Partner left after 9 years - a flicker of life?

[Purr]

Jeff,

You are bad!!

Purr

[Virtually_Handsome]

I can fix stuff, too!

[Kalni]

I thought I would get you guys going with that comment...

And it was DOING it Yourself...

k

[W2G]

Good luck with the DIY with BF!!!!!

Hugs,
W2G

[AliSuddenly]

Blimey, I bet we are all DIY experts! No need to call in the professionals around here.

Well, hes gone. Again, no signs of romance, but more little sweet tones and little teasing ways, hard to explain but there was none of that before. He was very committed to fixing the leak, as if it was HIS problem, which I didnt think it was (and hasnt been for 6 months). He did want to come back for dinner, so I made us pasta. I was all dressed up, hair done, soft makeup, little summer clothes.. and.. well, nothing! I didnt notice any flirting or anything! He did hug me for ages and very tightly when he left, eventhough he was already late for his squash game.. and I didnt kiss him!!!

So he asked me to help write his CV as he is going to maybe apply to that other company here (10 minutes from my house, YAY!) and its a promotion, so more money. Lisa, I thought of you! He said he felt very low yesterday so I asked him directly why and he said he just gets like that sometimes. He is speaking to his boss tommorow about whether the decision is made yet to bring him back up country and so again I asked him directly to email me and let me know what she said and he said he would, then when he said goodby and hugged me for a 2nd time, he said, I'll speak to you tommorow...He was very interested in my artwork too and saying he thinks I am definetly an artist (I dont think I am ! Workshy maybe !)

So, I fear my thread is getting boring now! More of the same.. loads of contact but I really get the impression he sees himself as single and that isnt going to change. He said something about wanting to cycle to work... like as though its never occurred to him to move out of that flat. But the last twice he has said goodbye, his face was right near mine, and looking down and as though he was going to kiss me.. if he just lent forward that extra few inches, but he just rubs my arm and then legs it.

Well, it was lovely to see him again! Wierd. No emails, no phonecalls either, now I keep cooking for him !!!! Next he'll be bringing his washing round LOL. Although he always did more laundry than me...

Ali xxx

[MichelleLT]

He did grab me tightly when he hugged me and although he was already late for his squash game, he hugged me for ages..

Wow, that's a great positive!!!

and I didnt kiss him !!! Do I get a gold star?

Yep

So he asked me to help write his CV as he is going to maybe apply to that other company here (10 minutes from my house, YAY!) and its a promotion to Principal Engineer, so more money.

Very nice! An excuse to see you more perhaps?

So, I fear my thread is getting boring now! More of the same.. loads of contact but I really get the impression he sees himself as single and that isnt going to change.

It's more of the same, but it's solid good friendship stuff with a bit of teetering towards romance I think. Give it time. See what develops.

The last twice he has said goodbye, his face was right near mine, and looking down and as though he was going to kiss me.. if he just lent forward that extra dew inches, but he just rubs my arm and then legs it.

I don't think he's so much scared of you as himself and hurting you again. Don't read too much into it. But enjoy that eye contact and physical touch. Those moments of connection are TOTALLY positive!

[RefuseToLose]

Ali,

I'll echo Michelle's thoughts:

The interactions are very positive.
This is more about him than you - remember that.
I know you were disappointed, but remember NO EXPECTATIONS!

Finally, your self-control was excellent! I know you wanted to give those kisses, but you refrained. I'm guessing he's wondering why you didn't kiss his neck this time. Wondering is a good thing for him to do. Wondering makes him think about you. His movement toward you as if he wanted to kiss you may have been the result of him missing your kisses on his neck.

That is all good. Remember to give him the chance to miss you. You did well in this interaction. VERY WELL!

Now is the time to be consistent for the next interaction.

Good work today, young lady.

RTL

[Kalni]

Bravo Ali!!

I agree with Michelle and RTL. Stage 2 for good. And if you stop kissing him and tearing up from time to time you may give him the chance for more moves towards Stage 3. My H keeps saying lately that what holds him back is the fear that he will hurt us again. I am sure your BF thinks the same. The more fragile he sees you the more careful he will be the less spontanious as well (excuse my spelling).

Skip the laundry stuff, keep the cooking. We say "the road to a man's heart goes via his stomach".

Love
K

[MichelleLT]

I really need to get my H over for dinner...or maybe get Ali to cook for him.

Are you sure you didn't put something in his food?

[AliSuddenly]

the road to a man's heart goes via his stomach

Well, in that case, I'm surprised we're not M with a bun in the oven by now the amount of food I am cooking for him! But, if we can talk astrology here for just a minute (excuse me), then it IS the way to his heart, as he has a Taurus Moon and your moon sign is what feeds your soul and what you love and Taurean moons LOVE good food and wine. They have to watch their waistline (he has developed a little spare tyre since leaving me, but thats probably all the booze he has been sinking). Michelle, I always ask him what he wants, then cook exactly that. I speed cook, 15 mins usually, leaves more time for chatting ! You should defo ask your H to stop by for food.. I always ask, in a casual way, like its just refueling, no big deal.

So, I am helping with his CV.. great! I really did think of Lisa. If it leads to grabbing my bottom and snogging me in bars like it did for her, then I will write the best darn CV he's ever seen. And I want him to get the job! Its near my house (as opposed to his job now might be moving 250 miles away, arrghh!)

I am sewing banners. I have done half of one and I have 7 1/2 to go ! Eeek! I have permission to hang and photograph them in this 13th century chapel tommorow. What fun! My BF really was very interested and supportive. Hes my biggest fan. As he was saying goodbye at the door, he was mithering about me getting my camera to work and saying he'd call me and I was standing there thinking, what a wierdo !? That he is like that with me, but we are most definetly apart. Does it occur to him that I may just go find someone else? He's never said and I cant imagine him reacting as badly as Kalni's H, or reacting at all! But you never know.

Does anyone think I should start making myself a bit unavailable? That he is cake-eating, having the comfort of me, without giving me anything back, maybe even using me a little?

Just wondered.