[I'm curious - what was your response, or your text if there was one, to his less than enthusiastic reply? Did you actually text H and say "forget it then"?
I did, I think it was nevermind. I know self defeating. When I mentioned late I can't believe you stood me up and are now going out he responded I never once said I wouldn't go.
My new GAL goal is to find a babysitter. I have always relied on my parents and in laws but then feel guilty asking unless it is for something special because they watch her while I am at work. I have had a babysitter much since I haven't felt comfortable. I need someone so I can go take an exercise class or other short term things that I have never committed to since H's schedule changes every week.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I'd recommend lining up a couple of babysitters. My wife and I used to have a list of about 5 that we could contact in case anything urgent or spur of the moment came up.
I think this would help with GAL'ing as well - you never know when you'll be struck with the urge to just get out and do something.
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Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
I did, I think it was nevermind. I know self defeating. When I mentioned late I can't believe you stood me up and are now going out he responded I never once said I wouldn't go.
He went and did his own thing because you told him to 'never mind'. I've done that before, too, Neecy. Post-bomb and before our S, I wanted sooo bad for H to take me out, the way he used to during the good times. However, he always seemed to lack the enthusiam I wanted to see, so I would get frustrated and tell him to forget about it. I'm almost certain that the disappointment would show on my face and he could hear it in my voice. Definitely not attractive.
There were times when I'd say something to him about it. Sometimes joking, other times not. My H would always say, "You told me to forget it! If you want to (fill in the blank), then just say so."
We have to remember that our H's are not mind-readers. No doubt that it would be a whole lot easier if they automatically knew, but in fairness, sometimes we just have to ask for what we want.
Good luck in your search for sitters. Quick question - Is it at all possible for H to watch D while pursuing your GAL goals?
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Quick question - Is it at all possible for H to watch D while pursuing your GAL goals?
It is possible for H to watch if what I was doing was later at night or nscheduled. I was thinking of taking a class and H works hours that range from getting off at 5 to getting off at 9 and his schedule is never ready until the sat before. My sister has been taking pilates and wants me to come and my boss at work has been taking belly dancing, if I was to commit to either I would need a sitter.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Hey, Neecy. I was just thinking about your sitch, and it donned on me that it seems like H hasn't really been around that much. Am I wrong? I don't know, it's like a light bulb went off in my head all of a sudden!
You've pointed out a few times that you'd appreciate more time together, correct? But I'm wondering if it's happening. Seems like lately H has been out and about quite often without you (with the exception of your last date night).
Your thoughts?
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Well its over. I talked to H about my boundaries tonight, ones he has agreed to in the past but then broke. No contact outside of work with OW, remove her from facebook. Only work contact at work. I was told that he would not be removing her from facebook and if I needed him not to talk to her that would not be happening he could not and would not stop talking to her. So he has packed his bags and he is leaving. I guess the comfort of not snooping for a week was just a mirage.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Post-bomb and before our S, I wanted sooo bad for H to take me out, the way he used to during the good times. However, he always seemed to lack the enthusiam I wanted to see, so I would get frustrated and tell him to forget about it. I'm almost certain that the disappointment would show on my face and he could hear it in my voice. Definitely not attractive.