The Doctor is IN! Congratulations H, you did it. You stopped a train going in one direction and pointed it in another direction, and started it moving the way you want it to go. That is an enormous accomplishment. Glad to see she likes dialoguing. It really is the key. Couples who drop dialoguing go back to their bad habits. The Post sessions are great too. We got better and better as every week went by.
H/Dr. Love, I've lurked around your thread for a while and I just wanted to congratulate you on your Retro weekend.
It gives me hope.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Dr. Love/H- I was reading your thread and prayed for you during 90/90. Stick with it! If you can, 10/10 every day until next mtg, but also take a minute to pat yourself on the back. What you did was hard, but worth every minute. Your posts are a good reminder for those who have made a weekend. Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Glad to see she likes dialoguing. It really is the key. Couples who drop dialoguing go back to their bad habits. The Post sessions are great too. We got better and better as every week went by.
Glad it went well H. I was thinking about you this weekend. Heed Sara's advice and continue the dialoging. Not sure if it would have changed anything, but we tapered off on our dialogs and then pretty much stopped. It wasn't that we didn't like the dialogs or had a problem with them. It just seemed like we were always on the same page with the emotions that we wrote about, so at some point it was like "okay... we understand how each other feels".
Hmmm... that's the first time in a while that I thought back to the dialogs and it still leaves me wondering. We were communicating sooo well and things seemed sooo much better, and then... I'm still not sure what happened , but maybe the dialoging would have helped us to continue moving down same path together.
Be sure you guys keep working at it in the coming weeks...
Congrats on the weekend, and the start of what could be a wonderful change in your relationship! It is important to keep that dialogue going...we don't do it anymore and I think that we have lost some of the intimacy we have gotten back! Its hard to find the time sometimes, but I do believe that it is important to continue doing it as much as you can!! I was glad to see you took today!! You really do need the time to decompress after the weekend!! I had to call in sick!!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Oh thats such great news! Way to go Dr. LOve! I think that if couples here were given the opportunity to go to Retro or a similar workshop they'd have a stronger M.
I just hope my XH will see the need to get 3rd party support for our issues too.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
, but maybe the dialoging would have helped us to continue moving down same path together. 