Still Lost... But Not Forever

[LostMN]

It seems it's time for a new thread:
(I don't know how the linking to the old thread works, but if that could happen, that would be appreciated.)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...989#Post2568989
OK, last I posted:

If I intend to keep the support going, I suppose I should keep posting. It's been a week and a few things have happened:

1. I have joined up with a men's support group. I hope to receive some good feedback and challenges from the other members of this group. I joined based on the group's link to "No More Mr. Nice Guy" which I am still finding a valuable resource. I met with the group once already and discussed some of my situation and what I can do about myself.

2. My W and I have scheduled a first one-hour consultation with a local divorce mediation firm. I don't really know what to do with this other than read up on mediation and what I should be looking out for.

3. I am actively trying to watch out for my approval-seeking behaviors and take note of them. For now, the biggest one I have noticed is being a "know-it-all". I add things to conversations that are not relevant (but they show off the fact that I know tons of stuff). I give my opinion on things of which I have little knowledge. And most insidiously, I correct people. On piddly little stuff like grammar and language. I see these behaviors and for now, I am just being aware of them and trying to catch myself when I do it and take note.

4. I followed through on all the GAL activities I had planned for last week. I felt kind of bad being out of the house so much (and sometimes on relatively short notice) but I felt energized by meeting new people, seeing some old friends, and doing things that I have not done in a long time.

MrBond and I were discussing the fact that I agreed to the mediation meeting:

Why?

I've been working under the assumption that if my W insists on going through a divorce, a mediation-based outcome would be less damaging to our financial and emotional well-being than a strictly attorney-and-court process. Now that I examine that, I don't know that to be true, and in fact, I have read lamentably little on the whole subject.

So, that is where I am right now. The mediator meeting is on Monday, and now that I think about it I could call my work's Employee Assistance Program to get a better idea of what my legal options are. Maybe that would be the best thing.

[Cadet]

Just talking to other men is a great idea and can help you immensely.
I think that is a great idea.

[MrBond]

How did the meeting go?

[Bob723]

Hello LostMN,

I had the same question for you as MrBond.

How did you mediator meeting turn out on Monday?

Take care!

Bob