I am just listening and agreeing. That seems to help her feel less pressured.
With less pressure, her "dug in" position may soften.
She phoned me again this morning at work. At the end of the call, I said, by the way, I enjoyed our talk last night. She said yes, it was a very good chat.
Don't set your expectations too high for this weekend. It may be interesting to see what happens, but don't expect wonders. You're on a HUGE rollercoaster, and it goes up...and this weekend might come DOWN.
Just be prepared, but from my angle, things are looking up for you. BABY STEPS.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Point taken. I really will try to let it just be two great friends getting together for dinner.
However, here's a question.
What if she comes on to me? What if she gets those lovin' feelings?
The reason I ask is because it happened 3 weeks ago. Just the two of us, no expectations, out for dinner, halfway thru the night she starts saying, "what am I going to do with you?" then starts touching my arm, playing with her hair, flirting like crazy. By the end of the night she was saying she wanted to get back together. I stayed overnight, and that was it, we were back on.
Should I say "hey you, I thought we agreed to take this slow" and shut her down? Not a big boost to her self esteem.....
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Leave her with her wanting more. OK, you might be wanting more, too, but think of the benefits. Flirt with her, let her lead and tell her that you want her, you just want to go slow and do things right.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
She called me at home the minute I walked in the door. Nice, easy call, about 10 min in length. A few days ago I sent her a link to a music video on YouTube that I thought she'd enjoy. She called just to say how much she liked it, and asked if I would like her to buy the DVD for me. Wow...what a nice gesture.
"Sounds good", I said.
Another baby step...just hope it's not walking the plank.
Baby steps are where it is at. What a ride. I feel now that my R is moving in the wrong direction but I am going out skiing and GALing and I am going to live in the moment today!
Sorry that I may have been ignoring your sitch I am a bad dog. So even though you have not asked me specifically here are my me thinks for you.
You are in the exact same spot as I was in December!!!! Really similar. So she came on to me and I went with it and we had sex which was great I knew to expect that she would pull back or even worse and she did. But the effect of the physical contact was the tide that turned the sitch. She kept throwing me back out of the house and kept telling me that I should not get the wrong idea, but she was making all the moves and I was doing nothing.
It was classic don't believe what she says and not read into anything she does. I just enjoyed the physical contact. Of course it killed me when she told me it was just sex and we were not getting back together, but in the end I could tell that she was opening up to me even though we were seperated and she was sending me out of the house every chance she got.
Me thinks that you let her lead in every situation you are in this weekend. If she wants to be kissy kissy the do it, if she pulls back or cuts it off no biggie just pretend you're in high school again! If she wants to roll around, go for it. Don't make anything complicated... just keep it simple.
Me: 33 jacka** whom lied, stole, cheated, and basically treated DW like crap for years DW: 29 kind soul who gave too much to me over the relationship
S7 S4
M: 7yrs Bomb: 10/19 Seperated: 10/24
The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce
Mink my man it seems you are back on the path. If she gets those " love feelings" then let her make the moves. like Hound says if she pulls beck fine if she goes through even better.
