Minkerman: Neutral is the new Forward!

[fish]

Good luck my brother.

My concern is for YOU and your happiness. Mink - you and I have gottent to know each other over the past 6 months. You are an awesome dude who brings a lot to the table. There are many women out there that would give anything to be with a guy like you.

You have some big decisions to make in the very near future.

But this I promise... if things do not work out with W, you are going to be more than fine. My bet is that a guy like you will be
"off the market" very very soon.

Fish

[minkerman]

Thanks Fish. I know I'm a catch, and that's why I can take my time. Even if things don't work out with W, I will be fine, I have women hitting on me now and then...in fact twice this week. One girl in Starbucks invited me to stay and drink my coffee with her, I had to pass, but she gave me her number! Yikes!! I would not be looking to get into another R right away anyhow, I still have some work to do on MM.

I went to my band rehearsal last night and we played from 7 to midnight...what an absolute BLAST! We played 28 songs in total...most were great, some good, and a few were utter shyte!

Anyway, W texted me as I drove home from work yesterday..."see you after your yoga class"...so I guess she is coming over.

Expectations at this point are absolute zero. I'll just enjoy her company and continue to live my goood life.

[minkerman]

Well, my wife just left, she actually ended up spending the whole afternoon here, from 11am to 8pm.

We did all the little jobs we wanted to do, then had lunch and dinner, and in between, watched a couple of movies on the couch.

Based on the conversation, it really sounds like she's done, at least for now. She says it may change in the future, but right now she just doesn't see herself coming home anytime soon. The frustrating part: She doesn't understand why.

Sounds like she has the MLC bug, though she isn't the least bit nasty, like so many folks are while in MLC. She is her same old sweet self, affectionate and loving, she just doesn't want to come home.

She told me she is bored much of the time, and said she is jealous of me because I am keeping so busy. She said she misses being part of a couple, being touched, and just knowing there is someone there to talk to.

I told her she could have all of that back, with one sentence. She had tears in her eyes.

I just don't get it, but MLC is like that, isn't it?

It was really nice to spend time with her, but this definitely makes detachment easier.

Such a shame...we have such potential.

[cw68]

MM, that stinks. I guess you just have to do what you do, whatever you decide that is.

[minkerman]

She also said she wants me to date other women...I suspect she wants to date as well. I asked her if she was thinking of D as an outcome of this. She said no, absolutely not at this point - we are "just" separated. She actually thinks dating others might bring us back together.

Anyone understand this???

[cw68]

I guess I can see where they are coming from. They don't want to really give up, they want to see if the grass is really greener and/or they just want to play with still having the spouse in reserve. It's risk free. In my book it's not OK. I am by no means a prude, but if you're married you don't date. Plain and simple. In addition, I can't see wanting to date while still married. Good God, our lives are confusing and complicated enough. Why bring a third party into it to screw it up some more?

[minkerman]

Yeah but telling me she wants me to date, doesn't really keep me in reserve. She says she wants me to be happy, and I deserve a partner that I can 'share my gifts' with. She says she honestly doesn't know which way she wants to go. She understands that she may lose me through this process, and she doesn't know how that would make her feel.

This is all so f'in confusing.

In the meantime, I live my life, a day at a time.

[cw68]

No, HER dating while telling you she doesn't want a divorce keeps her from having to face the risks. If she doesn't file a divorce, then the option of staying married is still quite feasible. If she waits to divorce to date then she really is going to have to face the whole shebang.

[minkerman]

Good morning, all in DB land!

Well, part of my GAL is coming to fruition this morning. I am participating in a 10k run, with 40,000 of my closest friends

It is a beautiful sunny day, and for sure this will get my endorphins going!

I hope to get a time of less than 1 hour, due to my slow recovery from a broken foot last fall.

Wish me luck!!

[cw68]

Good luck MM! Run like the wind.