Wife has filed, what do I do ?

[christarn]

micoms! I'm alive!!! hehehe!! Glad you got rid of the hospital bed! I bet that felt good!!! I liked your book list! I've also read a few more:
Getting back together by Bettie Youngs and Masa Goetz
Love Smart by Dr Phil
Take back your marriage by william j. doherty
fighting for your marriage by howard j markman,scott m stanley and susan l blumberg
how to improve your marriage without talking about it by patricia love and steven stosny (this one was reccommended to me by my DB coach!)

Some of these I just read chapters or parts that pertained to my specific situation. But during the first phase of all of this I was just trying to learn anything and everything I could, so I read anything available on saving a marriage. I did do some searching online (amazon) and found more titles of books I would like to read...just haven't had time!!

My birthday was this past week, so took a few days out to party!! Otherwise work has been extremely busy. We had a 6inch snow storm, and i think everyone shoveled snow and caused themselves to have massive heart attacks When I left work tonight we were full and had at least 8 patients waiting for beds!!

I hope all is well with you! It sounds like you have been staying busy also!

keep on fighting the good fight,
christa

[micoms]

Christa,

Good to hear you're still kicking. Started reading 5LL. They predicted the white death here also but only got about two inches then rain. They were predicting 6".


Doc said I can go back to work 1/03. Can't wait, though my route is now gone, was absorbed by everyone else. Supt said something about using me to the best of my abilities, he wants me to be troubleshooter, fix problems on others routes they can't fix.
Had Co Christmas party at Dave and Busters, restaurant and game room. Big old Mike broke down, they got me a card and took up a collection, from 15 guys they collected over $500. When I opened the card and saw all the money, i had to walk away, tears were leaking from my eyes. Branch manager asked if I was ok, I said i was overwhelmed. I tried to get around to all the guys and thank them. Several times my voice quivered and my eyes got watery.

W filed for D, served me 2 weeks after I got home, wonder why she didn't have me served at the hospital? I guess she was being nice huh. I haven't talked to her since T-day, trying going dark. Don't know if I'm invited to her sisters house for Christmas Eve. S26 is bitter with his mom. She has only been to his house 1 time in the last 9mos. She's seen our GD twice since about May. He called her T-day, she still hasn't returned his call. He said he might not go to his aunts house for Christmas Eve.

How are you doing with H? Last I heard he was connecting a little.

Mike

[christarn]

Mike...I'm sorry to hear that your wife served you with D papers, that must have been tough. How is the going dark thing going? Have you seen any reaction from her? Your poor GD, and children, this must be difficult on all of you, especially with you recooperating from surgery and the holidays.

That was soooo nice of your co-workers to give you some holiday money. I would have cried my eyes out! I love Dave and Busters. We do not have one around here, but some friends of mine live in Nashville, TN and we go there and hang out...it's always a blast. Did you have fun at the Christmas party? We're you able to unwind at all? It's been almost a year since my H and I have been seperated, and still have problems going out and just relaxing and having fun, I am constantly feeling like something is missing.

As for my sitch, I wish I could say it was better, but I don't know. We text occassionally. We see each other ocassionaly. It is what it is. For now, I am ok with that. I am not ready to move on, and I still feel hope, so I will keep fighting the good fight...maybe someday it will pay off I figure the way 2007 went for me, it can only go uphill in 2008!!!

Take care of yourself. Glad to hear your recovery is going so well!

Not that this is anything special, but I had a patient who has been with us the past couple weeks and his chest incisions and the wires they used to close the sternum (bone over the heart) became infected. The bone turned into mush...no joke. They had to take it out, for days we were doing dressing changes over the heart, right there, the heart beating right there! It was so crazy. They ended up taking a muscle out of his abdomen and placing it where his sternum once was. I guess the moral of my little story is...you are doing awesome, especially with everything going on in your emotional/home life...so kudos to you!! Keep fighting the good fight!!

Christa

[micoms]

Christa,

Just got home from a Christmas party. Had a good time, saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while. Had a great day, baby sat GS while D24 and BF went shopping at their house. He is 2, we played on the floor, he was climbing on me and kissing me on the ear, played cars and kicked a soccer ball around. D has already asked if I will coach his soccer team when he gets old enough. Fixed their toilet, leaking hose on washing machine and leak under kitchen sink.

W came home while I was watching GS. First time I've seen or talked to her since T-day. Gave her compliments, told her she looked good. Asked her if I'm invited to Christmas Eve at her sisters, she said if I want to come. Told her kids are coming to the house Christmas day except S26, she could come if she wanted to. Also that I'm making New Years dinner, all the kids are coming over for turkey dinner and I'd love her to come. Also said I will be making pizza after I get back to work, all the kids will be there for some of Dads world famous pizza, the kids always called it that. I asked if I could take her out to dinner one night, she said ok.

Glad I didn't know about the horror story with your patient, although with all the morphine I was getting,I probably could have cared less, LOL.

