Today is a new day. Trying to pull myself out of a rut. I've been dwelling on things I can't control. I don't like these feelings of doubt. I hope it's just a temporary and I can get past. It's mentally exhausting and I know it needs to stop. I haven't heard from W since last Monday. I don't plan on reaching out today to exchange kids. I knew this week was going to be rough and it exceeded my expectations for sure. It definitely pushed me to my limits. Last night I went and reread my thread and soaked in some of the advice. I think it helped a bit. So, I'm just hanging in there and being patient. Would like to get out and GAL. I know I sound down, I guess the marathon can ware a person out once in a while. Hopefully some good things will fall my way soon.
ME 47 W 38 M17 T20 Separated 5/20/18 D-bomb 7/9/2018 Nothing Filed 4 kids ages 6, 10, 14, 15
Yes, rereading after you are more soberminded and ready to accept the advice provided. Sometimes we are so amped up in our sitches that we don't listen. I know going back and rereading was very beneficial to me.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thanks Neffer..I'm feeling alot better.W came over to get kids. It was actually pleasant. We visited for a few minutes about her health issues and about the kids. I acted like I was doing just fine.She still has that guard up strong. All business. When she talked , I validated almost everything she said. Anyways , I know there's going to be good days and bad. Just going to keep positive and moving forward. The rereading the advice did help. Done moaning around right now. Back on track.
ME 47 W 38 M17 T20 Separated 5/20/18 D-bomb 7/9/2018 Nothing Filed 4 kids ages 6, 10, 14, 15
good evening..Journaling Well its been a few days since Ive logged anything. Im still plugging away day by day. My WW is still doing her thing. She did tell me that her OM does not want to be more than just friends. And that he is a great friend and a big part of her life. That kinda of hurt, but she just doesn't get it. I know he doesn't want a serious relationship with some with major baggage. Its seems she is hanging on for dear life though. I just SMH at this. Its got to be the fantasy fog. Her health is starting to go a little more. She said that her friend OM is going to be there to support her and that she doesn't know how its going to work with me around. I just validated and said thats fine and I understand. Today I met her for a few minutes at the gas station to fill our daughters car etc. She seems very very stressed out and doesn't smile or anything, very irritable.Like maybe things aren't going her way attitude. I asked her if theres anything wrong and she said "no I'm doing great"..I just said ok and left it at that. I thought wrong when we were actually starting to talk a little. I thought maybe I was making a little progress and making some sort of connection. I just learned that she is just as far gone as she was a month ago still.
My daughter spent a little time with her yesterday and she says that she spends money like crazy. I know thats a sign of a MLC as well as WW. She hasn't hurt me at all financially except I'm paying all the bills here where I live while she lives for free at her parents. That will change next month when she moves into our rental house. We shall see.
As far as me GAL. I went out with some friends last weekend. Do a lot with my kids and work way too much. I do worry about my W health and her well being. She knows I care and worry a lot but she doesn't want my love ATM. So I will keep my distance some more . The marathon continues. It is nice my 2 older kids stay with me and don't like bouncing back and forth. My 2 little ones are ok with it. I get them back tomorrow for a few days. Single dad can be okay sometimes but can be very lonely. I may have set my self back a bit talking a little to much the last few days. Time to back off again and let things go again. I still have moments of grief and pain, but not as often. I have moments of happiness and then sadness. Its just the roller coaster ride from hell. I know I'm all over the place writing my thoughts so I will end it here.
ME 47 W 38 M17 T20 Separated 5/20/18 D-bomb 7/9/2018 Nothing Filed 4 kids ages 6, 10, 14, 15
I’m right here with you, buddy. Never chimed I’m on your sitch, but I’ve been reading it. Remember that the roller coaster has highs and lows. The lows suck. And the highs are not always as steep and high as you would like, but they get steeper and higher and better and better.
You got this. We got this. It sux at times, but we will be happy again. Period.
Last edited by WillD78; 09/19/1802:23 AM. Reason: Autocorrect fix
Me: 40 W:39 T: 19 M: 12 D4, D7 EA/BD: August 2017 EA ended: Oct 2017 MC: Oct 2017 - March 2018 W signed lease: July 10, 2018 W moved out: Sept. 14, 2018
You're saying you thought she had "progressed", but then realized she is right where she was a month ago. Pray tell, how is it that you can delve into her mind and see "where she is at"? Or are you simply just trying your hand at mind reading?
Seems like you're focusing on the wrong person. It's going to take work and discipline to change that focus, start small and stick to it.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Thx Will and Paulze Lol..ovrrnbw...I've always been a mind reader...and probably always been wrong. I know, trying to get in a WW mind is impossible. I think after the rough week I had last week, I fell into some sort of desperate phase. Just need to saddle back up. I thought I was making progress, but the realized I was only fooling myself. I need to trust the process. Definitely need to discipline my self and take it slow.
Last edited by LANE777; 09/19/1803:30 AM.
ME 47 W 38 M17 T20 Separated 5/20/18 D-bomb 7/9/2018 Nothing Filed 4 kids ages 6, 10, 14, 15
