My H doesn't know where I live. He's only asked once, I told him the area, he was sorta talking about coming over once and I offered him directions, but that hasn't happened of course.
There are many reasons he might not be comfortable telling you that. Embarassment is the least of them.
In any case, with all the increased contact and positives it's kinda a small thing to worry about. He probably will go through some more withdrawal periods, just hang in there. Ride them out. He keeps coming back to you!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Yes, I am sooo relieved, but its not ok yet, he may have to move. We had a slightly wierd convo about it on the phone. I was annoyed he told his boss we'd split in November, as I knew she'd think theres no need for you to be down there now.. his old boss had agreed the transfer so he could move with me, as I had got into college.. he told me earlier that she thought the transfer had only been "for personal reasons" (so I was right, her rationale for moving back is becuase we have split up). He argued with her that that wasnt the reason, it was to expand the business down here.. so that was wierd. I wish he hadnt told her we had split. I'm sure this wouldnt be happening if he hadnt.
Well, maybe its a good thing. If he's forced to move back home, he will either hate the commute, or hate having to move to the city, so it will be rubbish. Maybe he will miss me! They said he is to come back in 2/3 months...thats July/August. Also, our tenants move out of our home at the end of July...I have been telling my friends for the past 6 months that I will know more by August becuase there are 2 big eclipses in Leo then.
I never ask where he lives and he may be embarressed yes. Its still odd to not tell me though!
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
has he told why he doesn't want to move back? You said before you were both kind of "lonely" in Cornwall, just had each other. Why doesn't he want to go back to his friends etc. Or am I getting something confused?
Hi Kalni! Yeah well, he is VERY upset to be asked to go back up country. He is angry about the way its happened, but also.. yes, I am sure all his friends assumed he would move home when we split, because he has tonnes of mates back home and he did move here with me as a couple (he wouldnt have done it otherwise, on his own, no way). I did sort of ask him why he was so upset and he said because he doesnt need this right now, he doesnt want any stress, like having to move jobs. He is adamant hes not going back there!
But he didnt say WHY he wants to stay down here. It is wierd though, as although this is a beautiful place, I wonder why he wants to stay down here alone and with so few mates...unless it is something to do with being near me, I really dont know. I guess with the way he is feeling, he doesnt want change.
He said he would call me tommorow, which would be great! We may be heading back towards daily contact again (I HOPE!) That full moon didnt bring me anything dramatic like I hoped..unless this work stuff counts and him deciding yesterday to apply to that company near me.. that would be hugely positive (I would hope that he would move back in with me eventually! But we could meet for lunch at least).
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Feel a bit pants today. He emailed me about his CV and I found time to look at it, in between my assessment (I passed) and work. It was fine, but one thing that struck me - his address was at the top! So that solves that then.. it isnt that he doenst want me to know, he just hadnt bothered to tell me. He obviously hasnt wanted to invite me round though.
He remembered my assessment and wished me well, so that was good. His emails were brief though, mainly CV related. He did offer to come back to the flat though (shower STILL leaking!).
I have been thinking about his "I dont want to upset you, I know you want me to stay" statement. I think he was just acknowledging that I wanted him to stay but he was letting me know nothing has changed and he cant stay. I still dont see ANY sign from him that he is romantically interested in me. Its a bank holiday weekend here, so will be interesting if he contacts me. I have to admit, my expectations are up and I hope he wants to see me.
I guess I had high hopes after so much contact, but the reality is, hes still never said a word of regret about all this.
Um, so, yeah, just feeling a bit flat and all a bit quiet over here...
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
It's probably premature to assign a definite meaning to the statement he made. It does at least confirm his awareness of you and where things are at. Also, his other actions like initiating calls to you, warmer physical contact and increased comfort with these actions, need to be taken into consideration. So, yes, he may well still be signalling that at this time he can't bring more to the table, but I don't get the impression by any means that this is done for him.
This is all mind-boggling, heart rollercoaster sort of business, isn't it?
((((((Ali)))))) Remember, he isn't spending a third of the time thinking about the R as you are. There is a lot less meaning behind his small actions and words than you assign to them, after thorough Alinalysis! Try to stay level!
