8:30 h calls again...son still wont talk to him...still hasn't left his apartment yet but still plans to come to see son...so much for being here when the sun comes up.
I told him to not bother as he's already missed the point of what son had asked him...when the sun comes up...means when I wake up..son woke up at 7:30 and didn't bother to ask for daddy..he just wasn't here and when he called son didn't want to talk to him...can't force the phone on a boy who is holding his hands over his ears saying I don't want to say hi.
I told h that I've called the lawyer...h asked what did I say to him..I let him know the office wasn't yet open so I've left a message for them to call me back to sched an appointment. h says nothing... I let h know it is not what I want to do..but I'm given no choice...I can't be in a r with someone who wont even discuss basic feelings with me...that I will become an angry resentful bit ch and I don't want to be thought of that way so I must end it before then. h still says nothing. I ask did you hang up on me...h says no If I hung up on you would I answer you...I said it is what I would ask and if I got no answer then I'd know you did.
all h has to say is please don't file..give me some time...it's not what I want I just don't know what I want or what to do.
but h wont say that because he doesn't have a clue how he feels so he'd rather just let me go so I can be happy.
I love my h honestly I do...but I can't live in this r any longer...if I continue I will start to hate him and that I don't want. so I must end the pain.
Do what is in your heart. Remember what you told me. D is only a piece of paper. Maybe H will realize what he is losing and come looking for you. Hopefully it won't be too late.
