Glad to hear it's getting better! Thank you for all your great advice on my sitch!! You are helping a lot of people on here and we appreciate that! Wish I could return the favor!
Hey, Sam, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. See, you have lifted my spirits just by saying that! You never know how you may help another person, so don't be shy about replying to another person's thread. We don't have to have a perfect M to have advice. None of us would be here if that were the case, but we learn from our own stitch and we learn from life and from each other.
Things have been better betwen my H and me. We both have been concerned about his heart problems but he finally gave in to go have test done. I think that was part of him being in a sullen mood lately. He gets like that when he is worried and of course, he isn't a talker, so it comes across as him being moody. But, all in all, we are doing okay. I think if we both could start feeling better physically that it would make a world of difference. But, just have to take a day at a time, don't we?
Thanks for dropping by and please do anytime.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
You posted to my thread a while back and I have been hoping that you'll pop back in someday. You were so helpful to me when I first posted, and then you never came back, and I was worried I had said something that kept you away.
You are everywhere on this board, but it took me a while to find a thread that belonged to you. I saw a few of your posts on someone else's thread (can't remember whose, now, sorry) and you were talking about how busy you were and your pain issues. I hope that your pain has subsided and that you are able to get back to business.
I'll be praying for you, and sending you ((((hugs)))).
Me: 38 H: 41 M: 12 D12, S10 H began EA: 7/08 H moved out: 9/30/08 Bomb (sleeping with OW): 10/23/08
My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1638048&page=2#Post1638048
Thanks to all of you for the visits. It means a lot to me, and I'm really serious about that. Christa, I went on your thread one night trying to catch up and got so tired I had to give it up and hit the sack. But I haven't forgotten about you.....just wish I knew what to say to help your stitch. But, I'm pulling for you and want you to be happy. You work so hard and you deserve to have a good man to treat you right.
Lovehimso, you did not make me mad at all. The only way somebody usually makes me mad is to get real ugly to me. I get tickled at some of the guys when I use a 2x4 (as they call it) and some people think I am mad, but my kids would hoot at that and be quick to tell them, "They ain't seen mad, yet".....lol. Just kidding. I really am not that bad.....
My H got a good report on his test about his heart. It did show a restriction and I was concerned it would mean another open heart surgery, but they think they can take care of it with medication. His difficulty breathing (they think) is caused from high blood pressure. He is on blood pressure meds, but they are going to adjust it. Anyway, if they can keep that under control, maybe he will start feeling better. I don't mind telling you that I was getting very concerned that he was headed for a heart attack b/c he was acting just like he did before his by-pass surgery.
My D has been pretty sick. If it's not one thing, it's another, but she seems to take it all in stride. Just as she gets over one thing....or even before she can get over it....something else is hitting her. I think she got her strong constitution after my grandmother....cause it sure wasn't me. I tell you all something....it hurts when you have two children and both of them on disability before they were even 40 years old. I would exchange places with them but my health isn't good enough that they would want to....... I have had some rough days over the weekend and missed a couple of days of work. After Sunday, I hope some of the stress at church will let up, and maybe things will get a little better. I know stress makes it a lot worse for me.
Anyway, don't have much to report in the M department. Things still rocking along about usual. We are getting along fine and especially since he isn't so moody now. Only thing is I know he worrys about the money situation....who isn't these days! But, his is more out of not being physically able to hold out to do the work b/c he gets calls for jobs that he just can't do.....and it's a shame b/c we sure could use the income. But, I suppose he is doing the best he knows how. Sometime I get kind of put out with him for not doing more around the house, but compared to a lot of men, he does well and is good to me and I'm trying to see that side of him. Sure, it would be nice on the days he doesn't work to come in and find he had cleaned house, washed clothes, cooked....the whole bit. However, he has never been one to do all of it at once. If he washes.....it takes him all day. If he cooks, it takes him all day.....etc. But, he could be a lot worse.
BTW, I'll tell you all something kind of funny. Yesterday at work, this man came in and I did not even think about it until he left and suddenly it dawned on me that he sort of resembled the OM.....not a lot, but enough that it made me think about it. I thought, what would I do if he were to just walk in here some day to surprise me? Well, first, I probably might faint. But, I doubt that will happen. But one thing is for sure and I can say without a doubt in the world......I have no feelings for OM what-so-ever. So, you see, everything that I was told in the beginning when I came on board......was true. I had the "grass is greener" disease. But, I can say that people can get over EA's! Thank God I did not let it go farther, but I think that it would be harder, but not impossible, to get over a PA also. As I said to one of you not long ago.....it is almost as if a person kind of goes crazy or something. I still don't understand it except it is like a desparate search for happiness or an emotional need filled......and you go looking in all the wrong places.
