Well, the b-day was good. I got the cut/color. Not as happy as I expected with the color, but it's fine. Dinner with my parents on Saturday night. H sent me a Happy Birthday text. Oh, and I worked out on Sat. morning too!! Whoo Hoo!
H called on Saturday afternoon and said that a buddy (20-something) had called to see if he could meet up for a few beers early pm. I told H....it's up to you. However, it would be nice if you would tell him that you already have plans for dinner and that maybe you could do it Sunday. Surprisingly, H did exactly that. He called me later and said that he'd told his friend that he'd see him on Sunday and then asked me to meet him for lunch.
Starting, you asked if there's been any sign of OW. You know, I'm not sure. I haven't really been doing any looking. H has been home a lot. It's possible that he sees her occasionally, but I'm not sure. I really don't know either way. I saw a call come in to my phone today and thought for a second that it was OW's H. My stomach turned, as I thought....I really don't want to talk to him or hear anything. Thankfully, it wasn't him.
D4 was sick on Sunday & Monday. I was off work with her yesterday. I'd love to make H take a day off when she's sick, but with his job already in limbo, we can't take a chance of him missing any more time.
Well, busy day here with missing yesterday. One of my bosses was out yesterday too, so he's catching up (making me busier) also.
Oh, I started reading a book called "You Gotta Keep Dancin" by Tim Hansel. Great read. I love it so far.
Have a great day!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I remember when I would go to snoop or someone would want to tell me something about H and OW and my heart would just sink. Just don't turn away too much. If thier relationship is still going on you don't want to be in the same boat you were last time
Have a good weekend!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Checking in! You must be one busy girl and hope that entails some fun for you.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Hi Starting. Thanks for checking in. No Code, Thanks for the Valentine's greetings. I've lurked a little, but I have been busy. Unfortunately, not for fun though! I had a bad cold and I've been busy at work.
I just got my internet hooked back up at home....welcome back to modern day living Sue! I have a few projects that I want to work on and I need the internet. I was apprehensive about setting it up because H was constantly on it when we had it before. But, he can get on it at work, at the library....so, it's not like hooking it up at home will prevent anything.
Life at home has been cold to say the least. At first I put it on H's job. I went back to my old thinking of....well, H is just stressed because his job sucks. But you know what? H says he's worried about losing his job, but has been planning a trip to Vegas & LA with his brother in April. He's complaining about money but said they're thinking of taking my FIL fishing over Memorial Day weekend. You know what? His stress over his job gives him no right to use me as the target for his anger. I've made an effort to make this work since he's been back. Now it's his turn.
I haven't gotten to the point where I'm ready to ask him to leave....but I feel close a lot of days. He's starting to pull some of the same crap. Over the past 2 weekends, he's gone out to spend time with "friends" 4 times. We took D4 to a McDonald's with a playland last weekend. It was one that I'd never been to. As we were walking up, D4 pulled me back and whispered.....Mommy, this is the playland that daddy took me to a long time ago when we met OW and her little girl. I felt so bad that D4 had to feel like she couldn't say it out loud in front of H and that she knew there was something wrong with it. As we walked it, I looked at H and said....Real nice that you brought us to this one. His face went flush and he looked down. That was all on top of the fact that we were supposed to have been spending the afternoon together (me, H & D4), shopping and going to dinner. H acted as if he was tired and didn't feel like shopping, that he'd rather just take her to go play. On the way there, I saw a map drawn out on his dash.....Oh yeah, um, my co-worker wants me to come up tonight to hang out...his girlfriend is going out and he's having some buddies over. I blew. I said, Well, why didn't you say.....Gosh dude, I went out last night, the Friday night before and you know what....I have plans with my family tonight. I got no answer. So, guess what time he got home? 2:00 am. Yep, drunk. I truly hope that between now and his March 30th court date that nothing happens. I also hope that on that court date, he gets heavy probation and is required to go to classes. The DUI has certainly not made him stop. So, that night when he was at his friend's house, he called. He said....and not in a snotty tone, surprisingly,...Since you freaked out early today that I didn't tell you about my plans for tonight, I wanted to let you know that I'm going to go hit golf balls and play simulated golf with so & so. Whatever!! Go! My thoughts are that he did not go play golf. I have an idea of where he was.
I have been planning D4's 5th birthday party also. It will be at the end of March. She's getting so excited. H mentioned something about them having beer there. She told him no, that he couldn't have any. I said...this is her party, not yours. He thought it was funny and said that he'd just mix up some vodka lemonades and sneak them in. D4 told him that he couldn't come then.
I've kept myself busy and despite how things sound, I've kept positive. I did start working out. With my bad cold and our cold, snowy weather, I'll admit that I haven't gotten there as often as I should, but I am getting there. I finished a book and am 1/2 way through another one. Like I said, I hooked my internet back up at home. I found a couple of possibly ways to make a little bit of extra money and I hope I can do that.
Another thing that has kept me very, very preoccupied this week has been my 14-year old niece. She's been dealing with a lot of emotional and physical problems the past year from a 3-wheeler accident last Feb. My sister and BIL have done an amazing, exhausting amount of work to give her every advantage they can to keep her positve and motivated (doctors, special programs at school, leave of absense for my sister...etc). When I say doctors and special programs, I just mean that the accident has left her with a lot of headaches, which in turn caused her to miss a lot of school and unable to participate in most activities and in turn she's become depressed...etc. She admitted to them on Sunday that her depression has gotten worse and although she doesn't feel she could carry it out, she has come up with a plan that she feels would work to kill herself. We were was devastated to find out that she feels this pain. I've been where she is and I never, ever wanted anyone that I love to have to feel that type of pain. I reached out to her and I hope the more people that do will help her.
I want everyone to know that I'm not looking for advice as far as my situation. I'm just updating and venting a bit. I know where I'm at and what the best solution would be for me and D4. I'm just not ready to be there yet. I feel a lot stronger, but I'm just not there yet.
All my best to everyone here. I'll be back on soon. Take care and have a great weekend.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Well, yesterday/this morning haven't been the best times.
H was let go from his job yesterday. His mood was okay at first but then it started to go down a bit as the evening went on. He already started talking about things he's going to do for work in the time being. We'll be keeping D4 at home until he goes back full-time.
My youngest niece (14) was put into a psychiatric care facility early this morning. She's the one that had the accident last year and has been dealing with headaches, fatigue and depression. She's talked more about suicide the past week. On Sunday night she told my sister that she'd tried to just slip under the water while taking a bath. I'm glad she's where she is at now, but I'm scared. I've never wanted anyone I love to feel that way. It's a scary feeling to be that low.
Well, I need to get back to work.
Take care everyone.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I am so glad that she is getting the help she needs. I will keep her in my prayers.
As for your H, I am sorry that he lost his job. It is crazy out there! It is good if he has some side jobs lined up. I also hope that this helps him build up the relationship with his daughter.
Tons of hugs. Hang in there.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'm sorry about your niece Sue. I've had some close family members have that happen too. It really helped though and they can figure out what kind of meds they need. It's great that she is getting the help she needs to; I think a lot sometimes don't.
Sorry about the job too. I hope things get better soon, but yeah, at least maybe he can bond more with D4. How are you doing with all this going on? Karen
