Would like to ask a few questions please?

[Calopie]

Hi Community! Newcomer Michelle here! I would like some advice on some situations that arise and how to handle them please.

1. Should I be saying that I am fine with the breakup, doing great etc? It's been 5 months now of separation, his view is it's over and he now has a girlfriend. If not how should I be wording that I am not? Don't know if we are suppose to be honest about this one.

2. When it comes to the hardships I am incurring because of the marriage breakdown eg 4 year old daughter is a mess, having to buy and move house, financially will not cope well, do I gloss over these or do I bring these up? I am able to do so without emotionally being a drama queen and without blame.

3. My phone coach and I am devised 3 things that I can put into action to get some more "good times" going. One is to invited my husband over to dinner to spend some family time with our daughter, suggestions on how to word this proposal to him in a non-threatening way? ie its not a spent time with me ploy when in fact we all know it is! haha

We are on really good terms, see each other everyday and have really good interactions as far as conversations go, for the most part they are light and happy but they are only short interactions and the aim is to pull him in for longer so he can picture himself back with his family and that it can work. The reason our marriage failed was mostly my fault, due to being on a contraceptive pill that affected my mentally and physically, I became a different person, and this was only found out two months before the big split. He is aware of this and I am back to the old me, a case of too little too late.

The woman he is seeing seems a typical case of rebound, I know she did have feelings for him while we were married, she had a boyfriend as well. As soon as she found out we were separated she dumped the boyfriend and began the chase. At first he was not interested, as soon as I left the family home though to gather myself so I could get emotionally stable, he started talking to her and claimed he fell in love because she made him feel special, something I know I didn't do in my altered state. Its only been a month and a bit that they have been together, she has even already dumped him once because I came back to the family home and she thought we were getting back together, they hadn't even slept together at that stage. Two days later my husband and I slept together and then a week later they were back together and the saga continues.....

I have great hope in my heart at this stage that I can have a new beginning with my husband and am determined to do everything I can.

Thanks for reading my ramble!
xx

[UpperCu]

Hi Calopie, can you provide some more background on your sitch?

What happened 5 months ago that triggered the separation? Do you have a separation agreement? Have you seen an attorney?

[Calopie]

Sorry I have posted twice not realising this was moderated and just thought I didn't post right heres the other post that might help http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...758#Post2533758 I am in Australia so there are no separation agreements. We had a fight 5 months ago and I was still off my rocker at the time, I did threaten to leave and I know those words hurt him badly, they were said out of a place of fear, I feared he didn't love me anymore and I was testing him in my own stupid way to see if he did, if only I could take that day back, was only a matter of a month after that fight that the effects of my contraception pill had started to wear off fully and I was back to me.