Gypsy - The ones I know on here that are out seeing new ladies are myself, Mike in Tennessee and Arthur in England. I think for us, we have realized that our wives were not all that great after all and we know there are much better ladies such as yourself to spend our spare time with. One of the divorced ladies I have dated waited 2 years before starting to date. It could be that women get a longer lasting bitter taste from the betrayal by their husbands and they are afraid to have a repeat. I think there is also the factor that us guys have a desire to make a woman happy. It is much easier to give than to receive. Venus and Mars stuff...
And RTL is right - I feel like a teenager now as in addtion to phone calls and dates, I am texting (something new for me) and IM'ing the latest G40 (gasstationmanager40). We had a great time playing scrabble at a pizza place last night (I lost). She called when I got home and we talked for over an hour. She is coming by my house on Saturday with her D4 and we are driving to Eugene to visit with her brother's family. I feel so at ease with this beautiful and intelligent lady and we both have told each other that while I am still legally married that we are going to remain at bat and not start rounding any bases.
There is some anticipation on my part that my D may be final before Nov 20, but I got the latest offer from W's L yesterday and they still are asking too much for a spousal lump sum payout (I say 30K and they want 55K). I also have mentioned to my L that we may want to use the recently reduced value of the retirement and house to help leverage against them some. We got them to agree to our division of assets value as they were trying to split my checking again and throw in an extra 6K for household items which we had already split. The are letting me have the child deductions and credits on my taxes as W cant use them anyway. Besides my paying child support, I am responsible for the kids health care, school fees and music lessons. I also must maintain life insurance for myself which I already had.
Women seem to want space after a divorce while men seem to jump into lots of dating and not wanting to alone? Is it a guy thing?
there are lots of women here doing the same thing. They are dating as soon as the D is final if not before. It's not just a guy thing..it's a lonely thing.
I'm not sure your assumptions are correct. I know a number of D'd women who began dating soon after splitting, some even before the D was final.
But put me in the "teenager again" category, also. My new R with my W feels that way. We text/email each other several times a day and call and chat when we can. I used to never do that, but I look forward to the little pick-me-ups, especially when the work day seems to drag on forever. Our couples nights feel much more like dates than they used to, also.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
gforce, we said divorced or to be divorced, you dont count...
Kerry, you do sound like a teenager. I am glad. It feels good, doesnt it? Like there is life in you that you thought didnt exist... And I think "dating time" is more of a sitch thing. In some cases people use it to overcome the hurt, in others people cant date unless the hurt has subsided... Speaking for myself, I couldnt date someone just for the fun of it. I would need more. Some kind of a special connection. And that of course limits a lot the "interesting men". Thank God I got lucky... K
W seems to be fishing for what I am doing in my spare time. She left a message this morning asking if I would teach S8 this Saturday how to grow crystals but nervously acknowleged that I may have other plans. She will probably ask again when she calls me this afternoon and I will just say that I am going to be out of town on Saturday. I know her and she will press for more. I will just have to say it is personal and that I had my Saturday planned from earlier this week.
Kalni, I am not really dating just for fun - my goal is to find the special someone to love and grow old together with. Someone to share a family with. Dating many women can get to be a drag because you always have to go through the same get to know you stage. I believe in destiny and I hope my intuitions are right - G40 seems special and she seems to like me a lot just as I like her. She has even told me recently that she wants to have a relationship with me that possibly leads to marriage someday.
There was no way for me to have figured my W would have turned out as she had and I would marry the person she was again, but after a much longer dating period. I am so thankful to have had a good marriage with her for over 8 years regardless of some of her faults. We still have 2 great kids that will always be ours.
This weekends day trip to duck land should be interesting. I am looking forward to meeting G40's brother as he works for a software company (which I had done contract project for) and is in an interracial marriage just as I. Her daughter (4) has talked a few times with me on the phone and she sure is not very shy. This little girls father has not seen her for over 3 years which is something that I just cannot relate with. That guy must be a real piece of...
Kerry, I didnt mean YOU were dating just for fun. I have noticed you said before "my next wife" and that means you are lookig for a solid R and feel ready for it. I have nothing against dating for fun, I have in the past, I just feel this whole experience left me asking for more. And prepared me to give more. I know we will both get what we deserve... (that sounded scary) xxx K
Kerry, W might want you to teach S8 crystals because she has other plans - maybe going to the club or out to a picnic with OM. I experienced this with my W until I established firm boundaries.
Kalni, you and I are probably very similar in what we want now. I am staying in Oregon for the beach, but Idaho is awesome with its super dry snow and beautiful mountains.
Some people enjoy playing the field, but I am not one of them. When I meet someone that I go out with for more than 2 dates, I just cant feel comfortable going out on dates with others.
Fb2 - I know that W has gotten a babysitter before when she has had the kids on the weekend. I cant let how she spends her time with the kids bother me, and yes, establishing firm boundaries in my private life is important.
First of all, I'm stoked by your G40 situation. Really, really cool!
Also, I'm so incredibly happy for gForce because his situation is very cool and what we were all striving for at one time (if not still now for some of us out there). Peter, your new R w/ your W is a blessing and I'm glad you have been able to get there. Keep working and keep the love growing, my man.
Kerry I also get what you mean about the dating thing. I've been out on a few, but quite honestly, unless my socks are knocked off, I'm not interested in starting anything. To date, I've not met anyone who seems interested in me that I'd consider someone who I'd like to date long-term and seriously.
There are candidates that would like me to want to date them seriously, but it would seem fake and wouldn't be fair to them either. I'm like you, I don't want to round the bases just to round the bases. That is hurtful at this stage in the game. So, I'll get into the batter's box, but mostly for friendship right now.
I've decided to not settle for anything less than what I deserve. So, when I find it, I'll be ready. Until then, I'll be very picky, but polite. I'm not into the use 'em and lose 'em set up.
First of all, I'm stoked by your G40 situation. Really, really cool!
Also, I'm so incredibly happy for gForce because his situation is very cool and what we were all striving for at one time (if not still now for some of us out there). Peter, your new R w/ your W is a blessing and I'm glad you have been able to get there. Keep working and keep the love growing, my man.
Kerry I also get what you mean about the dating thing. I've been out on a few, but quite honestly, unless my socks are knocked off, I'm not interested in starting anything. To date, I've not met anyone who seems interested in me that I'd consider someone who I'd like to date long-term and seriously.
There are candidates that would like me to want to date them seriously, but it would seem fake and wouldn't be fair to them either. I'm like you, I don't want to round the bases just to round the bases. That is hurtful at this stage in the game. So, I'll get into the batter's box, but mostly for friendship right now.
I've decided to not settle for anything less than what I deserve. So, when I find it, I'll be ready. Until then, I'll be very picky, but polite. I'm not into the use 'em and lose 'em set up.
RTL
RTL/Kerry..this is exactly my attitude. By no means do I want another R right now. I do enjoy having women who seem interested in me as that is a first in my life or the first time it has been blatantly obvious to me. I just want to go out, date and have a good time..I'm after nothing else...
