In a "normal" situation you would be absolutely correct. There should be accountability and consequences for the actions and the deceit and all of the other BS.
But MLC is not normal.
To be perfectly honest with you, trust is huge with me. When my Husband came home I did not trust him at all. I remained very detached for quite a long time.
I too am a realist believe it or not....and the reality of the situation was this....
I had been Married to this Man for over 20 years. We had 8 children, a dog and a Mortgage.
He betrayed my trust, turned my world upside down, screwed up my kids, spent all of our money, the list goes on.
But on the flip side, this was the Man I had promised to love and grow old with, the Man that I promised to love in good times and in bad times.
He chose to leave, but he also chose to come home. And for me it takes more guts to admit you are wrong and come home then it does to run away from your family.
It took a long time for him to be able to tell me how badly he screwed up. His apology was heartfelt. The words were not empty.
Our Marriage has been alot of hard work and tears, but we are also not the same people anymore. We both changed.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I'm glad you put that 'yet' at the end of your sentence. I thought I was going to have to lecture you about faith.
Some of our circumstances haven't changed much. I know mine hasn't. Reading GG post .... it's hard not to have a small smile on your face, even though we've all learned not to have any expectations. Who knows what lies ahead...none of us do...YET.
Be well.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
In a "normal" situation you would be absolutely correct. There should be accountability and consequences for the actions and the deceit and all of the other BS.
But MLC is not normal.
To be perfectly honest with you, trust is huge with me. When my Husband came home I did not trust him at all. I remained very detached for quite a long time.
I too am a realist believe it or not....and the reality of the situation was this....
I had been Married to this Man for over 20 years. We had 8 children, a dog and a Mortgage.
He betrayed my trust, turned my world upside down, screwed up my kids, spent all of our money, the list goes on.
But on the flip side, this was the Man I had promised to love and grow old with, the Man that I promised to love in good times and in bad times.
He chose to leave, but he also chose to come home. And for me it takes more guts to admit you are wrong and come home then it does to run away from your family.
It took a long time for him to be able to tell me how badly he screwed up. His apology was heartfelt. The words were not empty.
Our Marriage has been alot of hard work and tears, but we are also not the same people anymore. We both changed.
BND, I truly respect and admire you for all that you have overcome, I mean that sincerely!! I guess you and I will have to agree to disagree on part of the MLC thing! I am happy for you that you have a new marriage, committment, and a new life! I guess that sometimes I come accross as being resentfull, bitter, and the like. I can promise everyone that nothing could be further from the truth. I have a new relationship, and God forgive me, new love! LOL I held my breath when I made that last statement! Anyway, I have just seen so much hurt done by these people that it truly does break my heart to see people spend years hoping they will come back and they don't. Its truly a waste of life for someone who doesn't care. Anyway, that's more of my .02 worth! BND, I'm still going to make you do some squats!! LOL
Great to see you too! I've been occasionally checking in, but have only found BND and once in a while, Snodderly, but that seems to be all the names I recognized.
As for my Faith, it certainly has been shaken, I seem to be at odds with all that is going on. I've hit the end of my endurance, my strength has become my weakness. I just don't understand how my situation has continued in such a manner, I can no longer watch my children suffer, both now clearly depressed.
Dick has become ruthless, not caring how much pain he causes the children, as long as he continues to appear (to the court) as the victim, along with the always concerned and caring Father. With everything he has done, he has successfully been able to focus the blame on me, as IF I had been the one who has done the things he has done.
Right now, Dick has residential custody, although, he doesn't have the children in California with him, he left them behind in Kansas, with two separate families... not paying any support, and now the court believes I am unstable, both emotionally and financially..... oh, the best part, he was able to read my psychological evaluation, then while on the stand, stated it read that I was a pathological liar.
I have two hours, two days a week where I'm able to visit the children, have the court services people inspect my house if I am to bring them to my home, and IF I want to see them any other time, I have to be supervised..... do you know what it's like to see your children, but not be able to hug them?
No, I don't have any happy ending here... although my Son is counting down the days until he is 18, which 7 months away. My Daughter has another year after that, but her relationship with her Father is a bit better than my Son's.... but of course, she hasn't lived with him, like my Son has, she hasn't seen him in action like he has. My Son says he won't have anything to do with him once he turns 18... he also plans on calling Dick one minute after midnight on his 18th birthday and telling Dick what he thinks of him.... LOL.
Well... I have to run. Lots of things to accomplish today.
Great to see you again... you take care!
Blessings,
Love, Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
BNd....I have a question for you....Did your H ever tell you that you need to move on, that he wanted you to start dating, that he would walk up to the guy and shake his hand? I was floored when my H said this yesterday...
H says he has found the life he wanted, he more sensitive now, and actually talks his feelings out....I've never felt more like it is truly over than I did yesterday....I'm so down today....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
"most people regardless of the concequeces are not willing to admit they did wrong"
BH, You've never had anyone say "I'm sorry?"
We all have opportunities in our lives to apologize. Do you remember how hard it was for YOU to apologize to someone? How relieved you were when they forgave you?
Sometimes people talk around an actual apology but they're actually kind of apologizing. If coaxed and asked directly and kindly, yes, I believe people will say they are wrong in those circumstances. I think that seems to be the case for a lot of these MLCers. I see a lot of situations on these where the MLCer admits that things aren't so great, where they seem to be feeling out the LBS to see what the response is going to be and if it is safe to ask for forgiveness.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Breton, have I had anyone apologize to me? Sure! Not over anything big, small things. I have had some major wrongs done to me by some people and have never gotten anything. I have seen others suffer at the hands of others terribly and never get an apology or nothing. I guess that is human nature, but it isn't my nature. Breton, you asked me if I remembered how hard it was for me to apologize? About 3 years ago, the same time that my XW moved out, the boss at my work tried to get rid of me. It was a political move, everyone knows it, but he tried it nonetheless. Anyway, I ended up getting rid of him! LOL I should say the Board did, I work in education. I suspected a Board Employee of helping him try to ge rid of me, had some good circumstancial evidence to support it. To make a long story short, I wouldn't speak to her, undercut her, made her life a living hell. I found evidence the other day that exonerated this woman of any wrong doing against me. I went IMMEDIATELY to Central Office, told the Superintendent that I needed to see him and the lady I accused immediately. I then issued a sincere, humble, and heartfelt appology to her for falsely accusing her of this wrong doing. Breton, I am a man of honor, I know that is archaic in this time, but it was NO PROBLEM for me to do that in front of the boss! It was the LEAST I COULD DO! She starting crying and hugged me, I started crying and hugged her back, it was very emotional to say the least. Right should overcome self-richesness!!!
