W told me last night to just take things easy...I said "no problem, I'm in a different mindset than before anyway".
She said "I know that last time I wigged out when you put on the pressure. If it happens again, I know I'll be out 'til at least June". I said "don't worry, you aren't gonna wig out this time...no pressure at all".
"Good" she said.
So she's waving me in, but at a walk, not a run. Mild threats for me to behave myself "or else"
I can easily do this. Her pace is fine with me. Before, I got waaaay too eager...this time, because I am detached, I can just enjoy the easy pace and continue my great life as a bachelor.
I hope this narrative is helping someone other than me, and that it's not too boring!
Hey, are guys like communicating or what! What a great thing to have in a relationship!
It's such a positive sign that she is telling you her feelings.
Wow, I have no idea how mine feels, other than "don't back me into a corner". He says it nicely and with feeling though. Does that count?
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Mink, you are an inspiration. My sitch is going the other way. I keep getting dragged into her big black hole. All she wants to do is be snutty and argue. This is hell.
Well, next step...meet her after work tonight at the funky wine bar, for dinner and a couple glasses of vino (just called her to confirm...yep, we're on).
Then I am going to her place, where (so far) she has asked me to stay the night.
So last night was "just OK". We had dinner at the wine bar, had a nice time and talked a lot, but I could tell she was under a bit of a black cloud. I didn't push it, I was just myself and I kept the convo light. Work stuff, things I've been doing etc.
Then she told me something interesting. She said, if we did go our separate ways, she knows I would hook up with someone easily because I am "a catch". I said, well thanks for that...but if I'm a "catch", why are you resisting getting back with me? "I don't know exactly" she said.
So, the convo carried on to other topics, and we eventually left and went to her place. We cracked a bottle of wine and she asked if I'd give her a foot rub, so I said sure.
The convo came back around to "us" again (from her, not me) and we ended up really having a good talk. I was super cool, and she did most of the talking.
She feels that coming back home would feel like a "failure to execute her plan" that she had been cooking up over the past year or so. I said, yeah, I can see that, especially based on how we were when you left. Of course you have to realize things have changed between us now, and you would not be coming back to the same situation....she knows that, and that's the part that makes her want to come home, but "the past" makes her 2nd-guess her decision.
I told her she thinks too much!
She asked if I was getting frustrated with her indecision. I said yes, a bit, but she can take her time, it has to feel right to her. No guarantees on how long I will wait, however. She said she was frustrated as well, with her own indecision!
We slept together (no sex this time, both too tired) and drove in to work together. I know I am in a "cool" mood, I need to snap out of it, she doesn't need to see this.
Dropped her off at work, I said "see you Saturday" and that was it. Like I said before, at least neutral isn't backwards!
