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ph, hang in there. It sounds like something scares him to feel too close to someone. Maybe it makes him too vulnerable.

Has he had issues with someone, in his past, that he was completely open with, giving his heart, and was terribly hurt?


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
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Divorced 10/6/08
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MMF,
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Has he had issues with someone, in his past, that he was completely open with, giving his heart, and was terribly hurt?
Yes, his own parents (Mom) and his ex-wife. He is like his Mom, afraid to open up, but not as bad as his Mom.


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Sorry for the hijack here PH. But I could sure use some prayers from both MMF and you. H is on the warpath again. I am glad all is well with you, PH. Good news.


Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
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Maybe your H is in MLC in his early 40's
i thought I read you didnt think H mlc
my H also said I didnt love him more than once throughout this yearlong ordeal
all so confusing
peace


married 14 years
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bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
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ANM, I am more than happy to pray for you. If you want more specific prayer, feel free to send me an email. Praying for you.


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Peace, I guess he is in some kind of crisis but not the MLC that most people would understand. He has some hang-up and feels strongly about some things but I would not call them MLC. It could be a spiritual crisis, because if he didn't have a spiritual crisis, he'd be back I think. He'd trust God to change him and trust God to provide all his needs.
Yes - agree that it's confusing. It took me this long to figure it out - 20 months. And when we finally let go and let God, God is faithful and honors our trust in Him.


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ANM, of course. I pray that you can feel the peace He can give you even in the midst of the trials you are facing.

ANM, something I have noticed through my life is that many times, the people that are hurting you are hurting themselves and in a very weird way, they lash out because you are the closest to them. Have you ever noticed that people are more careful with those they know less? That does not provide much consolation however that does say that their is inner turmoil and there are feelings present.


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
Married:18
Bomb 9/27/06
Separated 11/27/06
Divorced 10/6/08
Leaving it up to God
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ANM, MMF,
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ANM, something I have noticed through my life is that many times, the people that are hurting you are hurting themselves and in a very weird way, they lash out because you are the closest to them. Have you ever noticed that people are more careful with those they know less?
I have noticed this as well. In fact, my xH (previous M) used to say to this to me.

My H just left with our dog.

He was here for a few hours. When he got here, I was in the middle of getting ready for my day. He asked where I was going. I told him nowhere. He wa spuzzled so I explained that my lunch appointment got postponed last minute. He offered to rub my back, which was a nice time. Afterwards, he offered to fix my sump pump outlet problem. We had fun working as a team fixing it and testing the fix. It was his brilliant idea.

After that, we got our dog ready to go. When done, I asked he wanted to go out to lunch. He turned me down at first. Then I said I was going out to get lunch anyway. He thought about it and then asked which place would be open for lunch. He then looked as if he was worried (perhaps about our interaction). I gave him a hug and said it'd be alright.

We finally decided where to go. Ww got there early so he suggested going to the food market. It was a great idea (and I told him so). It was fun at the market because we tried some food samples and he helped me in practical ways when I got my groceries.

When we got to the restaurant, they were still not open so we decided to go to the other alternative. It was a nice lunch together...

My H was sweet - he said he was looking forward to taking care of our dog.
H: I thought you wouldn't trust me with her.
Me: I didn't know you wanted to watch her.
H: But she's your baby.
Me: She's your baby too
H: She's a sweet girl.

He kept wishing me a good trip. During the back rub, we chatted about many things, our cruise 5 years ago, etc. He told me (out of the blue) that his passport had expired and that he neededs to renew it soon because it takes months. I hope he's thinking of going on a cruise with me again.


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Sounds hopeful
back rub, that says alot I think when they are willing to get physically close
My H wont physically come near me,at this point
peace


married 14 years
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PH,

This is definitely a great start to your vacation with your H agreeing to take care of the dog. You seem to be interacting very well lately and I am so happy to hear this.

It's interesting that he's thinking of renewing his passport. Did you ask him if he was planning on going away? That could've been your cue to suggesting a trip together one day. You can still do that next time.

Have a great time as I'm sure you will. OMG, walks along the beach are so relaxing and that is what I did everyday when I went too. I walked one hour one way and of course, you have to come back. It helps to walk off all the great food you're going to have.

Talk to you upon your return,
ISLH


Me: 49 - S22 & S26
H: 41 - No kids
M: 10/00
Bomb New Year's Day 2006
H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07
D final 07/07
Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
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