So glad you too charge to turn around the anniversary to mean new and good things for you and S15. That's how to do it - start making new memories and meanings. I'm so glad for you. One step at a time.
Life is very good. Just hectic with moving in the next few weeks. Though it's really what I want, it's got some stressors with new work style/situation, place, etc. Also, the unexpected emotional "heaviness" that is so latent but there. A lot happened here for me, and saying goodbye to it all is good, but still emotional.
I still see xh here and there, and am so thankful to say that there is nothing. No love, no hate. Just indifference. And, major gratitude not to be with him anymore and attached to his life now. The drama in his life doesn't even shock me.....he's still pretending to have found religion (Mormon), yet still has his Single Guy Party Life, blames a lot of life on work and the D, and is still going through women like new shoes. Add to that the news that he's getting lazy at work with some really important paperwork that is piling onto legal issues.
So thankful it's nothing I worry about or live through. I'm thankful that I live a life that is not pulled in 20 different directions and is not integrated. As for you, it's not hurtful to hear these things, or my attempt to still cling to the situation and not move forward. Rather, when I do hear it, it's a nice push to keep going, that this is way beyond me, and nothing I want in life.
...now don't get any ideas, you sex-starved survivors, it isn't anything THAT exciting. Sigh
This morning S and I walked to the beach at 2 AM to watch the shuttle go off. It was gorgeous...the sky lit up like a stretched out shot from a roman candle. Clouds were low, so we couldn't follow it for too long, but it was really pretty, and S's first ever night launch.
However, goofball me couldn't go to sleep, so now I'm dead on my feet. Having trouble doing real work, so I'm doing a little catching up here for the first time in months.
This morning S and I walked to the beach at 2 AM to watch the shuttle go off. It was gorgeous...the sky lit up like a stretched out shot from a roman candle. Clouds were low, so we couldn't follow it for too long, but it was really pretty, and S's first ever night launch.
Ooooohhhhhhh - I am soooooo jealous!!!!! Night launches are incredible! I have always wanted to see one but am wary of planning a trip b/c the launches get bumped so often - especially these days.
Ooooohhhhhhh - I am soooooo jealous!!!!! Night launches are incredible! I have always wanted to see one but am wary of planning a trip b/c the launches get bumped so often - especially these days.
take care, AG
Too true about them getting bumped...the first time I saw one, a few summers ago now, we walked over three nights in a row only to have it actually take off the third night, when we decided NOT to wake up the kids. Oh Well, it is an advantage of living close, S15 will get to see his share eventually.
You're welcome to plan a trip and bunk with me and S15, if you can handle barely controlled chaos!
Thanks for visiting.
Musing about crushes...
Someone posted to nic that it is fun to have a crush, and I so agree, and am enjoying one right now so I thought to muse a bit. Two or three friendly observers have been pushing me to ask this guy for coffee, they claim he "has his eyes on me." But you know, it so fun to just enjoy the possibilities. Plus, no risk...I may not be quite ready for disappointment yet after the joys of MLC and a D.
Anyway, my thoughts, such as they are.
I'm still pooped from having not slept night before last. Getting a little older beats the alternative, but bouncing back is much slower than it used to be.
Would it be too shallow of me to say "I'm glad you didn't get much sleep so you can catch up"???
Thank you so much for giving me a different perspective. It's much appreciated. I confuse the hell out of myself lately and this has really been trying.
A crushee??? Hmmm..... :)Good for You!! I see that you may be a crushette too!! hehehe.. It's nice to fantasize and keep it to yourself for awhile. The need to rush things and hurry up get it over feeling seems to be gone. If one thing we learned it was patience!!
Ok so now I'm jelous! You can actually walk to the beach. You actually walked to the beach and watched the lift-off?!?!?! How wonderfully spectacular was that! I've always wanted to tour the Space Center.
I suspect this summer our school is going to be low on summer campers...economy is kickin ass here. Most parents are finding a way to keep their kids home. It's bad for business but good for my summer social life I actually suggested to my boss that myself and Elaine split weeks HE actually AGREED!! OMG!! I can work one full 50 hour week she does the other. It will not effect my pay much as I only work 60 hours every two weeks....but I'll have 9 straight days in a row!! To hang out on a hammock in your yard next to the beach
Be prepared.
Hugs,
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
[quote=Jeanette1120Ok so now I'm jelous! You can actually walk to the beach. You actually walked to the beach and watched the lift-off?!?!?! How wonderfully spectacular was that! I've always wanted to tour the Space Center.
[/quote]
Well just drive on up next time a launch is scheduled, sparkly one.
Yes, I have to remind myself on bad days that I live one block from the beach, how bad can it really be. The house is falling apart and the yard/jungle/sand box is embarassing, but what the hey, we can still walk to see the shuttles take off.
Nic, I hear you about the long-term crusshes. Enough is enough, I can see, in your case. But mine is still fairly newish, and it is just sorta fun to feel the potential for sparks.
But today particularly I am down about the loss of XH as a always-there sounding board for parenting discussions. With S15's disabilities issues, I often second-guess myself, and I worry if sometimes my short-term decisions for him aren't the best for his long-term situation...I would so like to just be able to call XH whenever I want to talk about it AND, more importantly, to feel like XH participated in a meaningful way.
How does everybody else handle this? Do you just find another sounding board? I ask other Moms sometimes, but sometimes I feel like XH's input could be especially good because he also has dyslexia. Waahhh...I think I just need to moan and groan a little bit.
We are having a gray day here--they are not allowed. Afternoon showers (or storms, or full-blown hurricanes), yes, but gray days are not acceptable in Florida.
I have been very, very down. In the "I can't get off the couch" mode. I am very behind in my grading, and only yesterday started to get a little caught up. I take my meds, but I suppose I need to get back to an IC. Another thing about moving, having to develop all these new relationships...
Waaaaaaahhhhhhh, I really am whining, but I think I'm about finished for now. Hope everyone's day is off to an interesting start.
