Hey girls! I had a FAB night out! Luke Skywalker, me, ex's BMF G and gf C. I am getting on SO well with her now, we are becoming firm friends, which is great as she is a big ole gorgeous fun Leo.
So.. found more out (they said they are rooting for me!) and they invited me to Glastonbury with them next year, which is great. My ex was going too, with Helen, but he changed his mind (dont know why, probably becuase he is unsure what he is doing and as C said, becuase they cant stand Helen!).
So..C told me she apparently looks just like me! Ugh, too wierd. Same height, same build, same figure, same hair length, style, colour and looks a BIT like me, but not as pretty. Shes very immature, doesnt act 29, acts very young and she.. downs pints one after the other (oh dear god.. Lisa, doesnt the aub do that???).
When G met her, he told C she was ok, funny. I was sad at this, but C told me she said, no way, you cant say that! what about Al!? So G explained, SHES not funny, they were basically laughing AT her (!?). The first time he met her she told G that she once went to a party and had sex with TWO different men, in the same night!!!! What a thing to tell someone you have just met and that being your new bf's BMF!?
Oh my god. G was NOT impressed. I think we can safely work out what my ex sees in her. I posted about his Venus-Pluto transit and that translates as being sexually obsessed by someone, or mixed up with a femme fatale figure that is using you for sex and its not a love match. Got that right! He is probably miserable and in hell, but having great s*x. Oh well. It would hurt more if he is in love with her, which he isnt.
G told me...she is awful. He thinks he is going through a phase and theres no way that it will last with her and shouldnt. He said he doesnt know what he's playing at. Its all so cliche'd hey?
He told me my ex used to talk to him about me ALL the time..what to do about me, how he felt...that he loves me to bits (!) and that we are connected (I keep going on about that! I'm surprised that my ex used that word), that we have this amazing connection and that he never wants to lose it (!) and that me and him spark off each other like noone else. G said he kept saying to him, well WTH are you playing at then!?? Sort it out, you fool! And he said that apparently, its to do with him having a spin out about his age, and dying and feeling old ! (oh for goddsakes). G said he also seems to have gone to a really wierd place this year (which is what my ex told me), gone into a wierd MLC, or crisis and he is not ok.
At this point I told him my ex is now NOT ok again. He agreed he seems to have gone downhill. He said the last time he saw him (2 weeks ago?) my ex rushed up to him and greeted him like he was his long lost brother and was very excited to see him and over emaotional, he said it was very odd, almost embarresing. I picked up on that too on Tuesday when I saw him, he was relieved and excited to see me. Hmm...think Helens not really filling a void hey guys?
So I told him he is in very bad shape and please keep an eye on him for me, and talk to him. He said he is seeing him as soon as he gets back off holiday. So I was relieved to hear that.
My ex is like some cardboard cutout storyboard cliche hammy character in a film !!!?
I had a great night out though, good band, played some pool, laughed alot. I really am feeling A-OK!
I had a great night out though, good band, played some pool, laughed alot. I really am feeling A-OK!
That's all I care about. I dont give a damn about him or her at this point. Just as we keep saying to Bbj, you cant fix your xBF, you cant do anything other than what he allows you to.
I am so glad you feel better and you know what? It shows in your posts. Keep it this way... Love and many many kisses K
I had a great night out though, good band, played some pool, laughed alot. I really am feeling A-OK!
Good! That's all that really matters, isn't it. That you are doing well and you don't choose to dwell on the sitch anymore, but what you have done for yourself over this last year! Good work Ali!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Ha, you girls are funny! I DID have a good night out! Bit hungover though...
I was amazed at the things I have heard this week. It was important to me. This has been an incredibly painful journey the last 18 months...it was very healing for me to sit and cry with him and see the remorse in his eyes. And also.. did anyone pick up on the fact he said, he was thikning what to do, but whatever he does he will upset someone... but me and him arent together anymore! and havent been for a year and arent M, yet the whole way he was talking, it was as though we were still together and he has a choice and its like he is being unfaithful. So, I was right, we are still emotionally connected.
Also, it sunk into today what G told me.. that my ex told him he "loved me to bits".. as at the bomb, I got the whole IDLYA. Not ILWYBINILWYA.. no, he was very clear, adamant even back then, just IDLYA.
So.. confirmation.. what they say at the bomb is BS!
Plus, its lovely to know he does love me. Although, I know we still may not ever reunite.
Had a brilliant C session today, about endings, and being on the edge.. that he is on an edge (and she agreed that he does sound possibly suicidal) and he has a choice, but this is very much death and rebirth stuff right now. Its about getting past that edge and accepting and moving into the next phase of your life.
Its also amazing that our/my RL friends family were right.. as G said, he is freaking out about getting older and fear of dying. Its so textbook MLC! He did watch his Dad dying, in a coma, over 2-3 months.
And the things I heard about her, are absolutely textbook with the stuff I have been saying about the sort of woman he would get involved with, this loose, unhealthy Pluto-Venus figure.