Well, thanks again to all of you for caring so much. It helps me get up the next morning and hit at life again.
Love, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
S2 I just registered but I have been reading the BB for several weeks. I have found hope from your posts.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
My H got a good report on his test about his heart. It did show a restriction and I was concerned it would mean another open heart surgery, but they think they can take care of it with medication.
I hope the meds will. The ones I am taking for my heart failure have worked well for me. I am able to hike up and down hills and able to spend an hour on the treadmill. Just before they found out my problem I had to stop several times just to get to my car in the parking lot.
I still can't keep up with my W when she joins me for a walk. I feel bad that she is not getting much exercise when she does. She claims that one of pills affects my memory. I think the stress from the R has more of an effect.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
If he cooks, it takes him all day.....etc.
I have the same problem. It seems to take me a 1/2 hour to make my lunch, 3+ hours to make a batch of salsa and a large batch of chili takes all day.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
But one thing is for sure and I can say without a doubt in the world......I have no feelings for OM what-so-ever. So, you see, everything that I was told in the beginning when I came on board......was true. I had the "grass is greener" disease.
That gives me hope that my W is starting to feel that. At first she said she always had her NET friend (OEA) to turn two. Several months ago she said it had been over a year since she had communicated with him.
I glad I found you again on the BB and pray that things keep getting better for you and your H.
--------
Me 56 W 48 S and D in college Married 23 yrs W emotionally detached 1996? OEA late 2006 INILWY early 2007
Hi Jay and welcome aboard. Have you started a place of your own yet? Guess I could have looked it up to see for myself...huh?
You gave me much encouragement telling me about your health improvements. My H had reached that place where he could not walk to the street to get the mail and back to the door without being so out of breath, it would scare me. That was right before his heart surgery for 4 by-passes. The past many months he has been acting like it did not take much to cause him to be out of breath and he was not able to take the treadmill stress test. They had to do the type where they inject the medication to cause the heart to speed up. Plus they did some other things. But, they think it is his blood pressure that is causing him to be out of breath.
I feel guilty about him and my mother both b/c their health has gone down a lot since they discovered my EA. Maybe it would have anyway, even if I had not had an online EA, but we will never know. I just never saw my mother go down like she did when she found out about what I had done. Of course she is getting elderly now, so she is not able to handle things like she did when she was younger.
I will look your thread up and read your story, if you have posted it. If you haven't, don't be shy....just jump in and start talking. If I can come on and tell what I did....nobody else should hold back anything. I do hope your wife will get past her EA.....if she is still involved in one. But before I continue to discuss that at any length, I'll check out your stitch.
You gave me a good laugh (and a much needed one) reading about your cooking. I told my male boss one time, that the reason God made the women have babies was because they could hold a baby on one hip, cook dinner, wash clothes, and talk on the phone.....all at the same time. He agreed and said there was no way a man could do that! LOL
Hope you will come back and visit.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Just wanted to tell everyone that our special day at church went great. Everyone seemed to enjoy the program and the decorations looked pretty good (if I do say so myself....lol). If there had been any more people there, we would not have had a place to sit them for lunch. We had people from years past to show up and it meant a lot to me. I felt as if the entire program rested on my shoulders, and I suppose it did b/c if I had not been able to go, I don't know what would have happened. I am sure somebody would have stepped in and done something, but several people were praying that I would be well and there to pull it together. Good thing they were praying.....since I finished up with the decorations Friday night and was down sick with my Fibro all day Saturday. I was really concerned how I was going to make it Sunday. But I did, however, I was sure ready to get home and lie down when it was over.
I just wanted to update that news for those of you who were praying for me about that task and knew it was going to be physically hard on me. Thanks again for that support.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I tell you all something....it hurts when you have two children and both of them on disability before they were even 40 years old. I would exchange places with them but my health isn't good enough that they would want to....... 
I have had some rough days over the weekend and missed a couple of days of work. After Sunday, I hope some of the stress at church will let up, and maybe things will get a little better. I know stress makes it a lot worse for me.