Hello DB ers- well things are good...but H has become a bit snappy so we are adjusting and i have had a few moments of fear here and there. luckily i have a great new IC who is CBT and helps me stay centered- i even started a guided meditation today
H still has a lot to figure out and sometimes i take it personally. its crazy how i made it through hell this summer with peace and harmony, yet now i feel a little more upset...not bad- overall im so happy- but just al ittle more frenzied. i think its the house thing. wiating for an offer and not sure what our next steps will be. my bro is till hammering us and wants us to by a nice house with him...
i also get annoyed in my head that he still has his apt and hasnt said ILY. he is spreading his wings to feel his indepdance within the marriage. so this is just a little adjustment.
i should mention that he and i read the 5LL (thats like JWS saying hell froze over!)...he wanted to read the wives part of the quiz to me - he was so cute. we were drinking chamomile tea and doing the 5LL quiz. HELLO! not in my wildest dreams
so overall we are good. just getting a ittle in my HEAD which is not good- so this meditation thing is great to keep me in my heart.
XO XO P
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
That is very sweet about the 5LL, ah someday... I can only imagine that the readjustment period is really tricky as well. In terms of the ILY, you've said it to him and he's been fine, and he's been SHOWING you commitment, so you know all is well.
Have you written a letter to Michele yet?
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
That guided meditation thing sounds excellent, P. I think if I took more time to do meditation, I would be in a lot better place right now than I am. Let us know how it goes...
And keep being patient--it's worked miracles for you so far!
(((((P)))))
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
H and I are doing really well. We have had a few rough days here and there..but mostly really back on track.
when i say rough- it is just learning how to communicate and not slip back into old patterns. i am very clear with my needs ...but I try to not overdo it and overload him with nagging...I just make sure I ask for what I need. then I move on.
We are buying a house (great deal)...so this is all progressing. His fears came up a bit and i just let him sit with them for a few days... and express them a bit. I didnt try to stop him from having them....or pry...
I also was able to say my fears and say where i am with our M. Also-I have been struggling a bit with my detachment from my brother/family still- as he has been so mean and critical and actually vicious with his language about me and my husbands choices...
so i have learned to not include him in much and really separate from him as much as possible- without a total disconnect. thats a hard pill to swallow- but very needed and healthy.
my H has said very small things about having kids in the future...and he being the providor...its amazing! he is really growing into a MAN before my eyes- with a few setbacks..but i have had a few as well.. a little snappy at him, etc. and recovered it quickly- but it just felt gross..
he has only said our little pet name for ILY- not the full fledged words yet- and he STILL has his apt - that he never goes to! but i think he will get rid of it this week as we are buying a house..we are doing that bc we own the current one w my bro and its too uncmfy in that sitch.
another great thin is we are planing a backpacking trip over xmas- just us away from it all! i am so excited and so is he- we did a trial 6 mile hike today! yeesh !!! we connect best in nature and the outdoors being active..
anywho- im trying to catch up with all of you....miss you all!
Please take care of yourselves.. i am learning I have to keep that up- the GAL, PMA is sometimes easy to forget! But that is the #1 most important tool from all this DB'ing....
XO XO XO P!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
It seems like everything just went so smoothly for you! (I'm sure it didn't feel that way...)
Sounds like from what I've read on the piecing boards, the LBS usually gets a little frustrated by the time they reach romance/reconciliation because they've had to keep own their feelings under wraps for so long. Sounds like you are doing well at working through it though.
I wouldn't worry about the lack of "ILY" yet. You have a true commitment and are buying a house together. That is worth a million ILYs :). Funny, I wouldn't care if I never heard the word again if I had that commitment and knew the love was there. Funny what this sitch will do to you.
I'm glad everything continues to go so well. And as far as kids, was this one of the original issues, whether you'd have them or not? If so are you in agreement now?
Hope you're doing well today!
ITH
Last edited by istherehope; 10/10/0802:19 PM.
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
