Atta girl. It matters. I do it too. that's why it's easy for me to see.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
So what would be a hobby you would do just for you?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Hey Jen...I think its natural that we arrive at worrying conclusions when they pull back or something changes. I guess it does keep changing, fluctuating, maybe contact goes up and down or the quality of the meeting...I have experienced this lately! I had it in my head he had moved on, maybe met someome, made some kind of decision...turns out for him (I cant be certain) but that nothing had really changed, he'd just been feeling quiet, rundownn, stressed at work.
You havent mentioned the death of his grandad recently, but maybe could that have affected him a little temporarily? Having to see his parents or be there for his Mum at all? Could he feel at the moment a little overwhelmed/sad/hassled!? Maybe he just needs a little space but that doesnt mean he is done with you.
I also think about the list (thanks for the post!) that you are in a confusing sitch with your ex, you see him an awful lot, you hang out with friends and he calls alot and sleeps at your apartment and also.. you ML! So its not surprising that you would try and try and inch a little closer to him and overstep the mark a bit here and there, so liek Coach said, dont beat yourself up!!
Thing is, you're not out of the woods yet, he is still maintaining a separation from you, so you just got to pull back and be a bit more canny girl ! Thinking of you, I always love to hear what progress you are making,
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
jen- you know what works- that list is very clear for LRT...it isnt live and die rules-you can pursue some and make plans as well...just balance it as you have been.
the ones you have "broken" may not necessarily be a bad thing w your H.
what has worked?
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Ali...isn't is so easy to jump to conclusions about things and then after all the stress we put ourselves through it turned out we were wrong to begin with! I haven't spoken to him about his Grandfater lately. When we were out Thursday we were looking at some pics on his iPod of our trip to Peru and he paused at one of a family shot with his GFather.
I'm trying to withdraw a bit more but when he says something negative about me or our R I feel sad but I need to realize his thoughts/emotions are his can't control mine. He only mentions the bad times. He was here this morning for about 3 hours and the interation was 99% positive.
The list is one to follow and has worked for so many. Of course not all points work for everyone. I think boundaries are important for me.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Pisces, I agree it's best to balance out the dos and don'ts.
For example he doesn't mind me calling him but doesn't like it if its in the evenings. He will spend time around me even if I initiate but would prefer if D is with us. He doesn't like me to ask to many questions about his wherabouts so I've cut back. I try and let him deal with his negative emotions about me and our R.
I haven't detached as much as I would like to and I haven't given forgiveness or unconditional love.
I'm trying not to contact him much except if it's work, child, or financially related. I'm trying to be happy with what he can give at the moment and not make him feel bad for not giving more.
I hurt him on Thursday when I left him in the restaurant...he told me "the person who calls me their friend left me sitting alone like a dork...friends don't do that" So now I need to build his trust again.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for cheering me up and talking me down over the weekend. I'm back in the fight and I'll go down swinging
*************************************** Keep smilin', keep shinin' Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure That's what friends are for For good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are for
Last edited by JenInVen; 08/25/0806:45 PM.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for cheering me up and talking me down over the weekend. I'm back in the fight and I'll go down swinging
I pop in to check on you and you are already on the upswing. Women, change your mood like you're changing sweaters. Glad to see you feeling better. My head was in a funk this morning also but no more. The karma on the BB has changed. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Glad to see you feeling better. My head was in a funk this morning also but no more. The karma on the BB has changed.