So.. feel like now, I pretty much have my questions answered, so thats why I feel miles better.
[quote] [/Plus, its lovely to know he does love me. Although, I know we still may not ever reunite.quote]
Ali, I think we often have connections with people that have meant much to us in the past. I had experienece of this a while back when I met up with an old friend after a 30 yr no contact -save Christmas card, it was like we had never been apart after about 5 minutes!We intuitively knew what the other was going to say etc.
I am happy you are feeling questions have been answered, I am not in favour of listening or at least putting too much store in what friends tell you, jmo. I am glad that you heard he loves you, I am sure he does.
I am not sure you really believe the bit in blue! Keep living life for you.
I do believe it. I'm getting a lot of this lately.. my C says, its like people dont trust me, and they need to.
Plus... his friends were shocked we own all this property still, that he doesnt mention it and he continues to treat it as 'ours' - we talked on Tuesday about it and he has zero plans to split our finances. We are not out of contact and I believe we are connected and I am not giving up yet, but I know its a BIG long shot.
...and HAHAHAHAA.. think I ought to post this on my own thread too !
Originally Posted By: AliSuddenly
I was out with Luke Skywalker last night, he was smoking hot. Nice mop chop, very lovely dark fitted wool coat with the collar up, smile that could light up China..and he put The Undertones Teenage Kicks on when we got in the car...if he was willing, I'd have snogged him! (I felt like a giddy schoolgirl around him!)
.. he works as an Occupational Therapist, but is training to be a Lawyer in the evenings and is nearly qualified. I felt strangely disappointed when he told me he might move to London in the New Year...
We chatted for ages about college and music and there is definetly something there. He's just moved to a remote rustic cottage in a little village by the sea.. he said his housemates (doctors) are always out and he makes a big fire and has it all to himself and he loves that he is just metres from the sea..
I have to admit, I felt a little bit in love with him right then. I felt my ovaries groaning ! He's only 26 though.. he sort of went "hmm" when I said I was 37. Hey ho!
Gosh he has a lovely smile though..and is a lovely sweet guy. But then, so is my ex.
G and C kept saying that last night about my ex.. "he's a lovely, lovely man"
Great news that you've been going out again! That is what you need, my dear.
Also, you mentioned hearing the "in too deep" phrase often, well, my XW did say it as well in July when she began acting like she was considering coming back. When I said we don't have to do this (divorce) she said "What? And have me lose my dignity? It is too late now." I replied it is never too late and I don't care what others say, but only what she says, thinks, and feels and she tearfully ended the conversation. Her next decision was to tell me we were getting "too close" and she was messed up and we were no longer allowed to talk about anything other than D...then she slept w/ the apartment manager and the rest is history.
So, you are hearing things that pretty par for the course for all of us. The difference is that some of those that left will have the courage to try and return despite feeling like it is "too late" while the others who lack the courage (re: my XW) will run further, farther, and faster. It remains to be seen which one your BF is going to turn out to be. I'm hoping for the courageous one.
Finally, I mentioned it to you before, but you weren't ready for him then, so I'll bring it back out for you now...
Keep in touch w/ "Luke Skywalker" and maybe you'll get to play w/ his lightsaber. If so, you may want to put your hair in double buns like Princess Leia to complete the role play fantasy.
Keep in touch w/ "Luke Skywalker" and maybe you'll get to play w/ his lightsaber
HAHAHAHAHAHA !!! Classic Rob. Funny man.
Sorry guys, but he is just too damn young, too good looking and kinda not my destiny/out of my league? (but ok, he'd do nicely on the pillow next to me! )
I did make him laugh, alot though. Humour breaks through "leagues"...think Peter Sellers/Britt Ekland, Woody Allen/Mia Farrow, Shrek... Not that I'm THAT ugly !
Yes, Rob, it remains to be seen. I have heard lots of encouraging things this week though and of course he took me out for a drink and hugged me and cried alot, which is extrodinary in itself! And offered to drive me home Friday. I wouldnt do those things with my ex.. and they said, Helen probably doesnt know ahout it.
In fact, I am a little deflated at the muted responses on my thread! This is the biggest development since January... last June 07!? The FIRST honest conversation we have had and the most tears. Also.. his BMF G said he met him for a drink 2 weeks ago.. then went on to say "Al, I dont want to give you false hope, I wouldnt if I thought there wasnt any, I wouldnt do that to anyone, theres nothing worse than being in limbo, waiting for someone, BUT.. I'm telling you.. you should hang in there..wait and see"
I said, but he is still with her and unlikely to end it with her? He just looked at me.. with a .. I wouldnt be so sure-face. He also said, he is going through a phase, trust me, it wont last with her... But.. theres intention and then theres action. And yes, he said he was in too deep.
So, I am guessing my ex said SOMETHING to him. Perhaps expressed some confusion/unhappiness. This guy is a totally reliable source, he is very emotionally open and my ex confides in him like no one else.