It's good to here your sitch is at least the same. Is he initiating contact? I haven't had much of a chance to GAL with my recovery, also most of my friends are married, I wouldn't feel right going to a club by myself.

You keep fighting the good fight yourself.

Mike

[christarn]

Mike..just wanted to say happy holidays! hope all goes well! talk more later! christa

[micoms]

Christa.

Thanks and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you. Went to SIL's house last night, W was there. Had a good time, our kids were all there also. I had wondered about S26, W hadn't talked to him in 2 months. It was good to see my niece and nephews. Caught W looking at me at times, when I'd look her way she'd look away. At the end of the evening she initiated a hug, I had a crock pot in my hands so I couldn't hug her back. I'll see her again on New Years at friends house.

Had kids over this morning for exchanging gifts. Due to surgery I had no money for gifts. Guy's at work took up a collection and gave me over $500. Spent some on GK's, the rest went to a new hot water heater, it went bad, water temp wouldn't go lower than 190 degrees. Gave D's certificate for a dinner with Dad, the boys a night out with Dad.

Here's to hoping the new year brings us closer to S's.

Mike

[christarn]

Mike, I am glad you had a good Christmas. Mine was good also, my H, ended up texting and asking me to stop by, a plesant surprise. We have been chating a little more. he has two lab pups, which i have been helping him with (vet visits etc) I am trying not get my hopes, which is hard, but I have learned each time I do, I end up getting hurt. So back to Christmas, we hung out with a friend of his, and drank some beers in the garage. After our friend left, I said something, which came out wrong and hurt him and lead to a monster argument. I hate the fact that I have a tendency to want to say something true and from the heart and my mouth gets in the way and it comes across as being an insult, which I never mean it to be. I ended up staying and apologizing the next morning. He understood and was thankful for the apology. Yesterday, I took the pups to the vet and stayed we had dinner and I gave him a Christmas gift, I felt bad, nobody in his family had gotten him anything for Christmas, so this was the only gift he had received. He was happy, it wasn't anything major, a t-shirt and sweatshirt from Harley in Ireland(i went to ireland in oct this past year). We hung out and played with the pups and just chatted, it was good. I spent the night, and this morning we went our seperate ways...which sucked big time for me. I guess we will see what happens. I am praying that 2008 is much better for us, for you and all of us here on the boards!

Sorry for my ramble!

take care,
Christa

[micoms]

Christa,

I know about reading too much into S's words or actions and getting my hopes up. I'm not reading anything into the hug W initiated Christmas Eve.

I'm glad he accepted your apology, the overnight stays sound like some steps in the right direction. I have a black lab myself, she's 5yo. The smartest dog I've had, she goes crazy for chasing a ball. She's a dainty little thing, only weighs 90lbs, big for a female.

Good luck, remember to keep the mouth in neutral while the mind finishes what to say.

Mike

[christarn]

Yes, the lab pups are simply adorable, I find myself becoming way too attatched to them. We have 3 pit bulls, I took them when I left. He said he would never get another dog, so I found it rather strange when he did. But they are so darn cute, one can't help but just love them!

One of my new year's resolutions is to work on not being so open or blunt with what comes out of mouth. I was trying to tell him that part of why I left was it was hard on our marriage when I went back to school, and he was on the road 5 and 6 days at a time...we had both been drinking, he felt that I was ridiculing him for doing what he had to do to support us, which is not what I meant...I was trying to say, I don't do alone well, I have really learned over the past year...I just plain don't do alone well at all. But he took severe offense to it.

Ya know mike, looking back, and knowing now what I know, I was just plain out acting like a spoiled brat 9 times out of ten. Growing up, I never had to compramise, or really work over time to pay bills etc. Believe me we did have pertinant issues at hand, such as my H's enjoyment of partying (alot!!) but nothing that couldn't have been resolved. But I guess hind sight is 20/20. I guess I have just grown a lot over the past year, and I am hoping that he sees that!

Have you heard from your W since Christmas? Any plans for new year's eve?

take care
Christa

[micoms]

Christa,

I can't imagine having two labs. Ours is a handful. She has food allergies so we have to feed her special (expensive) food. 100% duck and potato.

My W said in the past she felt I ignored her, I spent too much time with the kids. We had problems 10 yrs ago, and worked it out. The major problem was my job. Had a contract that had overtime calls that kept me out 2 to 3 nights a week. Only got 2 or 3 hours sleep those nights. This time it's her job. Her hours and no weekends off.

I know every time I try to talk to W I shoot myself in the foot. I need to keep my mouth in neutral myself.

My W always paid the bills, I never spent money usually. The only purchases I made for myself was nice camera equipment. Nothing outrageous just a good camera and lenses. Took pictures for two of my brothers weddings.

Going to friends house for new years eve, W will be there. It's at my best friends house, we've known each other since high school, but didn't hang out together until college days. Our W's are best friends also. I'll try to act as if and keep my happy face on. Hopefully she'll notice.

Mike