PH I can relate wanting more than H can give and not appreciating what he can do H wanted to help with dog.. that is probably all he can do for now he shows he cares that way I know , I always want more too wanting more doesnt help Im trying tolearn to be appreciate for what he can give atleast you didnt have to go in cold maybe he doesnt want to catch it cant blame him! hope you have speedy recovery affirnations..law of attracrion
I got the book the prodigal perspective..thank you i love it and I am receiving c cares e mail also they have a standers meeting here in my area and I will probably attend one soon peace peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
It's hard to know what he was thinking but I'm guessing he wasn't prepared to discuss the bills and he didn't want to give you the opportunity to bring up that conversation.
His purpose was to give you a hand with the dog knowing that you are not feeling well and that was something he didn't have to do.
So true. The next morning, I woke up at 5:30am to the phone ringing. He must have tried a few times. I think I heard the cellphone, then the home phone (twice). He called to say he was coming over to walk the dog before going to work! I said to God "Thank you!" As he walked to his car afterwards, I called out "Big hug". He said "Thanks".
When I got to work (Fri), I sent him an email reminding him that it was exactly 1 year after our other puppy left us. I also: 1) thanked him very nicely for helping out, care and concern, 2) apologized for causing him the inconvenience 3) told him how it was so inconvenient to come over and that he had wake up extra early and then be late to work... 4) I ended with "Big hug, PH".
No email response, BUT at about 4:40pm, he called and offered to walk the dog again.
When I was driving home, he called again, irritated that I wasn't home yet. I either had misheard him or he mis-spoke. But I was LATE. and he said "get here as soon as you can". I told him I wasn't delaying.
After he hung up, I prayed for God's intervention for Him - that my H would be compassionate and decide to be calm..., and prayed for a good interaction.
When I got home and opend the door, he gave me the BIGGEST grin and so did I. The first words out of my mouth were "I am sorry for being late...." Guess what? He told me it was ok and that I got there ASAP and maybe he wasn't clear enough about the time... Hooray! Anyway, he walked her. I thanked him and he asked me if I had gotten over the worst of it. I said that I'll be able to manage by next morning. He left saying "I hope you get better". He was sweet.
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He still continues to call you "Hon" which is a good sign to me.
Thanks for seeing this. Agree. I was starting to wonder if he was pulling away from coming home because of the bills issue. I am not going to let this bad thought sabotage the progress made so far.
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Don't analyze too much.
Appreciate what he did for YOU and be sure to let him know how much you appreciated his help.
Nothing negative from what I see..
You're right. I started appreciating and he came over 2 more times!!!!
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BTW, have you heard of Cold FX? It really does work wonders if you haven't tried it.
Otherwise, have some hot tea, and off to bed.
No have not heard of it. But will keep this in mind for future reference. I am out of the woods now, I think. Just need to take it easy and rest as much as possible.
It's a beautiful day here today. I am so glad to see the sunshine.
PH I can relate wanting more than H can give and not appreciating what he can do H wanted to help with dog.. that is probably all he can do for now
Knowing that this is all he can do now is so important. This is something I have had to learn during my S. God has REALLY been teaching me "gratitude", and feeling gratitude is SO rewarding. It gives far better results than "ingratitude". My problem was it became a habit to be afraid to feel grateful incase it wasn't real and I'd be hurt. I was so wrong... which I found out after learning about the Law of Attraction".
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he shows he cares that way I know , I always want more too wanting more doesnt help
Ditto.
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Im trying tolearn to be appreciate for what he can give
As "Men Are from Mars" book says, your H will really appreciate this. What is his love language? Is it words of affirmation? My H's secondary LL is this. Regardless of your H's LL, I am sure he'd still be encouraged by the appreciation you show. It'd encourage him to do more.
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atleast you didnt have to go in cold maybe he doesnt want to catch it cant blame him!
I know - I get hurt easily, probably. He does hurt easily too.
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hope you have speedy recovery affirnations..law of attracrion
Thank you - am getting there.
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I got the book the prodigal perspective..thank you i love it and I am receiving c cares e mail also they have a standers meeting here in my area and I will probably attend one soon
You're welcome. I hope you make it to the meeting. I wish I lived close enough to go. I am confident you'll get something out of going.
Yesterday, I plucked up my courage yet again and emailed my H for 2 favors: 1) watch our dog next week 2) take our dog to swimming.
It included telling him that I didn't invite him to the trip because I thought he wouldn't be interested in going with me. I felt I needed to tell him this. I asked him to watch our dog because he mentioned several times (a) he wished he could take our dog with him and (b) that he worries about her arthritis. This way, it gives him a chance to step up and take care of her out of the kindness of his heart. He does love her, I think.
Today, he responded: I have been thinking about <dog>. I leave for work at 5:30 AM and do not get home until ~6:15PM. Isn’t that too long for her? I do not want her to get a kidney infection.
If I would take her to her hydro therapy, how would I do that? Where is it? I hope you enjoy your trip.
I hoped and prayed he’d help out BUT I wasn’t expecting such a positive response. It really did touch me that he was willing to help and didn’t decline outright. I am thankful. And still surprised.
Peace, I am going to walk and walk by the ocean - my favorite past-time which I don't get to do where I am.
All - Hooray, because my H agreed to watch our dog after all. He asked his father to go to his house each day to let out the dog at lunch time. I am so blown away by his kindness AND by his father's kindness. I know it's not easy for him to ask his father and not easy for his father to agree to do this either.
My H is not taking our dog to hydrotherapy because of the time crunch to nake it in time to the appointment. BUT that's OK.
Peace, Yes, I am so touched by my H's willingness to chip in and really take care of my dog. Really looking forward to my vacation.
My sister just emailed me about booking a vacation for me in April - only 1 month away - to meet her and her family. She's paying for the vacation - very generous of her.
I haven't seen her in 3 years! So I am excited. At the same time, I am worried about asking my boss for time off YET AGAIN while we're in the middle of a busy work schedule! I knew my sister was booking the vacation but I thought it was in May or July. So the April timeframe surprised me.
I wonder if I invite my H, what his response would be.
Peace, My H is in his early forties. My situation is complicated - no OW, he moved out after a very angry outburst (has anger issues), and complained he didn't feel loved. H kept telling me he loved me for about 6 months after the S. I know he loves me deeply but isn't sure of whether our M can work out. He's afraid of moving back in and out again....
