I'm not sure if xh will ever self destruct, ow is too much of a cushion. But you know what? There was a time I so wanted him to hit bottom, but now I don't care as much.
Yesterday I had my s8's birthday party. We had a good time. Of course xh always has to call in the middle of it to see if they are having a good time. What an ass! I don't do that to him when he has parties for them.
Anyway, this time he called an hour before the party so I technically wasn't interrupted. I didn't answer the phone either, I just listened to his stupid message. After the party was over I told S8 that his father called if he would like to call him back. S8 said "I will call him later". However, one of his friends came back to play at our house after so he didn't call. JA called the house again and this time I answered. He asked me if they had a good time. I said "Of course, WE had a GREAT time". He asked to speak to the boys but I said they had a friend over and asked him to call back later. He said "Well just see if S8 wants to talk real quick". So I asked S8 and of course he said no, so then JA said "well ask S5" I said "JA, they are playing with a friend right now, they do not want to stop to talk to their father".
He said "alright" in a disappointed way.
And that was that.
I am waiting for S8 to come home from another birthday party and then we are going to do something nice outside on this lovely day. Hope everyone has a nice day! Sorry for ramblin'!
You are doing beautifully! I'm so happy to hear that your son had a delightful birthday! You did the right thing by not picking up the phone before the party. What an @ss. He doesn't want to be part of the family and yet, he wants to drop a quarter and disrupt the fun for your family.
Ms. H, you did great! Do enjoy the beautiful weather for it will be turning cold again by the end of the week. It's almost like late spring here today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I remember when I had to keep the house 'show' ready at a moments notice. At the same time I had started working fulltime after being a SAHM for many years, and I was also trying to pack up/clean out what I could, PLUS all the outside maintenance. In other words, I was doing it all.
We only have so much that we can handle without something slipping our mind. I'm so sorry how you feel, but totally understand. We mothers are really good at the self-guilt game. Your son may have been disappointed, but he still loves you with all his heart...and you'll have other special moments you'll be able to share with him.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
I agree w/Creed, please do not beat yourself up. You have a full plate to deal w, while JA doesn't. You are doing the best you can and look, you did speak to your little boy and explained the situation.
It will get better in time. You will find that once everything is settled...you'll have more time to do all of the things that you want to do. Right now, life is demanding an awful lot of your time and you are attempting to sell a home w/very little notice as to when the interested shoppers are coming. It's understandable to forget things. We all do it!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Ms. H. I've been on the newcomers board but have moved over here. You and your xh ages and the kids ages are almost identical to mine. I have a s8 and d 3 1/2. How are your kids handling the d? A d is coming down the pipe for us, and the kids are trying to get used to mom and dad living apart. Of course, s8 understands way more than d3. Her confusion just breaks my heart. Any tips on helping her understand? I'm glad you had fun for your son's birthday.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
You have a great attitude and please do not be so hard on yourself. You have been thru so much........
You will be okay..........and you are doing great!
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
ok..first off, don't beat yourself up over forgetting to meet S8 at his first reconciliation. It is not the end of the world!!! Secondly...YOU ROCK with the new 'tude!! I am loving it!
You are a strong, independent woman who has made it through a terrible time in your life! I am celebrating with you!
There is no room in this journey to beat yourself up. The Ml'ers do it for us.
Your actions were not intentional.
Remember, most people could not handle what you are doing. You are an exceptional human being, with an exceptionally difficult Ml'er.
Snodderly,
Thank you for that compliment.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
